DFR Cartoon, "The Layoff"

Weird Verification Words

Have not done this for a while...



Just sounds weird. Like something from a Tarzan movie.


Sound you make when eating a gymnea?


A Gringo-Spanish euphemism...

It's Wednesday!

via Fuck Yeah! Christina Ricci

Gratuitous Commander T'Pol Photodump

Oh, Star Trek...

3 Days Left

We have gotten Geek Orthodox up to 22 votes, and is in the lead for Blog of Note. Strong contention from a cancer blog (geez... freakin' cancer?).

By the way, Reis did not put me up to this, and may not yet know (he's a busy guy with school and all). He was, however, my first follower, and I have always enjoyed his blog, so I started this for purely sentimental reasons.

Wanna vote?

http://tinyurl.com/dgotqn

then search for the entry from me.

or better yet, here:

http://tinyurl.com/cqlob5

and you should see it right away.

All we have to do is believe! Believe, I tells ya!

Old-School Sci-Fi Hotties

Finally Catching Up a Bit.

After a few brutal weeks at work, I am finally trying to get my blog reading caught up. I really should just to a "Mark All As Read," but there is no telling what gems I will miss.

Is it just me, or is it lazy of Google Reader to say "1000+" instead of the actual number? It is a computer, after all.

Those eyes! They FOLLOW ME!

I got tagged by Samurai Frog with the Eye Meme.

les règles
1. Post a picture of your eyes.
2. Tag a few people.

So here are mine.


Oh. Wait. Not my collection? My actual eyes? Okey.


One of the major reasons I didn't get a lot of women in my youth.Smoking causes a lot of that ugliness. So quit already. Today. The scar in my right eyebrow if from the days when children were allowed to run around with pens in their hands.


This is the look of an impending auto accident I am not at the wheel of, or I am before some magnificent example of womanhood.


"Hulk SMASH!" Not the most attractive, but effective on certain occasions.

Tagging: Calvin, Lockwood, Empress, Trixie, Miggiemoe

Play if you like.

BubbaShelby Art for Me!

Two great pics from friend of the blog, Bubba Shelby. I helped expand his DC heroes collection and he was good enough to honor me with original artwork of Elvira and Red Sonja. Very sweet. Check him out at his blog, as well as at Amazon Princess.

Blips of the Week

"Rabid" (1977, David Cronenberg)

I do not typically do big movie reviews here because, well, while I enjoy film it is not my area of expertise. I love Belle du Jour as well as Malibu Express. Not a lot of consistency there.

I watched 1977's Rabid this morning, staring the recently deceased Marilyn Chambers, five years and one film after Behind the Green Door. There were a few things that drew me in. I was always fascinated by the cover (they tend to use a similar image as above), I had never seen Marilyn in a straight movie, and there is the Cronenberg factor.

The plot? Basically a vampire-cum-zombie movie. Rose (Chambers) is involved in a motorcycle accident near an experimental plastic surgery facility. Due to serious burns, the doctors performed a radical/untested procedure which transforms her into a bloodthirsty monster. She cannot eat food, and rejects the IV nutrition at the hospital. Her victims are more zombie-like. As she passes the 'disease' they become mindless killers.

Any spoilers will be after the images.

All-in-all, it was a remarkably good movie for the time. It is similar to John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13 (1976), not so much in the semi-zombie classification, but in that you could see what both men would do once you gave them a budget. The cinematography is very good, in my opinion, and Cronenberg never tries to do more than he's capable of. The special effects are minimal but effective, and save for a few areas, the story is cohesive (more in the spoiler area).

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Great shot here.





Feeding time.





Hmm... This looks like a good place to find a meal.


Did they really have popcorn in porn theatres in the '70s?


Subway zombie woman.


Had to include a panty shot. It's in my nature.

Spoilers:

The only hole I really felt in the story was that the hospital that treated Rose never thought that their treatment was responsible, but it is possible (if not probable) that they would be in heavy denial. Also, the lead doctors were dead early on.

I liked that Rose died anonymously and no one found out she was the 'zero' infection. The idea that this will happen again if the surgery is performed on someone else leaves an unsettling sense of non-closure.

Cool Singer: Autumn Nicholas

We went to the Fayetteville Dogwood Festival today, which is often one of the nicer weekends in Fayetteville during the year. We saw a singer who sings at a bar we don't go to, but may have to start. Really great voice. She did a lot of her own stuff and some covers. Check out Autumn Nicholas on MySpace.

"I Will Never Go To School"

This is either the greatest, or stupidest thing I have ever seen.

Yeah! DFR Posting!

I got my last comic posted at Dinosaurs Fucking Robots, here.

