Monday, July 5, 2010

Fan-Boy Icon #18

If you asked me who the most well known face in my personal movie history is, I would have to say Udo Kier. Kier shows up all over the place, starting with 1966's The Road to San Trop├ęz. He's in Mark of the Devil, The Story of O, Suspiria, My Own Private Idaho, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Johnny Mnemonic, Barb Wire, Blade, Dancer in the Dark... [huff huff...] Need I go on? He's voiced a Justice League as The Music Master. The IMDb list 190 acting credits, six of which are in production. He even put out a song, "Der Adler" in the '80s.



We have to talk more about Flesh for Frankenstein here. To me, this film, along with Paul Morrissey's Dracula are the films that really launched his icon status. Spoilers ahead, though nothing is really a surprise.

Kier plays an over-the-top Baron Frankenstein, a man who is married to his sister, abhors sex, and is out to create the perfect Serbian super race. He and pervy sidekick Otto hunt down villagers with perfect Serbian features. He needs a male head with a) the perfect Serbian nose, and b) a lustful nature. He decides to go to a local whorehouse, wait outside and find his man. He finds the horndog he is looking for, but mistakenly thinks he wants the horndog's friend. The friend is going to become a monk, but if he is not supposed to be gay then I am Lady Gaga. So, the horndog becomes the wife/sister's servant, the gay head goes on the monster. The horndog bangs the wife/sister, the gay monster refuses to have sex with the female monster. Horndog realizes his friend is the monster, tries to kill the Baron. Monster kills almost everybody. Horndog survives, only to fall prey to the Frankenstein children who are of a sociopathic bent.



While I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, it is... bad. It has a great look. For the first five minutes you'd think you were watching a Hammer Horror film. Locations, costumes, sets; all are great. The dialogue, however... Lets forget for a moment that we have a ton of ESL speakers and one guy from Pensecola with a Brooklyn accent. This is a talky film. Kier is virtually drowning in exposition. He spends so much time describing what will happen, did happen... sometimes what is happening. Anything they found too difficult or expensive to shoot they had Kier describe. The film is bloody and full of animal organs. I believe I have read (perhaps via Tenebrous Kate?) that the organs sat around all day, and Kier was having to handle them while they stunk of rot.

The Baron and the Baroness provide the best dialogue. The Baroness (Monique van Vooren, Batman (tv), Tarzan and the She-Devil) has lots of haughty dialogue, and at times seems to not give a damn about anything. Kier is often doing a Helmut Berger impression, throwing fits and screaming in borderline English. The Baron says things you'd never think you'd hear in a film, such as, "To know death, Otto, you have to fuck life. In the gall bladder." Seriously, is there a more out there line in movie history?

So, if you have seen nothing with Udo Kier, you should. You can see The End of Violence on Fancast, or find some streamers on Netflix. Finally, see if you notice him in this Eve video for "Let Me Blow Ya Mind."


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