Scary Movies: The Vampire Lovers (1970)

The original Hammer entry features the incomparable Ingrid Pitt as Carmilla Karnstein.

I have not seen this one in a long time, but it is quite a good entry in the vampire canon. The titillation of lesbian vampires aside, it examines the psyche of the vampire as Carmilla finds love only to lose it, like Dracula, because of their nature.

If you are a vampire movie fan, this is one of the few I put on my must-see list. It is not the greatest vampire film, but is iconic and likely the best in the niche of sexy vampire films.

Scary Movies: Twins of Evil (1971)

The second of the Karnstein films is easily my favorite: Twins of Evil.

This film features Mary and Madeleine Collinson as two girls who lose their parents and must leave Vienna to live in a backwater town under the care of their religious nutbag and witch-finder-general uncle, played beautifully by Peter Cushing. He in no way approves of the girls, or any girls really, and hopes to make an example of local libertine and future vampire Count Karnstein.

The Collinson twins are fairly notorious Maltese born Harrison Marks protegés and the first twin Playboy Playmates (October 1970). They are identical, but do a surprising job of being identifiable. One is prim and scared of her lunatic uncle, the other is wild and desires nothing more than to be with the virile Count Karnstein.

In this film Count Karnstein is my favorite vampire ever. Damien Thomas plays him like Adam Ant playing the Marquis de Sade playing a vampire. He is arrogant and haughty, decadent and degenerate, beautiful and foul. All due respect to the Collinson's beauty, Damien Thomas is the reason to see this film.

Scary Movies: Lust for a Vampire (1971)

There were three films in the Hammer Horror "Karnstein Trilogy" based on Sheridan le Fanu's Carmilla.

This is a late horror entry for Hammer, and features actors they hoped would be the studio's future, including Yutte Stensgaard as Mircalla.

This film falters at times, particularly with the inclusion of a pop song that seems terribly out of place in this Gothic tale. Despite taking place in a girl's boarding school, the film is far less hot that its predecessors, though they provide stiff [ahem] competition. Probably the best parts of the film are the Karnstein family, who make the occasional (often silent) appearance, and look so much like a family of vampires you wonder why anyone let their daughter into the school in the first place.

If you are a completist and have seen the other two films, this one is worth watching. Otherwise, grab a grain of salt, and feast your eyes on an oddly beautiful, if slightly confusing, vampire film.

Moooo!

So, it looks like minotaurs are a player race now in 4e D&D.


Immediately reminded me of this DING! comic:


I did actually have a minotaur character in 1st edition AD&D, but that was a whole homebrew NPC that the DM turned over to me. Too many races, perhaps...?

Brad Elterman on Tumblr

If any of you are big '70s and '80s music fans, you should check out Brad Elterman's Tumblr. It is full of his photography, and has a lot of candid/off-cuff pics of some real legends. It is a lot of fun. Here is a new favorite: Joan Jett and Sandy West from The Runaways.

"Hello... Is somebody there?"

Back in April at Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire, Empress Kate pointed out a fun little DVD that I had to pull out last night. Experiments in Terror 3 is a collection of short independent films, my favorite of which is "Terror" by Ben Rivers.

"Terror" is a compilation of clips from old slasher movies that is interesting in two regards. 1) you get to guess which movie a clip is from, and 2) you get to see how formulaic the genre is. I remember hearing Quentin Tarantino wanted to make Death Proof a slasher-type film, but said slasher movies are the most formulaic films, with the possible exception of Women in Prison films, and you cannot break from the formula. That may be true, but a good slasher movie is still good, and this compilation shows how these films progress and builds great tension in the viewer. If you can get you hands on this one, it is worth it for a fun/scary 20+ minutes.

Scary Movies: Scars of Dracula (1970)

For me, there is one true Dracula, and that is Christopher Lee. I like Lugosi, sure, but for pure, unadulterated, unapologetic, evil in your Dracula, you have to go with Lee FTW.

Now, Scars of Dracula is likely not the best Lee entry, but it was my first and has the scariest Dracula image I have ever seen - Lee, wielding a knife and killing a victim in a brutal fashion. This is the most cold-blooded scene I know of, next to Jack Napier's killing of Shari Eubank in Super-Vixens (don't laugh, that one is horrific).

