I'm Back!

Well, I lied a bit. I was actually on vacation. A Disney Cruise! M-I-C... K-E-Y...

It was actually a lot of fun. Got drunk at Sloppy Joe's in Key West (where Hemingway was reported to be a patron). Had a few beers at a sea turtle center on Grand Cayman (yes, there was a bar at the research center). Had tequila and a beer on the beach in Cozumel (are you starting to see a pattern here?). Also went to Castaway Cay, Disney's island in la Bahamas. Pretty much I walked and drank my way through seven days of sunburn.

Also saw some Mayan ruins on Cozumel, which was one of my things I have always wanted to do. It was not a huge ruin, but still fun. Apparently it was a Mecca of sorts for female Mayans, as it was the main temple to the goddess of fertility.

Here is an actual picture of my ugly mug hidden by a slightly less almost mug (plastic cups count, sort of).

Nerd Girl of Note #21

Who is it? Elizabeth Kaitan Websites Friday the 13th, Where are they Now? Why do nerds love her? Friday the 13th alum, Vice Academy, Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity
Elizabeth Kaitan is a Hungarian born actress who moved to the US at age eight. She studied acting at the New York Academy of Theatrical Arts, and appeared in the Woody Allen film Zelig, and then went into a string of sexploitation and horror films including Friday the 13th VII, Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity, Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, Vice Academy 3 through 6 and Petticoat Planet. a.k.a. Elizabeth Cayton, Betsey Johnson

Assault of the Killer Bimbos Trailer

Fiction's Finest Nerds #10: Lisa Simpson

Well, if you haven't noticed, January was an unannounced theme month in the Fiction's Finest Nerds category; "Grade School Nerd Girls." No matter how hard you try, you cannot exclude Lisa Simpson, nor can you place her in the middle. She is the last name in grade school nerd girls, and as such, she is the last entry in this theme.

Granted, The Simpsons has perhaps overstayed its welcome. I have not watched it in years, and no matter how good new episodes might be, I would rather the show stay great in my memory. I don't want to see Conan with a walker, and I don't want to remember The Simpsons as a show that sucked.

That being said, Lisa is the archetype of the young nerd girl. She is obsessed with good grades. Her zeal for school work annoys her ambivalent teacher. She respects her principal (I never did that). She is interested in Zen Buddhism, literature, philosophy, jazz, the environment, and is a vegetarian and feminist. Her intelligence makes her question the world around her, particularly when she discovers that her beloved Malibu Stacy is a poor role model for young girls. She is the foil for her June Cleaver mother, her borderline retarded father, and narcissistic brother. Being a nerd girl, she is cursed to be loved only by the less-than-bright dork Milhouse... Her's is not an easy road.

You could write a book about Lisa, so I'll stop here and simply thank the Invisible Pink Unicorn (blessed be her holy hooves) that she has graced our televisions.

Nerd Girl of Note #20

Who is it? Jane Fonda Websites IMDb Entry Why do nerds love her? Barbarella, among others
Maybe a controversial choice, but I happen to like Jane Fonda. Barbarella, while über-campy was a lot of fun. She has been in some of the great movies of the '60s and '70s.

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Jane as Barbarella


Jane as Barbarella


Young, young Jane


In Klute


Jane's Mug Shot


On, literally, Stephen Colbert

Ah... The bookstore.

I am going to have a bit of time to read in the coming week, and some time to listen to audio books, so I made a run to the bookstore to make sure I was prepared. I have a ton of things to read anyway, but got a wild hair about some things. Here's the damage:

Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert (paperback)
I hate to admit it, but The Sopranos turned me on to this one. When Carmella is sleeping with the guidance counselor, season 5, remember? Anyway. I have been meaning to read more classics, and am into the classic French lit. It sounds interesting; an attack on French bourgeoisie and a woman's attempt to escape the drab life of her times and (if I get the gist correctly) live out a romance-novel life.

The Wordy Shipmates, Sarah Vowell (audio book)
I always get Sarah Vowell on audio, since she reads her books, has guests playing roles (big names, I might add), and is hilarious. She has the best take on American history I am familiar with.

