Monday, June 29, 2009

Milla Double Feature Saturday

We had a Milla Jovovich Double Feature last Saturday at the Whiteplume residence. It was going to be a mini-marathon, but could not get into any Resident Evil to make it at least three. We did watch The Messenger (1999) and Ultraviolet (2006)

The Messenger: the Story of Joan of Arc has Milla in the staring role. Costars John Malkovich as the douchey Charles VII, Faye Dunaway as his ballbusting mother-in-law, and Dustin Hoffman as... well, god, perhaps?

This is a really fun movie for the first half. It is filled with brutal battles and Milla acting bat-shit-crazy half the time. She pulls off bonkers really well. The other part I love is her three captains who have a real Three Musketeers thing going; they are bad ass, and could not give a damn, but follow her as Porthos, Athos, and Aramis followed D'Artangian. The second half gets more serious and slower. Full of political and religious plotlines, but remains a good movie. In the end, when Joan is burned at the stake, the movie takes on a very Hammer Horror kind of feel.

Ultraviolet is one I just cannot get into. It is 100% eye candy. Heavy CGI - it seems all the backgrounds are digital imaging. In a way it is probably ground-breaking, but still it all gets a tad distracting. It looks like you are playing Mirror's Edge the whole time.

The story is a weird vampire thing, where a "vampirism" virus is started, and disease is the new terrorism. Milla is a "hemophage" (one of the vampires) and is sent to intercept a weapon. I won't say any more than that.

The story gets a little convoluted. There is a lot of gun-kata and sword fights. There is a motorcycle chase scene that is, well, kinda stupid, but different. The bad guy, Daxis, played by ├╝ber villain Nick Chinlund makes up for some of the lacking areas. Worth renting, worth watching if it comes on tv, but me and Calvin will likely be the two DVD owners here.


This is part of why Milla is so lovable. She does not mind looking and acting wacky!

7 comments:

Tommy Salami said...

Yeah, Milla's a good sport... we tend to be on the same wavelength with nerdgirls amusingly enough- she's already pre-posted as my Hump Day honoree this week.
I liked Resident Evil 2 and 3 for dumb popcorn, though the best nude scene is at the end of the first one- which doesn't make up for the rest of the awful movie.

Darius Whiteplume said...

I was tempted to download Zoolander. She's a riot in that. "You and your K-Mart Jaqueline Smith collection stay away from Derek Zoolander!"

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Maybe my love for Milla is clouding my judgement but I can watch Resident Evil over and over again. Its definately one of my guilty pleasures. She is a great Joan when you concider how old she was when she took the role. I even liked the crazy nature of Ultraviolet especially when she is being chased on her bike by the helicopters. But again, I have a pretty high tolerance for anything she is in and I freely admit that. I love Fifth Element and use the "MULTIPASS" and "BA DA BOOM" lines as often as I can.

Darius Whiteplume said...

I like the RE movies too, but can only take so much tv in a day. Looking forward to A Perfect Getaway (looks like 14-Aug).

Keith said...

I've never seen Ultraviolet. I've always wondered about it. I've heard a lot of crap about it. I wondered if it was as bad as others said or not.

Darius Whiteplume said...

All in all it is not so bad, though it kinda gets all over the place in the end. Comicbook adaptations always do that. (At least, I think it is a comickbook adaptation)

It is a good zone-out, ignore the plot holes, ass-kicking movie.

Sleazy said...

I had to use a device similar to the one pictured in your post to stay awake through Ultra-Violet. As for The Messenger, snoozfest. I had to watch the battle scene with that windmill weapon like eight times on slow mo just to get my money's-worth!!

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