March is Buck Rogers Month!

Doing yet another stream of related post for March, each related to Buck Rogers in the 25th Century! Our Fan-Boy Icons, Fiction's Finest Nerds, and Nerd Girls of Note will all have a Buck Rogers tie-in.


If you have never seen the 1979-1981 episodes of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, you really should watch a few. You can watch the series on Fancast here. They were this bizarre segue between disco and the 1980s of legend. This was a time of flux in America, years when we saw M's "Pop Muzik," Devo's "Whip It," and Gary Numan's "Cars" on the charts, and soon would have The Clash in the top 40. We were still reeling from Star Wars and the return of Star Trek in big screen form. ABC had thrown down the gauntlet with Battlestar Galactica in 1978, CBS with Jason of Star Command was 1978 as well, and NBC countered with the slightly whimsical, and far sexier Buck Rogers and friends. The other factor was the coming of the Space Shuttle, which was very much like Buck's ship that brought him to the future.

We'll discuss the major characters all month, but a few players to know up front are:

Cpt. William "Buck" Rogers, an American astronaut lost in space. His body frozen and preserved. He was found in the 25th century and revived.

Col. Wilma Deering, Buck's boss/companion. She's of the no-nonsense type.

Princess Ardala, the evil sex-pot from the Draconian Empire, bent on taking over Earth, and getting into Buck's pants.

As you can guess, this was quite the sexual triangle.

I hope you all enjoy the posts, and maybe even the show. :-D

IOC Fail

Thanks to Ghoul Friday for bringing this to my attention in the comments for An Olympics Question. The IOC is preventing women's ski jumping. They are considering allowing women to compete in 2014. Considering.

I don't completely understand Rachel's guest here, but the info in general is pretty good, as is Rachel's argument. Particularly that the IOC argues there are not enough women in the sport, though there are apparently more women ski jumpers than there are ski-cross competitors.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

More at the WSJUSA.

UPDATE

Info on the Canadian Supreme Court and women jumper's lawsuit at OnTheSnow.

Nerd Girl of Note #51

Yet another neglected icon here at AiN. Lucy Lawless.

Like it or not, Xena: Warrior Princess was the best thing to happen to the fantasy genre since Schwarzenegger's Conan the Barbarian. Xena began as a foil in Hercules: the Legendary Journeys, and then went to her own series which ran for six seasons, ranking #2 in the ratings for its final season. Oddly, Lawless did not begin her Hercules/Xena run as Xena. She was in the made-for-tv movie Hercules and the Amazon Women (1994) as Lysia.

Aside from portraying Xena, Lawless has made a serious run at all things nerd-centric. She has appeared in a two-episode The X-Files, a bit part in Spider-man, Burn Notice, as a voice in the D&D video game Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight, as Wonder Woman in Justice League: New Frontiers, Battlestar Galactica, and Spartacus: Blood and Sand as Lucretia.

Photic Sneeze Reflex

Photic Sneeze Reflex apparently effects 18-35% of the world's population, and is most common in Caucasians.

From Wikipedia:

The probable cause is a congenital malfunction in nerve signals in the trigeminal nerve nuclei. The fifth cranial nerve, called the trigeminal nerve, is apparently responsible for sneezes. Research suggests that some people have an association between this nerve and the nerve that transmits visual impulses to the brain. Overstimulation of the optic nerve triggers the trigeminal nerve, and this causes the photic sneeze reflex.

This sneeze reflex can also be brought on by sudden inhalation of cold air or exposure to strong flavors. This implies an overstimulation of any nerve close to the trigeminal nerve can cause the sneeze reflex.

So, if you do it, like I do, you are a freak and a mutant, and that Senator from X-Men is now looking for you. j/k

Are Dragonborn my New Dwarves?

I have been playing 4th Edition D&D for a while now, and as a player have had only two real characters; one I played exactly once, and one I have played for a while now, "Scorch," my dragonborn cleric of The Raven Queen. I am about to start a new game with some of my regular players, and some new guys. My 1st level character is going to be a dragonborn sorcerer.

When I was a kid, I played dwarves. Almost all the time. Dwarven fighters, dwarven thieves, dwarven fighter/thieves (1st Edition AD&D was limited for dwarves). I moved on to gnomes for a while, but that was because they were weird. Now it is all dragonborn. What is it that attracts me?

Well, for one thing I think dragonborn get the two best attribute bonuses, for my style of play. Strength and charisma. I know... Charisma is a throw away stat. Well, not so much any more, and regardless, I always wanted my characters to be a little smooth.

Also, I kind of think of dragonborn as being akin to the Klingons from ST:TNG and beyond. Powerful and noble. I tend to play Scorch as a Klingon. He does not speak much, and he plays fair. Also, for a cleric he has low wisdom, which makes him more a "fist of fate" than a preacher. I have him do missionary work as subtext, but for the most part he is out to crush his cult's enemies.