I have heard this one is not so great, but I trust Aunt Sarah. She always had the best This American Life segments, and her other two audio books are a lot of fun. This book is about the early European settlers. I'm looking forward to the bit about Rhode Island, which I believe was the first colony without a religious standard (meaning, I'm sure, any christian was acceptable, but I could be wrong).

Loaded (magazine, UK)
Slightly tacky, but most always fun. Its a great "I have five minutes and need something to read" periodical (yes, that means on-the-toilet, typically).

Dreams from my Father/The Audacity of Hope, Barack Obama (audio book)
I know, it sounds like inaugural ebullience (my new favorite word), but I was listening to The Diane Rehm Show today, and they were discussing Dreams. It sounded very interesting, and a good look at the man. He apparently discusses some things he is not proud of in his search for racial identity. One passage la Rehm played was the clincher. Obama and his friend (Ray?) would occasionally overplay their blackness to whites, and how tough it was. Obama says something to the effect of:

[...] this isn't the Jim Crow South, this is god damn Hawaii!

Lastly, got the wife a Kenken book. Apparently it is Sudoku with math, or something. I could never do Sudoku.

That being said, I won't be around much for the next week or so. In and out with little-to-no computer access. I have pre-published a few regular feature items. Otherwise, I'll see you all in February.

Big welcome to Phronk

Follower #35 is Phronk, whose blog you may remember from my Are we Americans losing on the zombie front? post few weeks ago. I am still looking forward to the wife allowing a trip north for a Zombie March. She loves Halloween. Arden, maybe you could mention this to her next time you talk?

Anyway, I normally do welcomes in pairs, but Phronk has a post that all my Star Wars fans should enjoy. Check his blog out here, and the specific post here.

He'd look better in a coffin...

Fiction's Finest Nerds #9: Almondine

Camp Lazlo is a cartoon about summer camp. The rival camp for girls is Acorn Flats and its Squirrel Scouts. There are actually two nerd girls (a huge step forward in nerd rights). My favorite is Almondine, an owl.

Almondine is a bit bookish, a little goth, and fairly meek. The episode "Call Me Almondine"—IIRC—involves a wig pageant where all the girls are to wear ridiculous wigs and parade for the yokels living in the nearby town. Almondine does not feel comfortable doing this and breaks with tradition, appearing as herself. She is ridiculed by said yokels for ruining the wig pageant, but resigns herself to be who she is.

Ahhhh....

I was wrong, but...

The dumb-asses on base want us in. I am going late. My Mini has not been in the snow, and I am not feeling adventurous.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

If you see a blue & white Vans hightop in there, it's mine.

Expecting a big letdown tomorrow morning...

No, not about Obama.

They are calling for up to six inches of snow here tonight. We don't get snow much in the south, and whenever it is expected, it does not come. I refuse to drive in the snow since I left my teen years, so snow means what it did prior to age sixteen; no school! (or work, these days)

I fully expect to wake up to bone dry streets and 40°F... I had hoped to bask in the inaugural glow, unbathed, wearing sweats, and perhaps have a pre-noon adult beverage to celebrate. Instead, I'll be at Republican central, listening to how the country is going to go to hell because of "That One." Did I mention I work for the military?

Maybe, just maybe, the Invisible Pink Unicorn (BBHHH) will hear my pleas and shower us in the loose, un-snowball-able stuff we call snow in North Carolina!

Shin Chan!

First, Action Bastard pokes fun at the manipulative and misogynist aspects of some action cartoons.



Next, a great take on anime with Hiro vs. Misty in a kendo battle.
Bonus: features Shin's ass-dance!

Golden Axe: Beast Rider

You may have noticed the half-assed new logo, featuring the dwarf from Golden Axe. Well, in looking for images, I came across a new game: Golden Axe: Beast Rider (PS3). I may be a bit behind the times, as I am still a Playstation 1 owner :-)

While Golden Axe was my favorite game series, this game looks like it might be fun for an hour or so. It looks like you run around, semi-pointlessly, on a monster-powered killing spree. I am all for that, but have played enough similar games to know they don't last.

A big part of the original Golden Axe games was the teamwork. On the Sega Genesis (and maybe the arcade) you were only allowed so many credits, so you took your life, and your partner's, seriously if you hoped to complete the game. This one looks to be one player only, and the combat is reduced to essentially a heavily armed motorcycle. They do say something about a Legacy game, which also appears to be one player.

