TV at the Whiteplume residence...

While watching Big Bang Theory...

Darius: "I hate to be crass, but Kaley Cuoco has almost magical breasts."

Arden: "Really?"

Darius: "I mean look at how perky they are, bra-less in that top."

Arden: "I don't think they are that great."

Oh well. What do I know?

Battle in the Gray Forest

Here is a bit of D&D story background for a game I hope to start. Some of the text has been posted here previously, but has been cleaned up a bit. Check it out here.

But Prince Wasn't Even In It!?!

I saw Harry Potter this weekend. I cannot say I was looking forward to it. The last three books are in many ways my least favorite, but then in some ways my most favorite. Funny how the mind works, innit?

Like it or not, I do not remember this book at all, aside from the death of... Wait, everyone knows, right? Better not say.

I think this was the best adaptation yet. I enjoy the HP movies, but am not mad for them. They are fun, and this one is no exception, except that it is very dark. I am glad for that because the final books are dark, and I was always more of an A Series of Unfortunate Events kind of guy.

Best part(s) of the movie? This may sound weird, but there were not any stupid looking magical creatures. No house elves, centaurs, or any of that campy stuff. Also, you really got the impression that Voldemort was/is a sociopath. The scenes of his youth were very well protrayed by the young Hero Fiennes-Tiffin and Frank Dillane.

Worst part(s) of the movie? I had no idea who some of the people were. There was some Sabertooth looking baddie, and I didn't know Lavender Brown was Lavender Brown until almost the end of the film (Jessie Cave is a hottie, BTW). Also, my beloved Luna Lovegood was hardly in it, and seemed very stiff.

Final verdict: Needed more Hermione, but was very enjoyable. Bring tissues.

Serendipity, perhaps?

True Story Time.

Friday, I checked my Twitter Account and saw I had 163 followers, and was following 163 people. Weird.

Later, I had to set up two computers. Not only were they already setup without my knowledge, I placed them at random in the correct place. Weird.

I don't believe in luck, but was thinking only a fool would not buy a lottery ticket today.

I buy a $5 scratch off. I win $5.

A totally weird day, but pleasant.

Day Three: Douche Baiting

The first two days of Douche Baiting on Twitter were very interesting. After 21 posts I had 21 followers. Not all posts attracted the robots, as some posts attracted more than one. Typical Tweets were things like "I want to refinance my mortgage" or I need the coolest ringtones."

I did lose 3 followers, so roughly 15% of people using robots actually do look at who they are following. This is a positive result, adding to the douchery of the other 85%.

Today we begin with single word Tweets, the first being "income." Typically I will not post another Tweet until my follower count changes, I may have to modify this protocol since it is possible that some words will attract no one.

You can follow my Adventures in Douche Baiting here.

Cheapskate Hardware

In general, I am not what you would call frugal or tight with my money except in one arena: home entertainment. I do not own a stereo, I have a $20 Phillips DVD player, and just recently got an LCD TV (I lived with the buzzing sound the old CRT TV made for the last eight years or so).

Well, while cruising through Wal-Mart, looking for a USB hub, I found these little beauties for $24:


At times I'll run my laptop into the TV, but need speakers. My old Altec Lansings were not cutting it sound-wise, plus I wanted them back on the desktop PC. These Altec Lansings are small and have great sound.

My new favorite sport: Douche Baiting

If you use Twitter, you probably get annoyed by all the TwitSPAM followers you get. People using robots, trying to get you to buy shit you don't need. Realtors are the worst. You say "going to the beach" and suddenly some jerk-off is following you who sells beach property. It is exasperating.

So, to keep the nerd in nerdliness, I decided to do a little sociology experiment. I created a Twitter account, @douchesFollowMe where I post about property, computers, religion, marketing, etc. to see how many followers I can get without following anyone. So far I have posted nine times and have twelve followers. Here was my first post, to give you an idea.


I plan to next just start posting buzzwords like "marketing" or "bible" and likely some company names. I may be belligerent eventually, just to see what happens, but for now I am just throwing my line out.

