City of Wonder

Oh, Cheese Almighty! I avoided Farmville for so very long, only to get sucked in by its nerdly cousin, City of Wonder. I named my country "Whiteplumania" because it did not give me enough characters for "The Mystical Beneficent Magocracy of Darius Whiteplume."

Oh, it is evil. You build a city. Grow your population. Expand your technology and cultural studies. You don't really even have to fight, if you don't want to (I say that having not been attacked, that I know of). It is like Farmville with art and industry. Here is a screen shot.


So, if you are a Facebook user, and want an ally... I need friends to expand my domain. I is addicted, I tells ya!

Short Movie Reviews

Couples Retreat we saw on break during our vacation. We missed a bit of the beginning. Basically four couples go on a fun retreat, but find themselves in therapy. It has it's moments. Vince Vaughan, who is not one of my favorites, provides some high points. The crazy Yoga instructor steals a lot of scenes. (Cable)

Verdict: If it shows up on your cable, give it a shot.

The Awful Dr. Orlof (aka Gritos en la noche) is an early Franco horror film. It is a dark, slinky film full of morally negligent women getting bumped off my a crazy doctor who is trying to reconstruct his dead (?) wife, with his Frankenstein's Monster sidekick. The detective in charge of the case is a bumbling small-town guy with little experience. His lack of detective skills may be a jab at the Italian police and their handling of The Monster of Florence case, but the movie might predate that killer. (DVD)

Verdict: Interesting.

Unmasking the Idol is perhaps best summed up by Empress Kate as follows: "Have you ever wondered what James Bond would be like if he was an asshole ninja with a pet karate baboon?" You should consider her review here for a better description than mine. This movie is so very, very insane. It can't decide if it is a real action movie or a parody. The ending... Oh, Cheese! The ENDING was so bizarrely wrong. Really, I'm not sure I can talk about it. It was worse then the "it was all a dream" ending. Now, really. I am not telling you to avoid this film. It is so beautifully awful. It was by MGM, and has a bit of a budget... Think of it as a GI Joe cartoon mixed with a Mr T-less episode of The A-Team.

Verdict: If I was a 12 year old boy, it would be awesome!

WIP Wednesday: Telephone (Jonas Akerlund, 2010)

Lady Gaga and Jonas Åkerlund bring us a modern take on WIP and exploitation in general with the video for Telephone. While the WIP aspect is fairly short, they manage to cram a whole lot of prison goodness into a trim nine minutes and 32 seconds. The remainder of the video is more revenge and straight exploitation centered, though this is common with films like Chained Heat.

We get the WIP vibe right away with a shot of razor wire atop a fence and scenes from the prison yard. As Gaga is led in to the "Prison for Bitches" she is accompanied by two guards who are highly masculine in build, yet heavily breasted. The line between feminine wiles and masculine brutality are a bit skewed, as it should be with the guards. The other inmates yell threats and cat-calls at Gaga who plays the "new girl" but will soon be portrayed as the HBIC. They forgo the standard strip search, for time's sake, and just strip her down and throw her in a cell. Many of the standard elements are here. The trashy, beat-up lingerie, fights in the rec area, posing and posturing between rival factions, and a touch of lesbian action. For occupying under five minutes, they go a long way in presenting the essence of a WIP film.

Some of you may have noticed how exploitation friendly Lady Gaga is. She got big points from me when she wore a take on the Charlotte Rampling Nazi-kink outfit from The Night Porter in the video for Love Game. The look of the video's titles are very Jackie Brown, and Gaga and Beyoncé ride around in the "Pussy Wagon" from Kill Bill. There are several modern steps taken here to change the direction of some exploitation elements, as well as combining modern ideas into the format. Probably the smartest is the cigarette sunglasses. Cigarettes are money in prison, so having sunglasses made of cigarettes makes them automatic bling. Burning said cigarettes means you have "money" to burn. Gaga as both new girl and HBIC is new in my experience. People don't want to see the "good girl" anymore. Also the use of heavy product placement is exploitative. Lady Gaga was criticized for the dearth of product placement in this video, though it is nothing new to her. In the aforementioned Love Game we quickly see Campari and Virgin Mobile shots. Products are the new cool, and many people want to use what their idols use. Gaga goes from the old stand-by Virgin Mobile to the oddball Miracle Whip. In a way she is hurling exploitative elements at us, just as exploitation films of the past would have a stripper in a restaurant just to get some nudity in there.