Now, I have been thinking of getting a Wii, and if it was available for that, I would likely get it, but there would have to be a lot more to the PS3 for me to choose it over the Wii or XBox for my next ridiculous man-child purchase. As far as a new Golden Axe goes, I'd rather see something like Final Fight, which was essentially a semi-3D version of Double Dragon. Play over a network with the three main characters could be a lot of fun. Ultimately, I'd rather just play the original.

You can check out the game here @ Sega.

Two new followers! Welcome!

I tend to do my welcomes in pairs lately, and today I had two. After doing a little dance, I decided to get out the welcome post.

#33 is Blondcleau who runs Bee Waits for No One—a collection of cool picture, poetry, and observations.

#34 is Ugly Angie from Ugly Angie, which includes some really cool art, and at least one Hemmingway reference (I have not read him for years, but love Hemmingway).

So, big welcomes, and everyone get over to see these blogs. I'm sure The Doctor would want it that way!

New Nerd Toy! Rebel EOS 450D

The wife and I are cheap camera buffs, but finally got a digital SLR. We've had an analog Rebel for years with a few good lenses and filters, so we went with the Rebel again. Here's some boring pictures of my kids. I will not make a habit of this.

Weird Sopranos Quote

Tony: "Did you ever know anyone who committed suicide?"
Janice: "Oh, plenty. I used to live in Seattle."

Fun Website AND Booze

Hey all, it was vodka buying time at the Whiteplume residence. I dissed my old favorite and James Bond standard Stolichnaya for a new-to-me vodka from Iceland, Reyka - Iceland's only vodka. I am not a connoisseur, but can tell you it is pretty good. A little pricier than Stoli. Their website is pretty fun, especially the "Watch TV" portion. You can see them here.

Not sure why I am so into Iceland. I am sure it has something to do with Björk...

Hotties of Yore: Claudine Auger

Claudine Auger is a French actress who played Domino in the James Bond film Thunderball (1965).

Click Image to Expand in a New Window/Tab

Wallpaper from My Wallpapers.
Other images from James Bond, 007.

Nerd Girl of Note #19

Who is it? Natalie Portman Websites Official Site Why do nerds love her? Queen Amidala, Léon
Most of you know, I am no huge Star Wars fan. When I was a kid, yeah, but not much any more. Fortunately you don't have to be into Star Wars to be into Natalie Portman. The first time I saw Portman was as Mathilda in Léon (1993) with Jean Reno as Léon, the assassin, and Gary Oldman as his nemesis. It was a rather twisted movie and Portman earned a lot of cred as a young girl in love with a killer. If you have not seen it, run, don't walk, to your DVD store of choice. Also aside from Star Wars, she was in Mars Attacks! (1996), V for Vendetta (2005), and nerd-positive The Darjeeling Limited (2007). Obviously, I can't ignore Star Wars, and frankly enjoyed parts of the new movies. Just not gung-ho about them. I liked Amidala as a tough altruist; a benign monarch who steps down to join a democracy, such as it was. Portman does a great job, and even in the over-the-top world of Star Wars you can see she has strong acting chops.

A new follower!

My longest RL friend is finally on Blogger and is following my blog for real now! So welcome to Arden Ravenclaw. Her brand new blog is Physiognomy.

Are there too many cop shows on TV?

Slight warning, this is a somewhat rant-y post, but hopefully humorous.

Man, I get home from work, and it's all CSI, Law & Order (what, are there like ten of these now?), and now this damnable NCIS. I know cop shows are a television staple in the US, but geez! Pushing Daisies gets canceled while the original L&O does not have a single character from the first season anymore. Normally I would say this would keep things fresh, but when I watch it, all I can say to the cops' smart-assed remarks is "you're no Lenny Briscoe."

I used to think CSI was the worst. All the characters are so combative. They are über-cool, but sound like nerds one-uping each other with their science kung-fu. It is always dark (yeah, scientists love doing lab work in the dark), and one of their big scientists is a former stripper. So she's the one who was actually paying her way through college (not knocking strippers, btw).