If you love Lee as Dracula and have not seen this one, seek it out. If you like your vampires evil and chilly, seek it out. You won't be (very) disappointed.

No Princess Here

Three things have sparked this little post.

1. I just returned from a Disney cruise.
2. I have two nieces, one of which is all about the Disney princesses.
3. Calvin's post on the change to Tinkerbell.

While I agree with Kal, I was reminded of something. The forgotten "princess" — Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.


Why is she never included in the Princess canon? True, she was not a princess, but I think it goes further since you could argue she was a gypsy princess. I think it is because she was sexy and self reliant. Frankly, Hunchback is a fairly forgotten movie. Quasimodo doesn't really click with the girls or boys, and there was that whole by the fireplace masturbation song (watch it sometime...).

I would hope my nieces would be more Esmeralda than Cinderella, but I am not sure how that will go. Maybe I should get the oldest one of these:

Scary Movies: Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971)

Based on the Bram Stoker story Jewel of the Seven Stars, Hammer brings us Blood from the Mummy's Tomb featuring yesterday's Andrew Keir, and the lovely and talented Carry-On, Bond Girl, and Nerd Girl of Note #18 Valerie Leon.

This is the story of an archeologist, well several archeologists, who discover the tomb of Queen Tera in Egypt. Queen Tera was put to death in a not-so-nice fashion, and her hand cut off. The hand lived on, and through the Queen's ring, possessed the body of Valerie Leon.

This one is a wonderful little creepy movie. Not so much blood and guts, but terror and intrigue. There are several players, and it is hard to tell who is the bad guy (apart from the dead, evil Queen, 'natch).

Aside from the lovely Ms Leon, James Villiers (The Wrong Box, Repulsion, "The Avengers" and "The Saint") as the smarmy Dr. Corbeck is very good. He has that perfect mix of effete and dangerous that makes a great upper-class English villain.

If you want something a little different from Hammer, this is a great way to go. No Peter Cushing, and no Christopher Lee, but a fun little horror movie.


Valerie Leon in the Queen Tera costume.

Special shout out to Cory's Crappy Cinema.

Scary Movies: Quatermass and the Pit (1967)

Hammer was not just a horror movie house, they did their share of fantasy and sci-fi as well. The best sci-fi I saw from them was Quatermass and the Pit (1967).

Quatermass stars Hammer regulars Andrew Kier (Blood from the Mummy's Tomb, The Viking Queen, Dracula Prince of Darkness), and Barbara Shelley (Dracula Prince of Darkness, Rasputin the Mad Monk, The Gorgon), as well as James Donald (Bridge on the River Kwai).

During subway renovation workers uncover a skeleton and what they believe to be a WWII German missile, it is determined that the object is in fact an alien craft. When the scientists and workers start tampering with the ship, strange things happen. Eventually the craft transmits a dangerous psychic attack on the people of London.

This film is a tad cheesey, but lovers of Hammer will enjoy it greatly. The film creates a wonderful sense of paranoia, and the climax, while ham-handed at times, is disturbing. This one makes for excellent Halloween viewing, if you can get hold of it.

You should check out...

The wife's latest obsession is: The People of Wal-Mart. A look at Americans in their purest form... Their Wal-Mart form.

Fortunately, the site focuses on the customer. I have seen some doozies of employees too, but I hate to give them grief. It also makes me feel good seeing that the rest of the country is as completely ghetto/trailer-park as my little burg.

Nerd Girl of Note #44

Sasha Grey. Played a "Vulcan" once, and really, is there anything nerdier than this picture?

Bowling for Boobies

No, no, no. It just sounds tacky. Bowling for Boobies is a breast cancer assistance program to aid those diagnosed with their medical bills. A good internet friend of mine and Nerd Girl of Note #30, Darla Crane is participating this year and needs a bit under $300USD to meet her goal of $1000. You can donate here.