In all, I think this video shows that the rebirth of exploitation as a genre is going well. Certainly Quentin Tarantino is greatly responsible, but other recent films have moved the genre into the modern age, notable Hell Ride and Bitch Slap.

The October Challenge!

I have seen this around the intertubes of late, but our friend Dr. Morbius at Krell Laboratories (building tomorrow's supermen today) did a post, and a nice banner. I thought I'd spread the joy. The rules:

Watch 31 horror movies in the month of October with 16 of them (or more) being movies you've never seen before. If possible, blog about them.

I hope to visit some classics I have always overlooked, particularly from the Universal vault, as well as revisit some favorites. This will likely be the first time I will actively pimp for Netflix. If I watch something streaming, I'll give a link, not to sell it, but to let you get to it easily if you are a Netflix user. If you are not, and this is an unsolicited opinion, it is worth the $10/mo. for movie lovers.

Now, I'm off to get a few lined up...

La Fée Verte

Long a thing of mystery and fear, I had the opportunity to try absinthe while in New Orleans at the Old Absinthe House on Bourbon Street. They serve it three ways, generally; traditional style, in a mojito, and as a frappe. I had the classic preparation and the wife had the mojito.

Preparation

I did not see the mojito prepared, but I believe it was a standard recipe, save the rum was replaced with absinthe, or else absinthe was added.

For the classic preparation, a shot of absinthe is poured over a sugar cube atop a slotted straw. The sugar cube was lit on fire, and allowed to burn for perhaps 30 seconds. Water (I believe) was then poured over it, melting the sugar into the absinthe, giving it a milky appearance, much like unfiltered sake.

Taste

Absinthe has a strong anise/licorice flavour. Very strong. Unfortunately, this is one of my least favorite flavors. Due to the high alcohol content (up to 148 proof) I decided not to just knock it back like a shot. The mojito had a slightly better taste, but the anise was still quite strong. Between the alcohol and the flavor I will admit to getting a bit of a retching feeling once or twice; this was my first drink of the day and perhaps an hour after a meal.

Effect

This is the scary part for many. Wormwood, one of the ingredients in absinthe, is a poison and reputed to have psychoactive properties. I don't know how the wormwood content of today's absinthe compares to years before its ban. I did not experience anything hallucinatory at all. It did, however, make me feel quite mellow without feeling quite drunk, nor sleepy.

Overall

Not a bad starter, especially if you are not a party-hard kind of gal/guy like myself. I believe my drink was $28, or there about. We had the mojito, the classic, and an Abita draft, and our bill was $44. Not cheap. It definitely packed a punch, but due to the taste it will be unlikely that I try it again. I think we mainly tried it for the notoriety. From Hemingway to Handler, absinthe has been part of my consciousness and I felt it necessary to at least try the stuff. Also, despite the bar being the Old Absinthe House, we were the only ones to partake. We received at least one startled look from a Dewars drinking youngster which was worth the bad taste.

Premature Book Review: Johannes Cabal the Detective

Jonathan L. Howard's second Johannes Cabal book just might have more appeal to some of my readers. I know that not all of you are into zombies and skeletons and questionable infernal dealings. I do not judge your tastes, merely question them. Johannes Cabal the Detective takes a rather different turn. There is still a necromantic flair, but this story goes from being similar to Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes (acknowledged by Howard), to a steampunk adventure. That's right, kids, weird Victorian science. Cabal's necromancy is more Reanimator thus far, with science over stepping mysticism. Thus far, a journey on an airship that would certainly appeal to Rocketeer fans takes up the focus. I have not yet learned why Cabal is a detective this time, but I have my suspicions.

If this one sounds more appealing to you, you need not necessarily read the first. A mere page of exposition hits those points from the first book (thus far) that are required for the reader to understand this book. It is not so much a sequel, in my opinion, as a re-purposing of the character, though not completely. Cabal is still the character from the first book, but his environment has changed... Maybe think of him as a D&D character in Ravenloft who now finds himself in Eberron. The feel has changed, but the mechanics are still basically the same.

Nerd Girl of Note #81

Known by many names, including Astrid Lillimor, Marie Brown, Francine Franklin, Heide Sohl, Euji Swenson, and many others is this week's Nerd Girl of Note and Russ Meyer favorite, Uschi Digard.

