Fan-Boy Icon #7

He's one of the world's great actors, but is not afraid to step down to the "Every Man" realm. Max von Sydow was the knight Antonius Block in Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal, portrayed Jesus of Nazareth in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and Father Merrin in The Exorcist. Yet, he was also Ming the Merciless in the Dino de Laurentis Flash Gordon, Brewmeister Smith in Strange Brew, the voice of Vigo in Ghostbusters II, King Osric in Conan the Barbarian... The man gets around. He was even one of the string of Ernst Stavro Blofelds, appearing in Never Say Never Again.

Then, there is Dune, Dreamscape, Rush Hour 3 (really?), Minority Report, Judge Dread, Needful Things, The Ice Pirates... I mean, he's like the white Morgan Freeman, because the man is in everything. If they ever make The Life and Times of Max von Sydow, guess who will play him? He will!

Now, despite all the roles he has played, none stand out like the Emperor Ming. In Flash Gordon, von Sydow puts on the smarmiest display I have ever seen. Ming is a man who is both god and devil. He is all powerful, and is played with this incredible aloof malevolence that makes the movie. If you have never watched Flash Gordon, yes it is hokey and stupid at times, it must be watched just for Ming the Merciless. Hell, fast forward through any scene he is not in, if you want. Watch it. Do.

Nerd Girl of Note #55

Jamie Lee Curtis... Where do you start? She went from one of B-Movies' greatest Scream Queens in films like Prom Night and Halloween, to a series of comedies like Trading Places and A Fish Called Wanda to being the "yogurt that makes you poop" lady. Such a waste. [pun unintended]

To fit the proceedings though, she appeared in the episode "Unchained Woman" as Jen Burton (on Fancast, here).

I think it all went downhill for me with My Girl, a sappy, sentimental movie that was a bit of a change for her. Its popularity certainly cast her in a different light. Her only memorable nerd-friendly role after that was True Lies, where she played Helen Tasker, the oblivious wife of a top secret agent (Arnold Schwarzenegger). She is duped into playing spy to protect her husband's cover. Part of the role involved a striptease that many say she did to show she still had a great body, but she was only 36 at the time. Were the '90s that different?

Of course, the role that made her famous was in Halloween as Laurie Stroud, the "final girl" who lived to appear in the sequel. This led to Prom Night and The Fog.

A very big movie at the time was Perfect starring opposite John Travolta. This film was meant to highlight the aerobics fad of the day, and spent lots of time with JLC sweating and bouncing in skin tight lycra. I have never seen this, but am starting to think I should. ;-)

Fiction's Finest Nerds #34

You know, I almost hate that I started this whole thing. There were so many problems with this show, and here is one of them: Dr. Elias Huer.

Frankly, he was a rear nancy-boy pain-in-the-ass. I watched Unchained Woman recently, and Huer goes behind his friend's back to break Jamie Lee Curtis out of a prison. Turns out he was right, and the friend was being blackmailed into aiding the bad guy, but still, dick move, bro! Then he just told the guy he did it... Man.

From now on, I am sticking to the tight shiny outfits, alien princess skin, and high jiggle factor that kept me entertained in my prepubescent youth.

Fan-Boy Icon #6

Roddy McDowall is a movie legend. He's done most everything, including a two episode run of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century entitled "Planet of the Slave Girls." He is famous and not-so famous for a bunch of other films; he played Cornelius in two Planet of the Apes films, as well as Caesar in two others and Galen in the television series. He was Alan 'Mollymauk' Musgrave in Lord Love a Duck. He was The Bookworm on the old Batman series. The Breadmaster in The Tick! He was the voice of Samwise in the Rankin/Bass animated The Return of the King... The man's career goes on and on, starting in 1938.

Now, for me it is all about Fright Night (Tim Holland, 1985). Here he plays Peter Vincent, a horror actor on the downward side of his career. His character is a bit of a nod to Peter Cushing, in the flavour of his roles, and his name is a nod again to Cushing, as well as Vincent Price, whose career had gone a similar way.

The aforementioned Lord Love a Duck (George Axelrod, 1966) is a dark, fun film. It takes a bit of a stab at the teenage movies of the day, with McDowall's 'Mollymauk' as a manipulator who sets out to destroy people's lives. He is not so much evil as he is, say, obliviously sociopathic. It is very interesting, and shows up on the old movies channels once in a while (AMC or TCM, I forget which one. I even found a Facebook Fan Page for the film.

So, be on the lookout for McDowall's films. He has a great screen pressence, and ranks up there with Peter Lorre on the recognition scale, IMHO. No matter what your tastes are, he's probably been in something you'll like.