Oh, that's NSFW. :-)

Impiltur's History: Brynn Willowfeather

"Do you hobgoblins know what your problem is? You die too easily!"

Easily might not be the right word. Perhaps the eladrin should have said quickly, because dying on the edge of Winter's Fang is far from easy.

Brynn Willowfeather, Champion of Evereska, whirled through the crowd of hobgoblins. Not a drop of blood stained her armor as her frost brand bastard sword cauterized wounds with ice. Stiff bodies lay around with a sickening red-gray frost caked at the end of severed limbs and rent bellies. A cloud of snowflakes billowed around her as she brought death to the Gray Forrest of Impiltur.

A flash of light came from above. The starfall, she thought. She heard a shout from Whiteplume for his orc. Something must be up, the orc was retreating. Brynn touched the amulet at her neck and spoke an ancient word. Suddenly her sword was lighter and her limbs more quick. She began to rain death upon her foes like a hurricane. The brutes could barely react.

Unlike the others, Brynn had been waiting for this fight. Every tree in this wood was a forebear to her. Each was once an eladrin trapped in these woods by these fatherless hobgoblins. He pace quickened. She fought recklessly. Tirelessly. Mercilessly.

She was nearing the witch-king now. This foul hobgoblin with his demonic sword was calling out to the fallen star in the grunting language of his ilk. The foul smell of the sword burned her nostrils. The flashes of light turned the snowflakes blue. Then a flash of green and the Wizard Darius was between her and the witch-king. He began casting some spell, apparently trying to contain the hobgoblin.

"Brynn!" he called back to her, "I was wrong. This is not how things should have happened."

The light in the sky grew stronger, seemingly closer.

"We are done here, Brynn," he called. "Return to Evereska, perhaps your people can succeed where I failed."

"I cannot leave you here," she replied, "You are mad!"

He took the strange gem from his robes. She had only seen it once before, on the day they found it. Its glow was both beautiful and perverse.

"Go, Brynn. Evereska must know I have failed!"

She drew another amulet from her pouch. She watched the wizard raise the strange gem before the witch-king, then spoke a single word, "home."

My First Nomination

Okey, I never knew how to nominate a blog for Blog of Note. Then I saw them mention on Twitter how to do it (see, Twitter is good for something).

So, I nominated the beloved Geek Orthodox. Get over there and vote. Click this link:

http://tinyurl.com/dgotqn

then search for the entry from me.

or better yet, here:

http://tinyurl.com/cqlob5

and you should see it right away.

We'll get one of our own recognized by gum!

Impiltur's History: Varkaok Elfslayer

As his blade swung, Varkaok waded into the throng. He moved with a sense of purpose unusual for his kind. His friend Darius Whiteplume had found him fine instructors over the years. Few are willing to train orcs, but the wizard can be very persuasive. All that preparation, it appears, was for today's fight.

Standing a foot taller than his foes, Varkaok was like a bull in a flock of sheep. He scythed through the hobgoblins, raining foul-smelling blood, skin, muscle, bone... In his youth he would have loved this, but now the work sickened him. This was not combat, it was practically murder. Then he saw his goal ahead. A harsh smile came to his lips and he pushed on with greater determination.

That sword, he thought, must be destroyed.

A bright light shown in the sky. The star Whiteplume had warned of. He was running out of time. He began moving more wildly — letting the old rage fill him; slapping the hobgoblins aside with his shield and trampling them underfoot. The crackling light from the Sword of Impiltur was glinting off his foes' armor. He could see the witch-king, smell the odd mixture of brimstone and electricity. The witch-king looked his way briefly, then up at the falling star.

"Varkaok!" came Whiteplume's voice from behind. He pretended not to notice for a moment, but then came to his senses. He owed his life to the wizard and must obey.

The wizard was standing next to Arden Ravenclaw, the druid. She was working some magic on the hobgoblins.

"It is too late friend, Varkaok," Darius said, "I need you to go to the portal I showed you."

"This fight is far from over," the orc replied.

"I have Brynn here to aid us. Please, brother, you must go and take Arden with you."

"What?" the druid exclaimed, "I will not flee, I have business in these woods. Your concerns and mine are parallel, but they are not the same."

"Varkaok. Brother. Please do this for me," the wizard practically begged. He had always treated Varkaok as a friend rather than a bodyguard, but he never called him brother.

The orc grabbed Arden by the arm. She spoke a word and spit at his face. The orc had seen this before and wisely dodged. He saw it hit a hobgoblin and heard the sizzle just before the screaming started. He grabbed the druid , threw her over his shoulder like a calf, and ran off into the woods. She struggled in vain, raining curses upon him. Some of which, he worried, would stick.

So very wrong...