As I was saying, I used to think CSI was the worst, but then came NCIS. This show has the added sickening power of being military related as well. Mark Harmon's character (that's right, someone let Mark Harmon back on TV) is named [gulp] Jethro. Jethro. Isn't that one of the TV names you don't reuse? You never see a new show with a Barney Fife or Steve Urkel. Hey, let's call him Fonzie!

The worst part is the awful fake-goth/emo chick, Pauley Perrette (Abby Sciuto). She is way-too cupie doll for me, and does not, IMHO, pull off the Bettie bangs. I'm sure she's a lovely person and all that jazz, but I despise the character. For your reference:



Maybe I'm a little anti-social, but I like watching the bad guys. The Sopranos, Deadwood, hell even The A-Team or Dukes of Hazard. Give me someone to be scared of, or at least less of the self-righteous and-justice-for-all crap.

Phew. Got that off my chest. I feel much better now.

Geek's Dream Girl Needs You Input!

Hey, I'll make the jokes here!

Seriously folks, the talented "e" at Geek's Dream Girl is gathering information for a book on female gamers. She has a survey for guys and gals, so do her a solid and go here to provide your info.

DC & Trek fans MUST see this.

Geektopia posted possibly the best audio-video mashup of all time. Hal Jordan/Green Lantern made to sing the William Shatner rendition of Dylan's "Mister Tambourine Man". I think I may have pee'd a little! :-)

Meetup.com: My first two encounters.

Well, using Meetup.com I have joined four groups, and had meetups with two of them.

First, a not so enthusiastic web design group. Only two others showed up, but we all had varying experience and skills, so I learned about a few things I may have never heard of.

Next, a D&D group. It was a lot of people. Nine of us all together, so kind of a lot for D&D. I was not familiar with the world (Eberron) and my 3.5 skills are a bit lacking these days. All in all it was fun. No serial killers or overly weird gamer types.

So, I am planning more adventures in the world without internet... There are two groups I have not met with yet; one is atheists and the other vegetarians. Both groups have the potential for higher weirdness than gamers, so if you don't see any random posts from me in a few days, call 911!

Wow, it's starting to get crowded in here!

Big welcome to some new members!

• Hello to Joe (I am completely surprised that username was available!). Joe has a blog about his D&D experiences: Joe's Dungeons & Dragons Musings.
  
• Hi to Calvin of Calvin's Canadian Cave of Cool. I love Toronto, but don't hold that against me :-D
  
• Last but not least, Bubba Shelby, who has several blogs, so you can see his profile here. We've been running in the same circles for a while now, eh?

As always, I love comments, so feel free to remark. I don't get hurt easily. "Ouch! These keys are so hard!" Sorry about that.

LOL Catz

I am not a cat guy really, but have been trolling this site for a while lately.


more animals


more animals

The Song Stuck in My Head: Please Mr. Postman

Actually, it was The Beatles version, but I do love the Motown girl groups.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #8: Gretchen Grundler

Another favorite of mine is Disney's Recess. Again, a gang of kids with the obligatory smart girl. Gretchen Grundler is seriously nerdy. She's in third grade and has a pocket computer with voice recognition software. How many of us have that? Gretchen's vocabulary is prodigious, she is the de facto science fair winner, and when she tries to be cool it is the most ridiculous thing you ever saw. Buck teeth, glasses, freckles, and an awkward growth spurt make her stand out.

As far as geniuses go, she is pretty socially tame. She corrects grammar and corrects people, but is never abusive with her intelligence and can appreciate the breadth of skills possessed by others. If you've never watched Recess, really, give it a try. It is a funny, smart show that does not coddle kids and addresses a lot of real-life fun and trauma experienced pre-high school.

Meme: 20 Men I Admire

Gilligan @ the very cool Retrospace tagged me with this one. The Small print:

This is called the 20 Men I Admire Meme. The title pretty much says it all. Make sure you post these rules when you participate in this meme. Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the blog that tagged you.
2. Link back to the originator of this meme, which is The Dino Lounge.
3. Create your own list of 20 men that you admire and post them on your blog.
4. Tag 5 other people to participate in this meme.
5. If you like, please let The Dino Lounge know that you've participated in this meme so he can check out your posting and comment on it.

No particular order, save that the earlier on the list someone appears, the more in-my-mind they were. Pardon the roman numerals. I was thinking of becoming a schismatic pope.