Nerd Girl of Note #54

When I came upon some images of Markie Post from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, I thought, "is that enough to make a Nerd Girl of Note entry?" Sure, she was in retro favorite Night Court as well, but really. One Sci-Fi appearance? Surely not.

Then I came across this little gem. Seems back in 2001, Ms. Post did a pilot for a reworking of the Sid & Marty Krofft "classic" Electra Woman & Dyna Girl. Really? Yes, really.

These new adventures of Electra Woman and Dyna Girl were to feature an aging, retired Electra woman who boozes it up and swears like a sailor. The new Dyna Girl is a young woman whom Electra Woman saved as a child. It is a parody, and quite funny. Post is hilarious, and I think the show had some really great writing. You can watch the pilot below.

Now, back to Buck Rogers. Post appeared in the two part episode "The Plot to Kill a City" as Joella Cameron. You can see these episodes at Fancast (part 1, part 2). Markie also played Elliot Reed's mother on Scrubs, and a insatiable cougar who find even the clinical terms for genitalia offensive. She did all the obligatory '70s/'80s show; Matt Houston, The Love Boat, The Fall Guy, Fantasy Island, Hotel. She was also quite the aficionado of '80s style. She had what must be termed a "porn star mullet" that was typically big and wavy. The kind of thing you'd see on Amber or Ginger Lynn back in the day.

Of course, her best known role, among oldies like me, is as Christine Sullivan in Night Court. She was not the first defender to face the esteemed Dan Fielding, but was the longest running, appearing in seasons three through nine. Not a bad run.



Did you catch the ugly look she gave the Wonder Woman poster?

I don't like...

Time for a negativity post, I think. I try to be a positive guy on the interwebs, but am not in real life (my wife has actually asked why I can't be more like my web persona). So, here are some things that have been bugging me. Please note that some use of Mommy-Daddy words are present, and if any statement hits too close to home, please feel free to tell me I am an ass for posting this.

Superman

There was a comic strip, or cartoon, or something a while back where two Trek fans were arguing over who was the better captain; Kirk or Picard. The Kirk fan was helping a jock at school with his homework, which exasperated the Picard fan. How can you help a jock? That's why you like Kirk. Kirk was a jock!

Now, whether Kirk is, or is not a jock, is beside the point a bit here. It does illustrate my problem with Superman, however. Superman is the icon of the jock, the douchebag, or as per Tommy Salami's retro terminology, the "vaginal bloodfarts" of the world. It is bad enough that Supes can be a bit of a dick without help, but the musclebound, spray tanned, date-rape-waiting-to-happen crowd with the "S" tattoos are certainly not earning the MoS any points with me.

"Bro Trucks"

These are those big stupid trucks with the big stupid wheels that are raised four feet for no reason whatsoever. Really, how much friggin' ground clearance do you need?

Guys who only seem to wear Harley shirts

Yeah, you have a Harley Davidson. Whoopdy-fucking-do. You ride Sundays for three months out of the year (if there is no chance of rain), and wear the shirts 365 days a year. Why? Because you're a real biker? These guys bug me because they bought a twenty thousand dollar lifestyle kit. You are not a 1%'er because you have a Harley. Show up to work with ice on your jacket, and then we'll talk; and I was riding a Ninja 500-R then.

Busy Bodies

"Did you do this?"

"Did you check on that?"

Will you shut up?!? Don't you have your own work to do?

Internet Dicks

Look. If I mention something on Twitter, that probably means I like/am interested in it. If you think it sucks ass, that is fine, but it is never appropriate to just tell me it sucks ass. Now, I have been known to attempt irony, so maybe the incident I am thinking of (none of you guys) is my mistake, but I have a rather strict think-before-I-type policy. If I feel anything I post, regardless of the media, is going to be offensive I like to say so up front.

[checks top of post for rant disclaimer]

[types rant disclaimer]

I try not to judge to harshly. I know that when i am dealing with fellow nerds, there can be some socialization issues. I have talked before of nerd-on-nerd violence. I understand it, but that doesn't mean I must stand for it.

---

Okey. I think that is enough. Pent up frustration released. For now... :-)

Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma (Pasolini, 1975)

We'll start this one off easy, just to warn off the squeamish...



Possibly filmdom's most disturbing creation is Pier Paolo Pasolini's Salò, based on The 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade. Some of you probably know I am a big fan of l'Divine Marquis, having read most of his major works (those available in English, that is). I am typically put off by any film claiming to be about him, his stories, or "inspired by." There are tons of bad ones, and only four good that I am familiar with; Marat/Sade (Peter Brook, 1967), de Sade (Cy Enfield, 1969), Eugénie de Franval (Jesus Franco, 1970), and Salò.

The picture* above is pretty typical of a Salò viewer in action. If there was an award for artsiest gross-out film, Salò would take on all comers. It is highly depraved, scatological, violent, and sickening. It is in fact everything the book was. Here is the basic story.