The sorcerer will be a tad different. I hope to make him a bit troubled. Sorcerers are typically bound to some force or creature for their power. This one will be unwillingly bound to Tiamat, though he will be lawful good. I hope this is interesting, and my DM's views on Tiamat are not by-the-book. Yet, how does good behave when it owes a debt to evil? We shall see.

Sorry to bore some of you with the random D&D post. ;-)

Premature Book Review: To the Devil a Daughter

Now, I did review this movie recently, and decided to get the book. It is... well, different. One must always add salt when dealing with the supernatural, but so far I am having a hard time with this one.

Now, we all know that the girl is possessed by the devil. Obviously. Just as we know Dracula is a vampire and Frankenstein's monster is a flesh golem. These are things you can wrap your head around. What I can't swallow is that seemingly normal people, in a world that is not at all fantastical, are so ready to believe that she is in fact possessed. She could be hypnotized, brainwashed, conditioned... any number of things, but when Molly Fountain, our heroine, throws a crucifix at the girl and she screams... Well, case closed.

Molly is joined by her son John and former wartime compatriot Colonel Verny, or "Conky Bill" (I don't get that one). Fountain and Verny have spent years fighting Satanic cults throughout Europe, and claim that Satanism's elite few are in fact behind global Communism.

Aside from the conspiracy theory, and the all-to-believing cast of characters, it could turn out very well. There is the evil Marquis de Grasse and his son Jules who are white-slavers, there is the suspicious Priest, who certainly will turn out to be the major baddie, and the girl's (Christina, btw) father, who is thus far absent. This has all the makings of a great mystery, it is just the ham-fisted way they get to the Satanic subject matter that troubles me. Granted, this was written in the late 1940's, but there was already a ton of great horror fiction around at this time, and I can't imagine this story not seeming passé, even upon release.

If you like pulp, or mysteries from the days of yore, check this one out. I am a hundred pages into it, and it is readable. I don't plan to give up on it, but it definitely has its flaws. Wheatley's prose is fine and well constructed. In most senses it is a solid novel, just a bit sophomoric.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #31

Some of the best parts of any James Bond movie is his meeting with "Q" — especially when he was played by Desmond Llewelyn. His Q was highly anal-retentive, but he provided a great comedic foil for our hero, especially during the Roger Moore years.

Llewelyn was not the only Quartermaster for James Bond, but is the best known. After his death in 1999 the role was filled by John Cleese as "R" — a nod to his coming after Q.

Aviary Media Editor

I recently came across an online media editor called Aviary. My primary interest was in having a web-based image editor with layers for times when I am away from my personal machine. As you likely know, I enjoy making logos for this blog, and it can be a real pain when I get an idea in my head and cannot work on it due to local computer restraints.

Now, Aviary uses flash to power its editing, as well as some server side processing. I have not used it a great deal yet, but being a Paintshop Pro and The GIMP user I had little trouble getting started. Here is a quick logo I cranked out.


Now, not everything is 100% intuitive. I am used to having tools that are strictly raster (bitmap) or vector based, and due to poor judgment on my part could not figure out how to move text. After a bit more toying around I was able to grasp what I was missing.

There are a few things you need to do. One, to save images you must have an account (you can export without an account, more below). Second, if you do not want the Aviary watermark on your images, you must turn it off in your dashboard. Third, if you want images to be public, you need to figure out how to accomplish that. I have not yet.

Granted, any issues I am currently having are likely due to me not reading the documentation. I am not a reader where technology is concerned. I like things to be simple, and for icons to express what a tool does. In this regard, Aviary is quite good. If you are at all familiar with image editing software you will have little trouble getting started. If MS Paint is your tool of choice, you should definitely take Aviary for a spin. The world of layers will change you forever.

The nice features: You can open an image with its web URL. You can export to your image to your hard drive as a GIF, PNG, JPEG, and TIFF formats. Your work is saved to their server, so no need for thumb drives since it is cloud computing. It is, best of all, free.

Fan-Boy Icon #2

Once in a while, the world can really get you down. Work sucks. Finances bugging you. Your girlfriend ate all the Pizza Rolls. It is at these times I like to remember Weird Al Yankovic is out there pulling for us. Is he really? I don't know, but I like to think so. Why else would he do what he does except to make the world a better place?

One great thing about Weird Al, is that often his parodies are better than the actual song; they certainly have more thoughtful lyrics. Here are my two favorite Weird Al anecdotes. One from him, and one personal.