1. Donatien Alphonse François de Sade, Marquis de Sade (June 2, 1740 – December 2, 1814). Sade had one of the world's great minds, and while slightly nuts (IMHO), he did spend the majority of his adult life in prison because of his views.
   
2. Teddy Roosevelt. The last good Republican. There is plenty that could be said against him, I am sure, but when your party says they are not going to run you for president so you make your own party and beat them... That is bad ass.
   
3. Al Gore. While I thought he should have fought the 2000 election "results" harder, I think he carried himself with extreme dignity by following the letter of the law. Think of how much better the world would be right now if he had been president. He's also a nerd, and publicly at that.
   
4. Okey, semi-sappy moment. The Old Man. The elder Whiteplume went from playing baseball in Cin-City to landing Hueys in fire-fights in Viet-Nam. While I could argue they were handing out medals like candy, he was awarded a Silver Star, which I don't believe was a gimme medal. He never discusses the war, and does not glorify it. Does not own a gun. Converted to the Democratic party when Clinton ran. He's done a lot of things I don't like, but he tries to make amends and with age came my understanding that life sucks, so he gets a pass.
   
5. Patrick MacNee. Another pacifist. MacNee played John Steed in The Avengers and made it a point for Steed to not use a gun, having seen to much of them in World War II.
   
6. Bill Clinton. Tragically flawed, but a good man. The Clinton years were the best of my life; the first time I felt positive about this country. Lets hope the next eight years are a repeat.
   
7. Julian the Apostate. Roman emperor who bucked the christian norm established by Constantine.
   
8. Christopher Hitchens. He fell off my list when he started cheer leading for the Iraq war, but he has so many qualities I admire. Not everyone can be perfect.
   
9. Haruki Murakami. One of my favorite authors. I even enjoy his books that I do not superficially like. He is an intriguing author. Try Kafka on the Shore or The Wind Up Bird Chronicle some time.
   
10. Yukio Mishima. Another Japanese author. He is a weird one, and I don't agree with all his view points. Though it is not considered to be fact, it is pretty obvious he was homosexual, and I can only imagine how hard it was to grow up in Imperial Japan. I guess I just love the tragic figures.
    
11. Christopher Reeve. I don't know how he went so long without killing himself. I wouldn't have made it a week. I don't know much about him but have to admire such strength of will.
    
12. George Clooney. He makes me laugh, and is pretty darn liberal. Sure, he only plays George Clooney in movies regardless of the role, but is that really such a bad thing?
    
13. Sticking with actors. Bruce Willis. He went from being the poor man's Mickey Rourke to one of the big three action stars (along with Arnold and Stallone), then into semi-obscurity, only to return with some excellent performances. If he's still a Republican, I'll cut him some slack.
    
14. Thomas-Alexandre Davy de la Pailleterie. Father of Alexandre Dumas. A half Afro-Caribbean French general who once held a bridge alone so his men could retreat.
    
15. George Foreman. I don't know how he has retained his mental faculties (regardless of what people think of them) after his many years of boxing. Just look at the state of the great boxers of his day... Foreman has remarkable mental competence, and that grill is pretty fantastic.
    
16. Ray Mancini. Boxers are, to me, always tragic figures. Mancini was great, but that terrible fight which killed Duk Koo Kim killed boxing for him, and for me. I have never quite enjoyed it ever since. Mancini retired with a 29–5 record, with 23 knockouts.
    
17. Malcolm X. Perhaps a bit misguided at times, but a powerful figure.
    
18. Bill Maher. Gutsy and smart. I do love an iconoclast.
    
19. Louis XIV, King of France, the "Sun King". Louis was shrewd and fairly intolerant of his nobility. He offered some of the great witticisms of all time.
    
20. Oscar Wilde. The tragic bon vivant, author, and playwright. Like Sade, Wilde's perceived persona often overshadows the brilliance of his work.

Phew! Now for a few I don't admire.

1. Mae West. John Wayne said she was a man, and if the Duke says you're a man, you're a man. Mickey Hargittay was part of West's cadre of men. He fell in love with Jayne Mansfield and West made it her mission to ruin both of them. Asshole.
   