Four libertine fascists in Italy capture young men and women for a holiday of perversion. They kidnap some young people, hire some thugs with an open mind towards sexual preference, and some old prostitutes to tell stories of their depraved life. As the stories unfold, the libertines act out the atrocities, finishing the festivities with a mass killing of their captives, as well as some of the hired help.

Pasolini's version is very similar to Sade's, save that in the book the holiday is taken at Chateau Silling, high in the Alps. They are secluded and escape is impossible. In the film, they are at a secluded palace, but are able to venture outside. Sade's vision is literally dark. You imagine rooms lit only by firelight; the bricked up windows hiding them from the world. The most serious crimes are committed in an underground vault. It is claustrophobic. Pasolini uses a lot of sunlight, making the crimes seem all the more evil by putting them in broad daylight. Here the greatest crimes are performed in the courtyard. It is almost agoraphobic. The libertines here, with the backing of the fascist regime, are able to stand boldly in the open; they are unafraid of being seen.

Pasolini does recall the claustrophobia of Sade in the end. There are two things Sadean villains love as much as committing crimes; being seen, and watching. Sade's stories often discuss the libertine's penchant for voyeurism, but in what we have of the book there is little acting out on that mark. Pasolini picks this up, having the libertines take turns at the telescope to watch his fellows at work. This does two things; it creates a sense of enclosure, and fortunately, blocks much of the more gruesome action from our eyes.

Now. Who should watch this movie? That is a hard question. As a film, it is a well made piece European arthouse fare. As a reworking of Sade, it is spot on. If either of those items interest you, I would watch it. If your interest lies in torture porn, mondo, or gross out films, you will likely be a bit shocked. I don't typically enjoy any of those genres, and this one seemed a bit harder to take. If you are a bit squeamish, or ever want to enjoy Tootsie Rolls again... avoid Salò at all costs.

Want more? You can see another Sodom/Salò comparison at Sublime Depravity I wrote some while back.

* I made this image, BTW. To the best of my knowledge, Salò has not made an appearance on The Dish.

All That Jazz (Bob Fosse, 1979)

All That Jazz is the story of Joe Gideon. Choreographer, film director, alcoholic, womanizer, drug addict. Scratch that. It is the story of Bob Fosse, as written and directed by Bob Fosse. It is not a pretty picture.

Fosse seems to pull few punches in looking at his life. He is at the top of his game, but is never happy with his results. The film looks at much of his life, but deals primarily with the period where Fosse was completing Lenny (1974, starring Dustin Hoffman). Here, the film is called The Standup, and goes from being a sideline to the Broadway musical he is choreographing to a parable of his life. Despite Lenny garnering six Academy Award nominations, Fosse is unhappy with the results, and is sure the film could have been better. He is also highly critical of his relationships with women. The three main players are his former wife, his daughter, and his girlfriend, all of whom he treats poorly though without malice.

Roy Scheider (Jaws, Blue Thunder, The French Connection) plays Gideon/Fosse, and singing aside does a wonderful job with the role. He is very believable as the obsessive womanizer who is sick of relationships and show business. Having always known him from tough guy roles, it was nice to see him playing a rather unsympathetic hero.

I bought this for two reasons. First, I have been a little obsessed with Fosse. I always admired Cabaret and Lenny, and when I realized this was a biopic of sorts, it found its way to my see list. Second, Wal-Mart had it for six dollars... The film won four of the eight Academy Awards it was nominated for, and true to Fosse's vision of himself, he did not win for best director, nor did Scheider win best actor for the role.

If you've ever passed this up because you thought it was a musical, forget it. There is some dancing and music, particularly the finale, but for the most part it is a tragic drama with a surrealist bend that is very watchable. It is a little self-serving at times, but seems to be as honest a look at oneself as you are likely to see. Fosse does not come off as the man you love to hate, but the man you can't help but love, as well as pity.

Fan-Boy Icon #5

Thom Christopher played one of Buck Rogers' iconic characters: Hawk. Now, I know it is Buck Rogers month, and I love the show, but I seem to be busting on it a lot. This entry is going to be no exception.

I don't know if Hawk is a play on the Hawkmen from Flash Gordon, or if he is just some attempt to make a strange, new character for the team. Either way, Hawk was a pretty stupid idea.