I have seen (maybe on a VH1 special) Weird Al saying that when he asked Curt Cobain if he could cover Smells Like Teen Spirit, Cobain replied, "it's not going to be about food, is it?" Al replied, that it would be about how no one can understand the lyrics. Cobain approved.

My story. I was in a bar with one of those digital jukeboxes. I played a song, and snuck back to my stool. When the intro to Gansta's Paradise started, several people were loving it, then discovered it was Amish Paradise. Several "aw dammit"s could be heard. I was never so proud of myself.

Personal favorites:

1. White and Nerdy of course.
2. I Love Rocky Road, mostly for the accordion solo.
3. Bedrock Anthem, primarily because the Red Hot Chili Douchebags hate it.
4. Fat is the best stream of fat jokes ever recorded.

Three cheers for Weird Al. His music is great. His videos are awesome. And his Saturday morning show was a riot. Check him out on Twitter.

Prisoner of the Wizard's Harem

I don't do a lot of plugs, but our friend Shon Richards has a book out. I have ordered my copy already. I talk to Shon a lot on Twitter, and he is a smart and funny guy. I am looking forward to reading this one.

From the publisher:

Prisoner of the Wizard's Harem' is an interactive story where you take on the role of Nash Nighthammer. You are sent to rescue Princess Virtue from the harem of a very perverted wizard. Along the way you will have strange sexual relationships with fantastic women, solve dangerous traps and struggle to maintain your masculine dignity.

The novel is organized into choices with an eye towards repeat play. Although there is only one happy ending there are several different ways to reach your goal. It is a perfect book for naughty adventurers of all tastes and genders.

Shon Richards has been writing erotica for over ten years. He has been a fantasy geek for far longer. This book combines his love of fantasy, humor and erotica.

Buy it HERE.

Nerd Girl of Note #50

It is likely that occasionally you think, "what is wrong with Darius? How could he skip X on his Nerd Girl of Note entries?" Well, as I was planning for #50 I thought it needed to be someone important. You know how we all are with round numbers. Well, if this was a wedding anniversary, 50 would be gold, so here is a golden Nerd Girl icon.

What would the world be like without the '70s television show Wonder Woman? It would be a cold dark place. Thank the Invisible Pink Unicorn (blessed be Her holy hooves) that we had Lynda Carter to portray our beloved Amazon so deftly. Lynda Carter is so iconic as Wonder Woman that it has prevented a Wonder Woman movie, as who could live up to Ms. Carter? Megan Fox? I think not.

After Wonder Woman, Lynda stared along side Loni Anderson (WKRP in Cincinnati) in the short-lived Partners in Crime as socialite/detective Carole Stanwyck. It was a misfit comedy with Carter's Stanwyck playing straight to Anderson's Sydney Kovak, a con-artist/pickpocket/jazz bass player (really?); they were both married to the same man, a private detective who was murdered leaving them his business.

Later, Carter did a few "Lifetime" type made-for-tv movies, and some voice work. Her real comeback was as the recurring character Lorraine Dillon on Law & Order and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Dillon was a southern con-woman, who along with her daughter ran afoul of the NYPD.

Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw @ Fancast

Pat Barrington Week: The Agony of Love (1966)

William Rostler's The Agony of Love is basically the same story as Luis Buñel's Belle de Jour. It is the story of a bored housewife whose husband has little time for her. To get some action in her life, Barbara (Pat Barrington) turns to prostitution. The film came out a year before Belle de Jour, and while the latter was a trippy, surrealist film, the former was an exploitation affair for the art-house crowd.

The big difference in the stories is that while Deneuve's "Sevérine" is looking for excitement and falls in love with a dangerous man, Barrington's "Barbara" is filled with self-loathing and wants to be degraded. Now, Sevérine desires degradation too, as witnessed in the dream sequence where her husband hurls manure at her, Barbara is more blatant, and thinks the money she is paid is some affirmation of her worth.

This is Barrington's strongest performance, in my opinion, and while she is not a great actress she does a good job considering her previous work and her background as a stripper. The film is part of a whole genre of bored suburban housewives looking for kicks, like Joe Sarno' Sin in the Suburbs (1964, Audrey Campbell, Dyanne Thorne), and as is typically the case, it ends in tragedy.

An Olympics Question

This happens every two years. The Olympics roll around and the world's premiere athletes finally get to show off. It raises a bit of a mores question for me: are you allowed to think the athletes are sexy? I say yes, and I don't think it lessens my respect for their ability.


Now, obviously there is less skin in the Winter Games, and I'm sure Lindsey Vonn looks a bit heavier than she is with the skintight padding, but still she is a sexy woman. Does this detract from her athleticism? Does this detract from 2010 silver medalist Julia Mancuso's?