New Banner vi@Comic By Comic

I have obviously seen this in other places, but I just saw it at Comic By Comic, which I enjoy. This is Big Red by Frank Cho.

How behind am I?

Sorry if anyone has been feeling neglected, either here or at their own blogs. I have been way to busy. See this?


Those are my blogs (in Google Reader). I am not even reading my own stuff!

Cool Pulp Covers @ Elektra Luxx

I know some of you enjoy old pulp covers. Elektra Luxx does some great posts.

"That's the best bass player I ever heard!"

"He plays so sweet, I'm getting chubby!"

More youthful me. I used to play bass. I still have one, I just suck. I always thought this was firmly placed in the "funny 'cause it's true" category.


"Heather?" [smirk]

That kills me.

Laziness on my part, mixed with confusion. Welcome to new followers!

Longtime readers here will know I like to acknowledge new followers to the blog, and I used to be very good at this. Not sure why I started it. I am not an overly polite person. I do have a deep-seated desire to be loved. Also, my favorite part of Romper Room was "and I see Martha, and Johnny, and Katey, and Pete," but sadly never heard my ridiculously common name ("David" or "Dave" - I go by either - Really? You don't see David? I can't throw a rock without hitting a David or Dave!).

Anyway, enough about me.

Truth is, I noticed I was getting blog traffic from people I followed, and being a social ombudsman, I hoped to help my followers along (okey, a little more about me :-).

Since Blogger changed the Follower gadget, I have not been able to keep track. I know we have several new people, and don't want to leave anyone out, so rather than giving the normal rundown, if you'd like to comment here and point out your blog or website, please do.

Now, for your viewing pleasure:

Twitter, again. Fun, but for the insane?

Well, maybe not insane. Weird SPAMmers? I get this "following you" email, and see this:


In case you don't care to expand that, jessys1116 has been on Twitter 19 hours, and is following 620 people.

So, I went to her website, and thank the Invisible Pink Unicorn I read Geek's Dream Girl who has warned her legion of girls like this. "I want to be famous, and need your help!"

Sorry. Blocking.

Hotties of Yore, and 500th Post!

Well, roughly 500... I have some scheduled posts and drafts. I am probably shy of the actual 500, but as this blog is not ISO-9000 certified, I am saying 500! Woo-hoo!

So, here are three quick pics of a famous exchange. For the uninitiated, it is Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield. For the really uninitiated, Jayne is the blonde.

Blips of the Week

Dinosaurs Fucking Robots

Just finished this tonight. Want to send to DFR. Hopefully they will post!


Rough Translation: "Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you."

My Zombie Fighting Dream Team

So, there is this thing on Facebook where you pick your celebrity dream team of five to fight the zombie hordes that I think we all know are coming. I heard about this from by brother-in-law, who had a good team (though through a cheat of sorts he has six). Bruce Willis, Lt. Cmdr. Worf, The Mythbusters (herein lies the cheat), MacGyver, and Barack Obama. These are fine choices. Inclusion of The Mythbusters is inspired. I would drop the wiry Obama, as there are other leader types available and make a legal five.

Here are mine. I present them here because Facebook doesn't let you describe in any detail why you choose your team members.

1. Ving Rhames: he's a big imposing guy with a commanding voice. When scavengers come to steal your dry-goods and ammunition, Ving will keep them in check. He also has zombie fighting experience from Dawn of the Dead.
   
2. Mr. Spock: he is superhumanly strong, and since fear is an emotion, he is fearless. His logic and leadership abilities will be of great use, and he is selfless. Also, while emotion-free, he is not without compassion; when the looters come he may be able to negotiate a non-violent resolution. Remember, every tired, weak human is a zombie waiting to happen.
   
3. Brock Samson: yes, he is a cartoon character, but he is a freakin' tank and virtually death-proof. He doesn't use a gun, and blades don't use ammo. He knows how to take out a mob with his '69 Charger, which is also tricked out with lots of James Bond tech. He's loyal and won't ditch you when things get tough. Also, he's a pilot, just in case you find a plane.
   
4. Wendy O Williams: first, every horror scenario needs a heroine. Wendy O is a take-no-shit woman who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. She knows her way around small arms, and as a vegetarian will know how to keep you in good health when meat gets scarce.
   
5. Tom Savini: if you are going up against zombies and don't take Savini, you are out of your mind. Savini is Mr. Zombie, thirty years running. If you can find someone who has been in more zombie movies, take 'em, but my money is on Tom.

That's it. There are some others, but I won't mention. In case others want to play along, I'd hate to spoil anything.

High Tech? I Call It Steam Punk!