First, he has no wings. Well, lets just go with that. He has no friggin' wings. He's a hawk that cannot fly. The only thing hawk-like is, perhaps, his "hair" helmet. Well, I guess he was also predatory, and was supposed to be tough, but if you cannot fly, or you are not Avery Brooks, what the hell are you doing with the name Hawk? At best, you should be "Penguin," but that is already taken. Maybe "Ostrich?" They are tough, flightless birds. There were plenty of sci-fi/comicbook characters with hawklike attributes, but they did not look like hawks; Hawkman had wings, but no superfluous feathers, the same with the hawkmen from Flash Gordon. Birdman was the same. The closest thing to Hawk was The Blue Falcon, and he was a cheesey rip-off of Batman.

Really, I loved the cheesey fun nature of the show, but this character left so little positive impression on me that I can't say anything good. Maybe he was a prototype for Worf? Perhaps... That's all I can get in the positive frame. Calvin, fire when ready.

The Shelf: Boys and Girls, Action! Action!

See the big images here.

Nerd Girl of Note #53

For every heroine there must be a foil, and on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, that foil was Princess Ardala, portrayed by Pamela Hensley. Ms. Hensley's biggest roles were as Janet Blake on Marcus Welby, M.D. (alongside Robert Young), and Matt Houston (with Lee Horsley) as C.J. Parsons. Her role as Ardala is for me the best known. Princess Ardala was everything Col. Wilma Deering (Erin Gray) was not. A smoldering brunette that oozed sex-appeal. She was leading an assault by the Draconian Empire against Earth.

Ms. Hensley's film credits include Doc Savage: the Man of Bronze and Rollerball as well as the "Get Smart" film The Nude Bomb. She appeared in numerous television shows of the day, including episodes of Vega$, The Six-Million Dollar Man, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, and Hotel.





Here is an okey video comparing Ardala and Wilma Deering.

Premature Book Review: The Devil Rides Out

Another by Dennis Wheatley, The Devil Rides Out is the predecessor of To the Devil a Daughter, though the two are virtually unrelated.

This one oddly enough, I have not seen the movie of, so it is fresh and new to me, or so I thought. Much of the story is similar to "Daughter" and several times I felt I was rereading. This one, however, gets right down to business. The problem is a Satanic cult, and before you get through ten pages, you know the deal.

One of the fun things about this one is similar to a comment Yoo-Hoo Tom made on the movie review of To the Devil a Daughter a few weeks back. It is very Call of Chthulhu-like, in that the protagonists are normal people. One, the Duc de Richelieu, is an educated former adventurer with a smattering of occult knowledge and skill. Rex van Ryn is an American friend of the Duc. He is the tank of the story. De Richelieu even, in true Lovecraftian hero style, goes to the library to refamiliarize himself with rites and symbols that might lead them to solving the mystery.

Thus far, the book is superior to "Daughter" in many ways. The supernatural is less common knowledge, and far less believable to the uninitiated. Even after witnessing The Art at work, Rex is hesitant to believe just anything. Also, this book takes on a less Christian tone, and de Richelieu expounds on how there are numerous world religions that have similar tenants, and all are just different explanations of the same powers of good and evil. Also, The Devil Rides Out is less spy novel than To the Devil a Daughter. Wheatley was, primarily, a spy novelist, and World War II came between these two books. It is natural that "Daughter" would be more spy oriented. Don't get me wrong. "Daughter" turned out to be a lot of fun, but this one is proving to be more horrific already. If you want to read about devil worshipers and the people out to stop them, this is your book. If you are perhaps more GURPS-minded, you might prefer To the Devil a Daughter.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #33

Doctor Theopolis is a weird character in my book. He is an artificial intelligence, much like ST:TNG's Data, but is just a round computer worn around Twiki's neck like a Flava-Flav clock. Twiki isn't even capable of taking him off, or putting him on. Doctor Theopolis, despite being one of New Chicago's great minds, is slave to a libidinous dwarf robot with an incompatible butt fetish. Even in the 25th century genius is tied to ignorance. Ah well.

Doctor Theopolis was part of Earth's Computer Council. He was assigned with the process of assimilating Captain William "Buck" Rogers when he first arrived on Earth after having been in suspended animation. Doctor Theopolis had an important role on Earth as a liaison between the Earth Defense Directorate and its leader Dr. Elias Huer, and the Computer Council, which is the planetary ruling body. Doctor Theopolis was considered one of Earth's leading scientists.

Why he did not have his own body is a mystery. There is an argument that he and Twiki were designed to be like C3PO and R2-D2, however those two were independent of each other when necessary. Theopolis cannot fully function without Twiki to move him around as needed, and his lack of limbs of any kind prevent him from doing any physical work at all.

"Shelf... the final frontier..."

"Ship's Doctor's Log, Stardate... Whatever.

"The Enterprise has sent me down to a strange planet. Sensors indicated two life signs nearly identical to my own. The planet is considered peaceful, so I went with no away team."





Ah. I had to welcome my first ever classic Mego into my collection. My beloved Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy. He will live long and prosper.