Part of what defines sexiness to our primitive brain is health. The reptile in you wants a mate that can bear young or impregnate you, depending on your tendencies. Olympic athletes are typically young and they have physical superiority over most of us, otherwise we'd be Olympians. Great physicality demands symmetry, strength, and conditioning, all of which are keys to our primitive centers; and obviously if you hit the genetic jackpot in so many areas, chances are you will not have a hideous face. The dice just don't roll that way (often).

I often joke that the only sport I watch is Women's Beach Volleyball, which is somewhat true. I prefer it to men's, and I prefer women's tennis to men's. I freely admit that the sexy factor is part of it, but also I find women's sports to often be more about finesse than power. Not that a spike from Misty May wouldn't black my eye, but there is more of a "smart game" feel with the women.


Also, the competitive aspect is different for women's sports. Save for the WNBA, there are few career prospects. Sports can get you to the Olympics, or pay for college, maybe get you a good coaching job, but not into the NFL. These women compete against each other, but there is also a desire to prove that women in general are strong athletes and competitors — this is a generalization, but I have yet to meet a female athlete who would belittle her skill versus her male counterparts.


When informed of Danica Patrick's bid to race NASCAR, Richard Petty remarked:

"I just don't think it's a sport for women. And so far, it's proven out. It's really not. It's good for them to come in. It gives us a lot of publicity, it gives them publicity.

"But as far as being a real true racer, making a living out of it, it's kind of tough."¹

Now, granted, Richard Petty is an old man who won most of his races because Dodge made cars that were so superior horsepower-wise to Ford and Chevy rather than on ability. He is, unfortunately, someone people interested in racing listen to and has a bully pulpit in that realm. NASCAR is the last place where sexual dimorphism should come into play. I'll agree that driving 500 miles is no picnic, and the stress level is certainly high, but to discount women's abilities and to indicate that they are just looking for publicity is exactly the kind of thing holding women's sports back.

Ultimately, I don't care for professional sports. I am not convinced of their economic or societal benefits. I think they have helped cheapen our universities, and frankly they are sexually discriminatory. Even in the Olympics, women and men do not compete directly, and many sports like luge and golf have different start points for female players. I say, if women want to follow Annika Sorenstam's lead and hit from the male tees, let them. If it is a handicap, then it is one they choose to take, and eventually it will push women's athleticism to a point where it is a handicap no longer. Also, when you make men play against that "smart game" it will improve them as well.

Premature Book Review: No Longer Human

This is a story that many may feel they can relate to, though they may not wish to admit it. I will. In many instances, I feel a kinship with Osamu Dazai's pro/antagonist Yozo from No Longer Human. This book is purported to be autobiographical, though the translator notes that it is still fiction enough to be fiction — after all, every story is based on something.

Yozo is a man who feels he is not part of the human race. He is timid and shy, making up for his deficiencies with clowning. His worst fear is that he will be found out. He despises other people, and is filled with a rage he can never express. When others anger him, he tells you what he wants to say, and then follows with what he actually says, which is invariably obsequious or non-confrontational. He descends into a world of sex and alcoholism, taking advantage of women whom are swayed by his façade.

The story follows along the lines of many post-war Japanese coming of age stories as Yozo battles between what he can be, what society wants him to be, and what he desires. The problem is, like many young people, he has no idea what that desire is. Throughout the book he is a man-child who shuns responsibility and is always living off of someone else's labor. This never makes him happy, though, and he is constantly running away from the women in his life who care for him, both tangibly and emotionally, because they are not what he wants.

As a book, it reads very well. I am a slow-ish reader, and have breezed through it thus far. Yozo is in many ways a character you do not want to sympathize with, but it is plain that his problems are serious. He is not evil or malicious, but troubled and perhaps mentally ill. He wants to be his own man, but as in all societies, being your own man is not something you can do without means. The rich can be eccentric, the poor are just crazy, and crazy doesn't play. There is a nice philosophical aspect to the book. It is neither completely Eastern nor Western in its philosophy. There is mention of Christianity, which I find odd, but the philosophical questions are quite universal. Osamu Dazai was from an affluent family, and had access to Western films and literature so his outlook is quite broad for such a closed society.

Osamu Dazai is a very popular author in Japan. He committed suicide in 1948, and this book is still a top seller. Another popular title available in English is The Setting Sun.

Pat Barrington Week: The Girl with the Hungry Eyes (1967)

Leopold von Sacher-Masoch wrote in his best known work, Venus in Furs, that in any relationship there must be a hammer and an anvil (attributed to Goethe). Rostler's The Girl with the Hungry Eyes is a similar story. It is the tale of two women, Tigercat as hammer (Cathy Crowfoot, Mondo Keyhole) and Kitty as anvil (Adele Rein, Common-Law Cabin).