I know it might be sucky to say, and weird considering what a pacifist I am, but I love this pirate shit! I reminds me of my favorite show from childhood, Danger Island.

So, today on NPR they were talking about piracy combat equipment. Many shipping lines will not allow crew members guns, and many ports will not allow armed ship to port. So, there are some alternatives. The talk was about how high tech this stuff is, but I can totally see a Victorian superhero using any of these. Some are also very super-science-y, so they satisfy my Johnny Quest sensibilities.

First, a super grease spray. See a pirate ship coming? Get the super-grease spray gun out and slick their decks so no one can more around. Hell, spray the pirates, and they can't get around well. Come on, grease is a 1st level spell in D&D.

Next, the Force 80 Water Cannon. 400 gallons of water per minute up to 100 yards away. Remote controlled, so you can't shoot the operator (okey, that is high tech). Spray the pirates off their boat, or fill their boat with water and sink it. I can totally see Captain Nemo having one of these.

Third, the Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD) which transmits sound up to a mile, warning in several languages to stay away ("Viper is armed" kinda thing), or blow out some eardrums up close.

That's all from me. Check the real article out here.

More DFR Fun

You might remember my Dino Town story that was posted at the hillarious Dinosaurs Fucking Robots. Working on something new. I am no artist, but the robot was coming together so well.

This is a sketch not from the Emergency Broadcast Network. This is only a sketch.

Quick History of the Realms, Characters

Here are the characters from the old 3e Forgotten Realms campaign I played in. I am working on their story during the big cataclysm that led to the 4e Forgotten Realms.

Brynn Willowfeather
Grey elf (eladrin) fighter. Brynn was one of my wife's characters, and a serious tank. She weilded a frostbrand bastard sword (+3, I think) which I have dubbed "Winter's Fang." In my story, as the cataclysm approached, she (at Darius Whiteplume's insistence) went to Evereska to seek aid from the elves. Brynn was a Champion of Evereska, and therefore has high reputation there.

Varkaok Elfslayer
Orc fighter from near Thay. Varkaok was an NPC/henchman of Darius Whiteplume. He is very large, even for an orc. While on a mission near Thay, Darius befriended the orc, and Varkaok became his bodyguard. His loyalty to Darius is unquestionable. In my story he is a highly trained fighter and atypical for an orc.

Darius Whiteplume
Human wizard/bard. Harper. He is in possession of an odd gem, which my old DM really ripped off from the Shard stories. He is also possessor of The Book of Vile Darkness. His life's goal was to destroy the book. In my story he is shown a prophesy of the cataclysm and hopes he can prevent the cataclysm and destroy the book simultaneously.

Arden Ravenclaw
Human druid. My wife's other character. The most powerful character in our party, and one who was the focus of many adventures. In my story Arden is Chosen of Chauntea.

These four travel to Impiltur to face the hobgoblin witch-king who is assaulting Impiltur from the Gray Forrest. He bears the fabled Sword of Impiltur. The party met him at the time of the Starfall, and the outcome is unknown, save that the party members have not been heard from again, and it is rumored that the witch-king has survived the ensuing century through demonic pacts, or perhaps undeath...

The Song Stuck in My Head

I neglected to add Melissa to my "Defenders of my Faith" section of my Equinox/Passover/Easter post. This really was an error.

Now, forget the real-world timeline. We are talking about religion here. Real or fake you can't let time-space-continuity to get in the way. That said:

If Dolly Parton is the "Moses" of my religion, and Joan Jett the "Jesus" of it, them Melissa Ethridge is, perhaps the "John the Baptist." Just a thought.

Ethridge is one of the great female rockers because she expresses that great longing and hurt that makes for great rock music. I don't know right now who to compare her to. Maybe if Joan Jett is the female Chuck Berry, then Melissa Ethridge is the female Mick Jagger?

Nerd Girl of Note #30

This week we have model, performer, and Twitter friend, Darla Crane. I must admit to not having known of her before I became Twittdicted™. She posts some great, funny stuff. She has actually responded to one of my Tweets (take that, Kat Dennings! :-)

Miss Crane has quite a bit of the nerd (or geek, if you prefer) to her. How many of us have a George Perez picture of them as a superhero? If your name is not Dick Grayson, Diana Prince, or Clark Kent chances are you don't. Check her out sometime.

• Home Page
  
• Twitter
  
• Twitpic

That is http://www.socuteurl.com/jiffyboo, by the way.



Hey, I didn't say we were discussing the Egyptian government's mixed feelings about not aiding Palestine and thereby causing themselves to be a bit of a pariah in the Muslim world. This is Twitter. Also, those shark do fucking rock.

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Darla as Elvira, MotD


Darla as Spellbinder, by George Perez

!! UPDATE!!