Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I have a confession to make...

I carry a purse. Well, sort of. It's a "messenger bag" in common parlance, but I am willing to admit it. I carry a purse.

I don't like to be encumbered. I don't wear a watch. I don't wear any jewelry - not even my wedding ring. I don't like things in my pockets. I have a cellphone, wallet, Kindle, sunglasses, work keys, home keys, thumb drives, mp3 player, hand sanitizer, lotion, pens, pencils, lip balm... I gotta tell you, all that shit is not going in my pockets.

I am unapologetic about it. I have a bag for work, and I have a cooler/smaller bag for weekends. I did not care that they are all messenger bags until this weekend. We went to the opera (Verdi's Rigoletto) and we decided to dress up. Well, none of my messenger bags goes with a charcoal suit (or any suit, really), so I spent the day with all my shit in my pockets, as well as some of the wife's bulkier shit, as her purse had to be small. I do not dress up that often, but I decided I need a basic black bag that will carry my stuff when a messenger bag will not suffice. Unfortunately I can only find messenger or "urban" bags...

Men of America, stop being so fucking suburban. It is far more logical to put your stuff in a bag, no matter what you call it, than to hang everything off your belt, or buy those stupid multi-pocket pants. Carrying a purse does not make you want to suck a dick. It's just sensible. Get over your fears of what others think, and the fears of those latent homosexual urges you have suppressed since that time at camp. Think of it this way - it's more stuff you can buy, and it can be bling too.

As for now, I guess I'll keep my place ahead of the curve, and just go to Macy's and find something suitable.

11 comments:

Knarf Black XIV said...

I prefer the stupid multi-pocket pants and dislike carrying things around, so Imma have to agree to disagree with you on this one.

Darius Whiteplume said...

I partly just felt like being provocative ;-)

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

You magnificent metrosexual bastard. You hold you head high and carry your manpurse with pride. You got stuff to carry with you and we have too long been relegated to skinny unrulely briefcases and poorly designed children's backpacks for long enough. OWN your purse and wear that strap like Chewbacca's wears his bandilero of ammo. You are not JUST a man, you are MORE than man. No longer can woman claim this convenient carry-all as their own personal baggage. You are a pioneer and visionary. Now someone clear the way for Darius. He and his PURSE have a mission to save the world. (oh that is beautiful writing..where are my tissues?) What? Too much?

Atom Kid said...

I like to call it a "murse"!

crazyred said...

If any post cries out for a photo, it's this one.

The Evil DM said...

Dude that is so gay.

Just kidding, I've had my "Manbag" for years (well I've had my original manbag since birth, but that's different).

I go with roughened leather, Military canvas, or Swiss Army gear when I'm feeling stylish.

My wife still calls it a Murse.

Wings said...

I don't carry enough with me anywhere to justify whether or not I would carry one, but who cares what others thing? You like it, end of story.

I do agree with crazyred, though. Where's the pic, dammit?

wiec? said...

i'm with you bro. i hate anything in my pockets with the exception of my wallet and my keys. that said everyone carries a messenger bag in NYC. the ones who look weird are the ones without a bag.

personally and i'm not ashamed to say i have about 10 messenger bags. some are old. a couple are new, one's for days when i'm lugging extra stuff around, one's for winter, one's for summer etc.

if you're looking for a small bag for formal events check out a company called Cordura online. they make stuff that looks nice and they have stuff that's compact. i took mine to a wedding and nobody said anything. to my face anyway.

Anonymous said...

It's nice to see that not everyone lives in a place where they would get jumped by hillbillies in pickup trucks for carrying a purse...manbag...whatever.

I get the locals whispering when I grocery shop while listening to music on my iphone.

Good for you. A murse sounds good.

the eternal list said...

great blog, love your header

Darius Whiteplume said...

I was going to take a picture, but that would mean putting on pants... So much hassle. ;-)

Actually, I do live in quite the hillbilly place. It is strange. When I lived in Raleigh you'd see gay couples all over the place. When we moved to Fayetteville it was eerie - "the gay people must be hiding," I thought. For the most part, that is true. Fox News is Fayetteville's official tv station, IYKWIM.

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