Tigercat is a on the butch side, and finds Kitty after she has been abused by various men. In the beginning, Kitty begins making out with a male hitchhiker, whom Tigercat kills out of jealousy. Kitty is not so convinced that she belongs with Tigercat. She says it was fun at first, but is obviously inclined toward men. Eventually Kitty returns to her boyfriend Brian.

This movie is quite the pre-hardcore porn movie. It is very Cinemax friendly. Kitty has a lengthy shower fantasy scene, first with her showering, then with her remembering her time with Brian and the staples of 1960s sex, stomach rubbing and belly kissing. Pat Barrington is featured as one of the lesbian friends at Kitty's birthday party.

The most difficult part of this film is the message. The moral of the story is that sex is good, but only hetero-sexual sex. Obviously they had to make something morally objectionable to make such a morally objectionable film... but it is hard to tell if Rostler believes this or not. A surprising number of people in the skin trade are quite conservative. Russ Meyer certainly had his hang-ups, did Rostler as well? Both Tigercat and Brian are guilty of taking advantage of the weak-willed Kitty. Tigercat is a sexual predator, whom it is hinted, looks for women like Kitty to lure into her lifestyle, but Brian is no better. When Kitty returns to him and describes how terrible it was to be with Tigercat it takes him no time to get her clothes off. Brian also has no qualms with beating up Tigercat, whom he does not consider a woman.

There is likely a great deal that could be said about this film, if one dug into the subtext and Rostler's life and inclinations. The cinematography is great at times, and awful at others. One element that could defend an anti-lesbian motive of the film is Kitty's fantasy with Brian. It takes part in a park, and has the best shots of the film, despite the low-budget Vaseline lens for the dream effect. There are shots of the happy couple interspersed with bucolic landscapes, rivers and sunshine. They finally make love in a pagoda of some sort, then in a swimming pool. It cries out "this is wholesome!" There is no sex scene with Tigercat, and in fact the two never appear nude together. The one scene where they are in bed, contextually just after sex, they merely lounge together. The interior shots indicating that their love must be hidden, and the lack of nature indicating it is considered less natural.

I am on the fence with this film. I would edit it down to thirty minutes, as much of the time is filled with Kitty's fantasy, or Tigercat driving around Hollywood looking for Kitty. It gets to be quite tedious. If I knew Rostler's intentions it might be more interesting. This one is for serious exploitation fans, or for those who want the far superior The Agony of Love with which it shares a disc.

To the Devil, a Daughter (Peter Sykes, 1976)

To the Devil, a Daughter is Hammer Film's follow up to the successful The Devil Rides Out ( Terrence Fisher, 1968). Both are based on stories by Dennis Wheatley, a popular novelist of occult fiction. According to Lee, Wheatley loved Hammer's interpretation The Devil Rides Out, and offered him rights to any of his stories for free. Hammer, who was on its last legs could not pass the opportunity up and chose To the Devil, a Daughter.

Now, this is a great story, in its way, and the film has a great cast. Christopher Lee as the heretical Father Rayner, Nastassja Kinski in a limited role as Catherine, the wonderful Honor Blackman, the ubiquitous Denholm Elliot, and Richard Wydmark as protagonist/occult expert, John Verney. Ft. Rayner leads a cult that is trying to bring the devil Astaroth into the world of men. Catherine is the vessel that will bring this about.

For the most part, this is a chilling, well done film. Lee is at top form as the über-creepy-with-a-smile excommunicated priest. He gets a lot of great lines and face time. Denholm Elliot, as Henry Beddows (Catherine's perhaps-father) is manic and scared, a pawn of the cult and does his typical great work in that capacity. Honor Blackman is, well, Honor Blackman... Sexy beyond her years and lights up the screen when she appears.

This is one of the few DVDs where the "special features" are worth watching. There is a 24min reel about the making of the film. Hammer is quite good about this in general. You get to learn a lot of cool things like; they forgot to write an ending, Richard Wydmark is a dick, and both Christopher Lee and Dennis Wheatley were appalled by the finished product. Some old guard Hammer veterans were included in the interviews and they agree that this film was the final nail in Hammer's coffin. Wheatley refused to let them do any more films of his books, and the public had lost interest in what they were doing.

If you are a Lee fan, a Hammer fan, an occult horror fan, watch this one. If you are like me, you are used to the ending being inconclusive, or just plain bad. The build up is a lot of fun, and really, who cares how these things end? It's always the same.

Call Me a Cynic

Go ahead. I can take it.

I was reading Samurai Frog's Hobo Trashcan post "We Are the Fail" yesterday, and frankly it inspired me. If you don't want the ear-maggot of the song in your head, you might want to stop reading. I have had it all morning, and it is days like this I wish my car radio still worked.