2. Charlton Heston. Glad he's dead. I did like Soylent Green, however.
   
3. G. Gordon Liddy. Complained Clinton defenders who refused to testify were cowards, but he went to prison to protect Nixon. Even if he is a vegetarian, poo on him.
   
4. Let's just say "The Bush Administration." H.W. and W.

Enough of that. Now, who to tag...?

1. The Acrobatic Flea (for a British perspective)
   
2. New follower Calvin (for a Canadian perspective)
   
3. The Tenebrous One (for a Female perspective)
   
4. Lockwood (for a Geological perspective)
   
5. Jay (for a Jersey perspective)
   
6. SPECIAL: Mark, if you want in (I know you love Memes) you can email me and I'll post here.

The Song Stuck in My Head: Stay

Weird Sopranos Quote

Paulie: "I don't care how much ice you dump in there, my friend. It does nothing to kill bacteria."

I'm paraphrasing. Got the wife the entire series. Just saw Jackie Jr.'s funeral. Poor Meadow!

Thanks to Jay @ The Sexy Armpit for giving me a link boost!

Shit Talkin' Tough Guys: Philip Marlowe

One of the original anti-hero tough guys is Raymond Chandler's iconic private investigator Philip Marlowe, and the best of Chandler's books is the excellent The Big Sleep.

Marlowe meets Vivian Regan:

[...] "I don't see what there is to be cagey about," she snapped. "And I don't like your manners."

"I'm not crazy about yours," I said. "I didn't ask to see you. You sent for me. I don't mind your ritzing me or drinking your lunch out of a Scotch bottle. I don't mind your showing me your legs. They're very swell legs and it's a pleasure to make their acquaintance. I don't mind if you don't like my manners. They're pretty bad. I greive over them during the long winter evenings. But don't waste your time trying to cross-examine me."

Oh, there will be more from Mr. Marlowe. Even the bad Marlowe novels have got some of the genres great lines.

Shit Talkin' Tough Guys: Tombstone

I was thinking the other day that there is a huge section of my nerdly loves that I have completely ignored on this site. A section that fuels movie love and RPG character attitude. Nothing is better than a shit talkin' tough guy in a movie, and Tombstone is less western than it is a shit talking genre of its own. Below is one of the best clips from the movie. Bask in the hyperbolic glow as Kurt Russell intimidates a bowel movement out of Billy Bob Thorton.

Hotties of Yore: Catherine Deneuve

Not much needs to be said about Catherine Deneuve. Belle de Jour (1967) is possibly my favorite movie. Repulsion (1965) is trippy and creepy. Then there is The Hunger (1983) which I did not like when I watched it, but like it more as I think about it.

Nerd Girl of Note #18

Who is it? Valerie Leon Websites Official Site Why do nerds love her? Horror, Carry On, Bond Girl, Britsploitation©
Valerie Leon is one of the great Hammer Horror beuaties, staring as Margaret Fuchs/Queen Tera in Blood From the Mummy's Tomb (1971), but also appeared in several Carry On films, Never Say Never Again, and notably as Tanya the dominatrix in Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978). Several oddities surround at least two roles; In Carry On Girls (1973), I believe her voice was dubbed (it certainly looks dubbed, and does not really sound like her); in Blood From the Mummy's Tomb, they had her wear a wig which looked identical to her real hair. There is also a feigned nude scene where, as Margaret, she runs across a dark room. Leon says it was a body double, as she refused to ever appear nude (IIRC). She is in a handful of Britsploitation© films (my term for British Sex Comedies that are not Carry On films) including Zeta One (1969) and No Sex Please: We're British (1973), among others. She also appears in an episode of The Avengers ("Whoever Shot Poor George Oblique Stroke XR40?" 1968,a Tara King season) and The Saint ("To Kill a Saint" 1967). Everything I have seen her in was fun, and she is still very active, doing a lecture on her Carry On days in March of this year (see here site for details, my UK friends). Also, if she does the commentary on a DVD it is always fun to listen to as Ms Leon is both charming and funny. I wonder why it took me so long to feature her?

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In the Queen Tera costume.


In the Queen Tera costume.





With Vicky Kennedy(?) in Carry On Girls


Lousy quality, but a bikini shot.


Carry On Up the Jungle


Perhaps 2007?