BTW: "Mike Huntiges" is not my name, it is a childish play on words. :-)

Fiction's Finest Nerds #23

Max Fischer is one of those very special nerds, and one after my own heart. He is driven to greatness, but unfortunately is not very skilled in anything. He was accepted to Rushmore Academy on a scholarship, and receives terrible grades, but is leading the pack in extra-curricular activities. In high school his role does him no good, and unfortunately he will likely not understand the role suited for him; he is a facilitator. He can inspire greatness in others, but will never acheive it publicly for himself. I am like that. I took a career profile test recently which said I should be an ombudsman. "WTF?" I said. I am almost forty, and had no idea what that means. Basically it is a cheerleader, an advocate. That is what I do, just not for a living. I may have missed the train. I hope Max did not.

The New D&D Game

Well, @tas33 and I just played our first D&D session this weekend with a new group. This very difficult for many of us. Meeting a new group of gamers is like going on a blind date. In some ways it is worse, as you can choose to not go out with someone again, but after five hours of battling the goblin horde, they need you next week! How else will they get to Spider-Skull Island without you? Your the tank, man!

Well, I am happy to say that despite our advanced years (mine more than @tas33's), we got along nicely. It is a good group, but likely will be breaking up soon. All are either military and leaving, or soon-to-be ex-military and going back to where they came from (if you know Fayetteville, you'd understand).

The party is a touch on the evil side, but they don't play like 12 year-olds play evil. Here's what we have.

Shaddar-Kai Sword-Mage. Kind of evil, as their nature tends to make them so.

Drow Rogue (male). The guy playing him is big on the Salvatore books, and is good at being a male drow. Evil, but opportunistic enough to not make enemies at every turn.

Ranger (forget the race). Least talkative. Female gamer. Good player.

@tas33 - Longtooth Shifter Druid - she loves druids as a rule, but is new to 4e.

me - Dragonborn Cleric of the Raven Queen. Fire breath weapon, 18 STR. Shaddar-Kai worship the Raven Queen, so this is the first time I have played a cleric where another player was part of my cult.

D&D 4e Revisited

Well, I have finally played Fourth Edition D&D again. This was my second time. @tas33 played this time as well. Here is a renewed impression.

I think I know why many old schoolers are against 4e: it is fun.

Pretend you are playing 1st or 2nd edition D&D, and you roll up a 1st level Magic-User (yes, that is what Wizards were called BitD). Your party gets in its first fight. For you, it goes something like this:

DM: "Darius, it is your attack."

DW: "I cast magic missile!"

DM: "The physically challenged kobold goes after Darius. He is armed with a plastic spoon. Darius, what do you do?"

DW: "I am out of spells, have 2 hit points, and a 10 armor class... I run screaming."

See, in older versions of D&D, many classes had to gain levels before they were any use what-so-ever. Hell, in Basic D&D Clerics did not even get spells until 2nd level. Now, if you were a fighter, ranger, paladin, barbarian, or thief (rogue for those of you in your twenties), you had hit points and armor, and your weapon can be used every turn.

In 4e, you still need to know your role, and your limitations, but each class has enough power at 1st level to contribute throughout the encounter. The Wizard will not deal nor absorb damage like the fighter, but you have at-will spells that let you attack each round.

The classes and powers also let you pick a role that suits your desires and skills. Here is something you should know about me. I roll 4s, always. Every time. You will never hear "does a 4 hit it?" more times than in a game session with me. However, there are classes where my tactical sense does not help me deal damage, but helps my allies. I am seriously considering playing a warlord soon. That will be my new class of choice, I believe.

So, if you are against 4e, you really should look into it. I have been playing since Basic/Expert, and have never had as much fun playing since 1st edition as I have had in 4e. If you like 3/3.5e - 4e is is much better. I understand you have $300 in 3e and 3.5e books and are reticent to give them up, but you just might want to. I'm just sayin'.

Mora Thora

Big ups to BookSteve for expanding the previous Thora Birch post. I am surprised I was not aware of the porn connection. Thora's mother is Carol Connors, who was in Deep Throat, which in my book makes you porn royalty. Her father is Jack Birch (unsure if the last name is a "wood" reference).

via Flickr
While looking the parents up, I noticed an upcoming film mention. It looks like we should be seeing Thora being nerd-friendly again in Cavegirl, a film adaptation of the BBC show.