So, it is the twenty-fifth anniversary of the original We Are the World, and how timely it is that a country full of African descendants are dying. No, wait. The world is full of African descendants who are dying. Hell, the people the original song was meant to help are still dying. So, why are we being punished again with this dreadful song? It is our self-congratulatory, mass-social-masturbating mindset. The "We" is us, or rather, U.S., and don't you forget it.

I am a Gen-X'er. I don't mind the term. I despise the '60s, particularly when confronted with Dennis Hopper types who pretend it was about freedom, and not about getting high and scamming on naïve hippie girls. The "movement" the Baby-Boomers talk about started not for equality, social-justice, or to end Vietnam, it was because they wanted to go to college in jeans and stinking of pattchuli. Those other things came after young, white America got their dress code problems sorted out. But the thing I hate most is the idea that pop music can change the world.

I love pop music, by the way. I love rap, rock, and classic country. Music does not typically change my attitudes. It will occasionally make me think of things in a different light, but primarily music like Bob Dylan's or John Lennon's does not start society in a direction, it records that direction for posterity. It is our modern world's catalog of spirituals, something we can dust off to inspire people, or remind them of the "why" of an event. "We Are the World" was not the only song of its type. There was "Do They Know It's Christmas" with a cast of lesser known British stars along with Duran Duran and The Police. Not sure what effect this one had, except that those people are still starving too. Well, when they are not too busy dying of AIDS.

I am against this sort of thing, mostly because they are so ineffectual. It is arrogant of us to think that a 99¢ download, or whatever it cost, is going to put that much money into helping people. Also, the song is so full of arrogance. "We are the world. We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day, so lets start giving." Obviously the starving people are not the ones expected to give, it is us. The "We" in the song.

If you want to help Haiti, give some money to a real charity, please, and lets stop this sanctimonious bullshit before its fiftieth anniversary.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #30

I am not one to cherish things. I do like my possessions, but if many of them were to disappear I would not be heartbroken. One little thing I would be hurt to lose is a signed copy of Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. This, after a reminder from Mickey Glitter, leads us to Fiction's Finest Nerd #30: Charles Wallace.

Charles Wallace is very much an advancement of man. He is incredibly intelligent and has a gift for knowing what is going on. He did not speak until the age of four, but when he began he was using complete sentences in an adult fashion.

Charles Wallace is the hero of A Wrinkle in Time and appears in L'Engle's other "Time Trilogy" books (A Wind in the Door, and A Swiftly Tilting Planet).

I have only read "Wrinkle" thus far, but really enjoyed it. L'Engle does not patronize kids. She never takes a condescending tone and tackles a lot of real issues. If you have never read this, I fully recommend it.

Pat Barrington Week: Lila (1968)

Also known as Mantis in Lace, Lila is William Rostler's look at a stripper with a personality disorder that is exacerbated by LSD use. Lila (Susan Stewart, Farewell My Lovely) meets men at the topless bar she works at, then brings them to an abandoned building, purportedly owned by her father. Here she seduces the men, and in the throws of passion murders them, hacks up the bodies, and discards them in vacant lots.

Barrington appears in this film as one of several dancers who's job it is to push the movie out to more than thirty minutes. These scenes are long and occasionally boring. Oddly, the men who attend this topless bar are not abusive or obnoxious to the dancers, as in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, but are always shown as happy and well mannered. Why then does Lila want to kill them?

It is likely a twist on the censorship escape. Often films with mature content would use a killer as a way of displaying nudity and sex, while "showing" that it was dangerous. Think of most any slasher movie. It is always the virgin who survives. Here, the danger is drugs. Sex and nudity are not evil and bad, but experimentation with hallucinogenic drugs creates a killer who apparently does not know what she is doing.

My Favorite Toys: Playmobil

Posting after seeing Calvin's post.

The real reason I love these might be that I never had any as a child. It is hard to say, but when I look now at Playmobil's collection I know how truly cool their toys are.

These are toys that don't pull a lot of punches with kids. I find with kids' toys, the bad guys are always super villains. Playmobil's baddies are normal people, and if you are going to have adventure play, then you need bad guys, right?

These are my new favorites; the Egyptian collection. Like all there collections there are normal people, and professionals, but there are also these guys: bandits and robbers who are yout to thwart your hero. What fun would Indiana Jones be without Nazis and evil cults? Nothing.

Tomb with Treasure

Two Robbers with Camels

Robber with Horse

Grave Robbers

Pat Barrington Week: Mondo Topless (1966)

Writer/Director/Cinematographer Russ Meyer had a niche in films, and Pat Barrington fit right in.