I try not to ask for much on this blog, and I don't do any advertising. This is my second call for donations, IIRC, and I completely understand how shitty the economy is. I just want to put this out there. If you have a few bucks you could throw Ms Crane's way, it would be appreciated. I'm not getting any compensation, I just think she's a great chick.

Think of it as buying me a beer, if you want. Every $5 helps.


Darla Crane dressed as Elvira

How Numerically Beastly!

Post #666
Not that it matters to an Atheist, save that it bothers some people, and I was into Sabbath before I knew I was an Atheist. That part of me would not let this post be about cornflakes or some-such.

Totally Random: Rethinking Madonna

Some of you may remember a while back that I mentioned my holy trinity (Dolly Parton, Joan Jett, and Björk) and how I was quite upset with Madonna. I had recently seen Madonna on a British talk show where she declared that much of her music's content was decided for her, and that she did not really mean a lot of it, but hoped to sell records with sex and scandal. This bothered me as through the Reagan/Bush era Madonna was the biggest voice against the religious right. She bothered them to no end, yet controlled things enough to remain popular. Many artists went too far fighting the PMRC and other groups, seriously damaging their careers; Ice-T for example with his excellent "Freedom of Speech" album, and the Ice-T fronted Body Count song "Cop Killer." Madonna lived to piss in their cornflakes another day.

I guess it all comes down to getting old and perhaps feeling the world has passed you by. At 51, it is difficult for Madonna to be anything but a mentor type figure. When your first album is twenty-six years old it can be difficult to seem relevant, and sometimes revising your history seems like an option. This is a shame, as Madonna is responsible for some of pop musics most memorable moments. Starting with her performance of "Like a Virgin" on the VMAs, she became an important part of the Video Music Awards, and often the most talked-about performer. The video for "Like a Prayer" garnered more unnecessary religious ire than most any video and lost her an endorsement from Pepsi... Then her Sex book, Truth or Dare "documentary," and the "Justify My Love" video caused a huge stir. The last really outrageous thing I have seen from her is the video for "What It Feels Like for a Girl" (2002) — a highly disturbing and thoroughly entertaining video that was banned by MTV.

There is a lot of talk comparing Lady Gaga to Madonna, and I think it is appropriate. Lady Gaga seems to be bringing Madonna out a bit, much better than the failed attempts to pass her torch to Britney Spears or Christina Aguillera. Lady Gaga is more interested in pushing boundaries and making art than the other two, and is more in the early Madonna mold.

I am going to hope Madonna was being funny about her past, but regardless I am going to give her the credit she is due whether she wants it or not. Her music and persona told us that sex was not dirty, that it was okey to be who you are, and that AIDS was not some sort of divine retribution. She was an important figure during a scary time, and I don't plan on forgetting it.

While we are on the subject...

Candy is the most important aspect of Halloween, at least for one who attaches no religious significance to it ("blessed be" to any of you who do). I don't like to be all preachy, but I would like to share some of my basic, if poorly informed, candy rules.

First, since I don't eat meat with feet, anything with gelatin ist verbotten. Not only is it a problem for vegetarians, gelatin is not kosher. Most any soft candy like Starburst or the dreaded candy corn will have gelatin, and of course all of the "gummi" candies. There are gelatin free alternatives if you know where to look. Try Cosmo's Vegan Shoppe if you are really interested. I buy online from them all the time. You can also see Elvira's Halloween Treats list at PETA.

Second, I don't buy anything from the M&M/Mars company. I know I have mentioned this before, so I won't go into it, but they do animal testing. On chocolate. Really? Hershey's does not, so buy their chocolate.

That's all. Now I gotta figure out where to hide the candy until Halloween...

The Halloween Spirit

Thus far, I have not really caught the bug. Halloween is still my favorite holiday, in theory, but less so in practice. I hate to say it, but Giftmas is starting to make a good run at me.

Some reasons Halloween is falling behind:

1. It has been three years since I had more than two trick-or-treaters.
2. I am lousy at picking costumes, and really don't like wearing them (though I make a perfect "Fred" from Scooby-Doo).
3. I get a little ticked at all the "Harvest Festival" non-sense.

Some reasons Giftmas is catching up:

1. I have neices and nephews, some of whom are getting old enough to be interesting.
2. Both sides of the family want to do things for Giftmas.
3. Cookie Parties!