Two hundred thousand years ago, teenage girls wanted the same as teenage girls do today, teenage boys! However one amongst them shunned such basic instincts. She wasn't into teenage clubs, teenage music, teenage fashions. She had more important things on her mind. She had battles to fight, wars to win, evil to conquer. She's young, she's fierce. And it's a shame she doesn't care about fashion 'cause she's got great legs. She's Cavegirl. The new teen movie adapted from hit BBC television series.
—Written by Daniel Peacock (via IMDb)

Nerd Girl of Note #40

I have had a thing for Thora Birch ever since I saw Ghost World. She did a great job of taking Enid, the character you are supposed to like, and giving her qualities that you will not like. Sure, the writing has something to do with that, but believability comes from the actress. Ultimately you like Enid, warts and all.

Oh, and she was in that [cough]Dungeons & Dragons[cough!] movie.

BTW: If you have not seen Ghost World, please do so. I don't endorse too many films as "must sees" — this is one.

How Do I Do It?

I am not going to say I am the coolest uncle in the world. I'll let you judge for yourself. Exhibit A:


The defense rests.

My nephew is turning three, and that is the minimum suggested age for the, in many ways, best of all toys. The Tonka Dump Truck. If you did not have one of these around as a child, I weep for you. This is a fantastic toy regardless of your sex or preference. Yes it can get that load of blocks to the new build-site in the hallway, but with a little imagination can be a snazzy yellow convertible for Barbie.

True story: as we walked through Wal-Mart with me holding this, a 4 year-old (or so) sitting in a cart while his mom picked out flip-flops stared at me for my entire approach. After I passed he made a sound of yearning. He, at that moment, wanted that Tonka truck more than anything in the world. Well tough, little man. Get yourself a better uncle! :-)

Premature Book Review: The Nymphos of Rocky Flats

Mario Acevedo's vampire Felix Gomez is a veteran who was turned into a vampire in Baghdad. This is the first in a series of several books featuring Gomez with apparently more provocative titles than text.

Oh, there are nymphomaniacs in Rocky Flats, but this is hardly a dirty book. Rocky Flats is a Department of Energy facility where something odd is going on. An unexplained incident effected several women doing a pre-demolition survey of an old building. Whatever it was caused extreme sexual urges, but it appears to be at least in part supernatural. Felix Gomez, now a private detective, has been hired to investigate, and finds his unlife to be threatened.

The book is not bad. It is an enjoyable read, but if you are not into new-fangled vampires, you will want to avoid this. There is a lot of vampire "science" and "vampires don't really need to" kind of stuff. Old school vampire fans will likely be offended. If you enjoy new-fangled vampires, sci-fi, fringe-y, X-Files kind of mysteries, give it a try.

Nerd Girl of Note #39

Here is one you might not know. A few clues:

• Raven from Teen Titans
  
• Illyana Rasputin from X-Men
  
• Barbara Gordon from The New Batman Adventures
  
• Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls
  
• Timmy Turner from Fairly Odd Parents

Got it yet? No?

It's Tara Strong! Duh?!?

Well, not "duh." She has done a ton of voice acting for cartoons and video games, as well as live action acting. You should see her IMDb credits. Ben 10, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Drawn Together, Chowder. The list goes on and on. She's probably been on your favorite recent cartoon and you didn't even know it. Now you know, and... Well, she wasn't on that. Though if they do a new cartoon after the movie, I can see her being in it.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #22

We go back to the spoof super well today with Adam Warren's Empowered.

As a young girl she dreamed of being a superheroine, then one day received a hypermembrane that gave her super powers!

Oh, and she can't wear anything under it (like, uh, underwear) or over it (like a cape) or it malfunctions. Plus, she has body issues. Besides that, she is not very good at being a superhero and typically is found trussed up like Robin in a Golden Age Batman comic. Also, as her hypermembrane deteriorates (which happens easily) she loses her powers in kind.

It's a bit of a T&A comic, though I've seen no nudity in it. It pokes a lot of fun at comics in general, but specifically where the female form and costume are concerned. For the most part it is a lot of fun. Little snippets of superhero parody, only a few pages long. Very Manga-y art, but not a Manga-y comic (too much).

See more at Deviant Art.

Updates, News, Welcomes

Hey, everyone!

Finally at the end of a four day weekend. Hope to get back to some normal blogging schedule soon. Thanks for your patience.