Mondo Topless is Meyer's most bizarre work, in many ways. Certainly he did not shy away from nudity, and many of his actresses were discovered while dancing at go-go or strip clubs.The film's entire sixty minutes are comprised of topless dancing with voice-over interviews with the dancers. Insipid, or inspired? In many ways this film is an indictment of the "Mondo" genre where "documentaries" were made to shock and titillate American audiences. It is so bizarre that it outdoes many of those films by being even less entertaining. Meyer is also, perhaps, giving a jab to the male desire to make dancers and models more than what they are. The narrator often criticizes the models during their interviews, or says things along the lines of, "shut up and get back to dancing."

Obviously, this film is not for everyone, and you have to really want to watch it to make it all the way through. Despite being nearly all nudity, it is surprisingly unsexy, and I believe that was the idea.

Here is a brief clip. No nudity involved.

Fan-Boy Icon #1

In an attempt to make things more gender-inclusive, and to give myself a forum for other discussion, I am starting a new segment I dub Fan-Boy Icon to feature some of the men of nerddom, to create a balance with our generally-regular feature, Nerd Girl of Note. In my mind, there is only one place to start.

You name it, he's played it. Sci-Fi, horror, action, thrillers... The man, the myth, the legend: Kurt Russell.

Is there any guy cooler than Kurt? I think not. Escape from New York, Big Trouble in Little China, The Thing, Stargate, Tombstone, Death Proof... the list goes on. 3000 Miles to Graceland, Escape from LA, Captain Ron, Used Cars, Tango & Cash, Overboard, Silkwood... Hell, he played Elvis, did the Elvis voice for the actor in Forrest Gump, he's a Disney kid... You want more? The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Gunsmoke, Gilligan's Island. It is ridiculous.

Now, his big return came in Death Proof, but for the classic Russell you have to look at a few that are my favorites:

The Thing (John Carpenter, 1982) - scary as hell, and Kurt plays a take-no-shit tough guy who is determined to survive in Antarctica despite the alien invasion.

Escape from New York (John Carpenter, 1981) - Manhattan is a prison, and the inmates have captured the President. Can Snake Plisskin get him back in time? You bet your ass.

Used Cars (Robert Zemekis, 1980) - A wanna-be state senator must save his beloved boss' used car business from his brother. Possibly Russell's funniest role.

Tombstone (Geoge P. Cosmatos, 1993) - Russell as lawman Wyatt Earp. An excellent cast, and one of the great shit-talkin' Westerns ever.

So, three cheers for our first Fan-Boy Icon!

Pat Barrington Week: Orgy of the Dead (1965)

"Naked spirits! Topless dancers! And Criswell!"

Ed Wood Jr. penned, and Stephen C. Apostolof directed Orgy of the Dead is a silly, silly movie. Pat Barrington stars as Shirley, who is out for a drive with boyfriend/author Bob (really?) when they get into a car wreck near a cemetery. They hear music, and find "The Emperor of the Night" (Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space) and "The Black Ghoul" (Fawn Silver, Mother Goose a Go-Go) judging the dead to see if they deserve everlasting pleasure or damnation. How is this accomplished? Simple, they are judged on their striptease ability. Duh.

The Emperor's minions, a rubber-suited mummy and werewolf, capture the couple and force them to watch the festivities. The Black Ghoul is in infatuated with Shirley, and hopes to make the girl her plaything. The Emperor promises Shirley to The Black Ghoul, only to be saved at the last moment by the sun, which destroys all the ghouls. Then Shirley and Bob wake up at the crash site. It was all just a dream. Or was it?

Basically, this is five minutes of plot, and eighty-five minutes of striptease. Old school, go-go dancing with some of filmdom's corniest "jazz" and the costume and dance are reflections of the dancers' lives and deaths. Barrington also appears as "The Gold Girl" (credited as Pat Barringer), a woman who lusted after gold in life, and whose punishment was to be turned into gold for eternity. So, it is a morality play. Obviously. Right?

Fan-Boy Icon Index

1. Kurt Russell
2. Weird Al
3. Gil Gerard
4. Sid Haig
5. Thom Christopher
6. Roddy McDowall
7. Max von Sydow
8. Casey Kasem
9. Christopher Lee
10. Matt Smith
11. Viggo Mortensen
    

Welcome to Pat Barrington Week

Pat Barrington is likely a name unfamiliar to most. She is a somewhat obscure actress who appeared in some of the "great" genres of B-Movie history. Born in 1941, Pat was stripper turned actress. She appeared in several films, and a number of nudie reels.

Pat Barrington was known for her bust. She was athletically built, like a belly dancer, and typically a brunette, though she often appeared in wigs, as above. In many of her films she was featured only as a dancer, particularly in those short reel works. Often they were hippie or drugsploitation pieces with a bunch of people getting high and watching Pat strip. Many of these are available on the Something Weird editions of her films.