Halloween, I love you, but you gotta give me something this year. I bought my nieces, nephews, and the neighbor girl crayons to go with their candy (good Crayola 24 packs), and promise to buy good candy, and lots of it. I'll dress up as something, and even post a pic on this here blog.

While I'm here, big welcome to all the new followers and subscribers. Last I looked we had 190 people interested in my little corner of the web. Between Blogger, Facebook, and RSS feed subscribers, I can't keep up with you all. Feel free to comment, and happy Halloween!

"If you ain't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin'!"

I was/am a fan of the Dead Milkmen, TSOL, Agent Orange and other artists who were on Enigma records. Lots of their stuff is hard to find now that Enigma is out of business. There is luck if you are a Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper fan. All there stuff is free to download from Amazon! [update: this is for a few weeks, according to Mojo's website]

It might not be all their stuff, but everything Amazon has is free to download (save a few things that are not his albums).

Now, Mojo is not for everyone. A lot of his songs are ridiculous, and a lot are politically charged. But a lot of them are filthy. If you are timid, maybe just try some of the Elvis-themed songs. The more adventurous can go to "Lousiana Liplock" and "Vibrator Dependent" and finally, the most offensive one I have heard, and one of my favorites, "Tie My Pecker to My Leg."

Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper

• Mojo & Skid
• Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper/Get Out of My Way
• Frenzy
• Bo-Day-Shus!!!
• Root Hog or Die
• Unlimited Everything (a "Best Of" collection)

Solo

• Otis
• Whereabouts Unknown
• Live at the Casbah
• Whiskey Rebellion

There is other stuff too. Click here to see his artist link.

BTW: You do need an Amazon account and download their Downloader... both of which are free.

October...

I have always loved October. For one thing, my birthday is in October, but I also love fall. Fall is typically just-right cold for me. I call it "football weather" even though I don't like football.

Oh, and there is Halloween/Samhain too. Unfortunately we have not had kids trick-or-treat for the last three years. We have one kid in our neighborhood, so I'll likely get her a toy as well as good candy. Maybe a toy for her dog too.

Speaking of that, I try to do gifts at Halloween rather than the traditional judeo-xtian gift-fest in December. It has not caught on yet. I get my wife gifts every Halloween, and she invariably asks, "oh, are we doing that?" Well heads-up, babe. We are doing that! At least I am ;-)

I am trying to get in the mood for the big day. I'm looking forward to all the Halloween goodies on you blogs. Doing anything special you want to plug? Post in the comments.

I have a confession to make...

I carry a purse. Well, sort of. It's a "messenger bag" in common parlance, but I am willing to admit it. I carry a purse.

I don't like to be encumbered. I don't wear a watch. I don't wear any jewelry - not even my wedding ring. I don't like things in my pockets. I have a cellphone, wallet, Kindle, sunglasses, work keys, home keys, thumb drives, mp3 player, hand sanitizer, lotion, pens, pencils, lip balm... I gotta tell you, all that shit is not going in my pockets.

I am unapologetic about it. I have a bag for work, and I have a cooler/smaller bag for weekends. I did not care that they are all messenger bags until this weekend. We went to the opera (Verdi's Rigoletto) and we decided to dress up. Well, none of my messenger bags goes with a charcoal suit (or any suit, really), so I spent the day with all my shit in my pockets, as well as some of the wife's bulkier shit, as her purse had to be small. I do not dress up that often, but I decided I need a basic black bag that will carry my stuff when a messenger bag will not suffice. Unfortunately I can only find messenger or "urban" bags...

Men of America, stop being so fucking suburban. It is far more logical to put your stuff in a bag, no matter what you call it, than to hang everything off your belt, or buy those stupid multi-pocket pants. Carrying a purse does not make you want to suck a dick. It's just sensible. Get over your fears of what others think, and the fears of those latent homosexual urges you have suppressed since that time at camp. Think of it this way - it's more stuff you can buy, and it can be bling too.

As for now, I guess I'll keep my place ahead of the curve, and just go to Macy's and find something suitable.