Welcome to all the new followers. As always, feel free to comment.

Two updates. First is little. The boss will be out for surgery. No idea how long. In his absence, I get to wear the big hat. Hopefully this will mean more time at my desk, pushing my co-workers to do my bidding (which sounds better, "henchmen" or "minions"?) - unfortunately that just isn't my style :-(

The big news is I got accepted into a graduate "program" (a certificate, rather than an M.A, though it is the intro to the M.A.). Professional Communication and Technical Writing. Did I mention this already?

Hopefully I'll crank out a movie post, and maybe a "Favorite Album" again shortly while deciding on a "Finest Nerd" and NGoN for this week. Until then, may the farce be with you :-)

Nerd Girl of Note #38

Fantastic Voyage, One Million Years B.C., and a two episode stint on Mork & Mindy might be enough to get you some nerd cred. Raquel Welch is also an international movie star and sex symbol who has also done other nerd-friendly work.

1967's Fathom has Welch as a stunt parachutist who gets involved in some espionage a la the "Flint" or "Matt Helm" movies of the time. It is a comedic action/spy movie that is a good bit of retro fun. Next she appeared in 1967's Bedazzled, which featured her as Lillian Lust "the babe with the bust" - one of the Devil's Seven Deadly sins.

Most notably, to me, she stared in 1970's Myra Breckinridge, based on the infamous Gore Vidal novel. This was a role that could have been difficult on a career, as Welch would be playing a gay man who had sex change and rapes a young man with an... well "implement." Mae Westappears in the film, and apparently was quite beligerent to Welch, refusing to appear in scenes with her. An scenes with both were shot separately. West apparently said that no woman with any respect would play such a role. This is somewhat odd since there is some argument that West was a drag queen; most notably from John Wayne.

Her other nerd friendly credits are too numerous to name here. You can check her out on the IMDb for a full list.

Late, but Happy Canada Day!

To all my Canadian friends, Happy Canada Day. Arden and I celebrated briefly with faux poutine made with vegetarian gravy and cheddar cheese on the fries, and Michelob Ultra, as the grocery had no Canadian beer at all and Arden likes Mic Ultra. Molson Canadian is my favorite beer but is impossible to get in Fayetteville. We had one grocery and one bar that had it. The grocery stopped carrying it, and the bar burned down.

My first Canadian experience (of sorts) was seeing the Montreal Expos at Cincinnati. Tony Pérez was playing for Montreal, though he was a member of the famous Big Red Machine. We were a few rows behind the visitor dugout, and Pérez came out to sign autographs in the seventh inning stretch. I'm from Cinci, so I was a Cinci fan, but the Expos were now a close second.

Next as a kid, and this is a bit silly, a friend and I made a base or our Star Wars figures. This was during the Iranian hostage crisis and Canada had played some role we were impressed with (sorry, it is too late to look it up) so we called the base "Fort Canada."

Third, our oft-discussed trip to Toronto last year was one of my favorites. As of now, Toronto and Chicago are in a heated fight to be my favorite city. Sorry to hear the strikes messed up a lot of the celebrations in the Big Smoke this year.

That's all for now. Again, happy Canada Day!

Favorite Albums: "Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea" (2000, Island)

This was another introductory album of sorts. I had heard PJ Harvey before, but had not heard of her. NCSU's radio station used to play Down by the Water, but it was not until I saw the video for This is Love that I knew who she was. I ran out and immediately bought the CD.

It is a great moody album. It has this brooding overtone, even in joyful songs like Good Fortune. Harvey's music has a hard edge, and the album does not feel over-produced.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #21

A chubby, uncoordinated, collectible freak who seems to be in mid-puberty does not scream "ace henchman" to me, but Henchman 21 is one of The Monarch's top men.

What #21 lacks in henching skills, he makes up for in invulnerability. Not even the great Brock Samson has killed him off. His one shining moment was when he actually killed the Venture brothers. He is also in love with The Monarch's wife, Mrs. Dr. Girlfriend (or whatever they started calling her). Season three showed us that he has no idea how his henchman gear actually works. He is the last thing we see before the credits in the end of season three, holding the severed head of his partner, Henchman 24.

Dude! I am so dying to see season four. Seriously!