This week we'll look, not so much at Pat, as the movies she appeared in, and what makes them interesting, important, or ridiculous. Here is what is on deck:

• Monday: Stephen C. Apostolof's Orgy of the Dead, written by Ed Wood Jr.
• Tuesday: Russ Meyer's Mondo Topless
• Wednesday: William Rostler's Lila (aka Mantis in Lace)
• Thursday: More William Rostler with The Girl with the Hungry Eyes
• Friday: Even more William Rostler with The Agony of Love

While Pat Barrington is fairly famous for two things, IYKWIM, we won't be featuring any nudity in these posts. We shall attempt to look beyond the flesh, and into the films themselves, so no worries about inappropriate images.

A word about exploitation. It comes in many forms, typically all involve sex. There is Blaxploitation, Nunsploitation, Britsploitation, Drugsploitation, Teensploitation... If it is trashy, it is a flavour of Mother Exploitation. Now, the terms sounds like it means the films exploit the people in them (particularly women), and this is not necessarily a falsehood, but there is a sound argument that those exploited are actually the viewers. If you have ever watched a terrible movie just because there was nudity in it, guess what? You were exploited. Inclusion of sex and nudity is to many directors and producers license to make crappy films. Before Deep Throat (Jerry Gerard, 1972), explicit sex was not commonplace in American cinema, and many viewers had to take what they could get. Many people making Exploitation films were out to make a buck, lure young starlets into their Hollywood dream, or perhaps even launder money.

Some of filmdom's great people began in exploitation before making it big in the mainstream, while many other greats stayed. Jonathan Demme, director of Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia, and the remake of The Manchurian Candidate worked for Roger Corman early on. Demme's directorial debut was the Women in Prison classic Caged Heat (1974, Erica Gavin, Juanita Brown, Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith, Roberta Collins). Jack Hill, who brought us Coffy and Foxy Brown (both featuring Blaxploitation Goddess Pam Grier) also made many Women in Prison and Cheerleader Exploitation films. Russ Meyer, while not everyone's cup of tea, was a visionary, and one of the last great writer/director/cinematographers who stayed in Exploitation because he could not stand the constraints placed upon him by the big studios. Others, like Ed Wood Jr., were unfortunate souls with great vision, but little talent. Exploitation is not always something to be ignored, as there are often real gems amongst the rhinestones.

Those are "Kill Flags"

Apparently Sports Illustrated decided not to run this picture, and unfortunately I agree with their decision, because of the potential/current backlash. The Nazi flags here signify that this pilot has at least three confirmed kills of German pilots (hopefully during WWII :-).

I find it funny that people are unfamiliar with this, but then I made a lot of model planes as a kid and knew exactly what a kill flag represented. Others my age do not.

When the original Gulf War was going on I was here in Fayette'Nam, home of Fort Bragg, home of the 18th Airborne Corps, so jingoism was of a similar level to the early days of the current Gulf War. A friend's sister had two magnetic American flags on the door of her car. I jokingly asked, "does that mean you shot down two American planes?" She was pissed, and even the explanation of what the kill flag represented and how the placement on her car mimicked it was not going to calm her down.

I gotta blame the Huffington Post for running this and making a non-story into a big deal. Fortunately the comments so far are explaining what the flags represent. I used to enjoy the HP, but this is the kind of thing you'd expect from Fox News; running a story that is inflammatory to masses that are unaware that there is no reason to be pissed.

Custom Skeletor Lair

This is exactly the kind of thing I loved doing as a kid, though not this well. All my space ships were made of old packing boxes. There are more really great photos here. Thanks for Dork Dimension (who I have pimped in the past) for the heads up.

Nerd Girl of Note #49

Here we have a woman that Empress Kate has called "a force of nature!" I had no idea, prior to watching Death Proof (2007), who she was, but had been seeing her for years. You know all that cool stuff Xena does in fight scenes? That, my friends, was Zoë Bell.

Zoë Bell has been a stunt-woman for years, starting with (according to the IMDb) Xena: Warrior Princess. She was Uma Thurman's stunt-double in both Kill Bill movies, Sharon Stone's stunt-double in Catwoman (2004), as well as in numerous other films and television shows. She has begun appearing more as an actress as well, recently in Whip It, and Angel of Death.

However, if you really want to see Zoë in action, you have to watch Death Proof. Even if you just watch it for the "Ship's Mast" scene, where she rides on the hood of a 1970 Dodge Challenger while Stuntman Mike (the über-awsome Kurt Russell) tries killing the riders in a car chase. It is balls-out action with lots of tight shots of Ms. Bell bouncing around on the hood of the car. It is a real nail-biter.