Uschi was a model and actress appearing in many men's magazines, softcore loops, and a wide variety of films. In the Big Book of Breasts, porn historian Dian Hanson listed Uschi as one of the top models of the 1970s. She has 124 acting credits in the IMDb, many of which are just eye candy roles, such as Chesty Anderson, USN, Blood Sabbath, and The Black Gestapo. Meatier roles include Superchick and Getting Into Heaven. She is also listed as a producer for Russ Meyer's Up! and Beneath the Valley of the Ultra Vixens, as well as I. Robert Levy's Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses? According to an interview in Hanson's book, Digard was born in Sweden. She moved to American while working as a corporate translator, having decided to study language at a young age to read foreign books. Reportedly she speaks eight languages; German, Italian, Spanish, Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, French and English.

Uschi has done about everything in the exploitation world aside from hardcore pornography. She was in the hardcore film I Want You staring John Holmes, but was in a softcore vignette. Similarly she was in the Australian productions Fantasm and Fantasm Comes Again. She was in two of the infamous Ilsa films staring Dyanne Thorne, and most famously (perhaps) as the shower girl in the "Catholic High School Girls in Trouble" segment of Kentucky Fried Movie. She was a regular feature in the men's magazines Gent and Nugget in the '70s, often appearing with Candy Samples, who she also appeared with in nineteen films.




Uschi as part of the hippie gang that harasses our hero in Blood Sabbath

Short Movie Reviews

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is a prequel to the first two Underworld films. This time Rhona Mitra (Doomsday) is the leather clad, ass kicking hottie. I have to tell you though, I did not get into this one. Not Rhona's fault, I'm sure. It just seemed to be very talky, and perhaps only really giving us items that serious Underworld fans are interested in. Maybe I was dazzled by my new netbook? Of course, if an action movie with a hot chick can't keep your attention, what the hell can?

Verdict: I'm gonna say "meh."

Superman: Doomsday was not a favorite. Maybe it was because I am not really a Superman fan? Frankly, the only time I have really enjoyed Supes was the first Christopher Reeve movie. Maybe it had something to do with the rehashed story, or the lack of the traditional Bruce Timm styling? Whatever it was, I just could not get enthused. Oh, and I am no Anne Heche fan, and her Lois Lane was pretty annoying. I don't think I have ever disliked Lois more.

Verdict: I just could not get interested.

Moulin Rouge! is, while at times laboured, very nicely done. I think the music is nicely used, and the occasional medley usually blends very well. I like how it maintains a gaudy look throughout, and reflects much of the bohemian art of the time, if perhaps with brighter colors. I did MST3K it a bit, telling Ewan McGregor to use his Jedi mind tricks with more regularity than was reasonable, or indeed funny. What can I say? That's how I roll. (DVD)

Verdict: Fun and interesting.

A Clockwork Orange pits Malcolm McDowell against a Dystopian future. Unfortunately, the DVD did not play well so I did not see the end. I seem to remember it being like Full Metal Jacket, with a before and after... Two movies, essentially. I have not seen it for about 20 years, and forget the last half completely. (DVD)

Verdict: Very good, but disturbing.

Black Mama, White Mama is one of the great WIP films. It has it all. Pam Grier is in top form as the tough, take-no-shit Lee Daniels. A take off of the 1958 Sidney Poitier, Tony Curtis escape film The Defiant Ones is full of action and gratuitous nudity. Grier and Sid Haig steal the film, with honorable mention to Lynn Borden as the evil Matron Densmore. Read the full review here. (DVD)

Verdict: A must-see for exploitation fans.

WIP Wednesday: Black Mama, White Mama (Eddie Romero, 1973)

Friends, I have many flaws. Many, many flaws, depending on who you ask. Possibly my great blogging flaw is enthusiasm and/or hyperbole. As I was beginning this particular review I had to ask myself, "how many WIP films have I said were the greatest ever made?" Fortunately, I believe only once with Reform School Girls, and I stand by that statement. I must tell you though, Black Mama, White Mama is a damn fine competitor. Oddly, there is very little actual prison action in this one.

Lee Daniels (Pam Grier) was a drug dealer's girlfriend who was arrested on a bit of a frame job. Karen Brent (Margaret Markov) is an American debutante who came to the Philippines to fight for the revolution, of which her boyfriend is the leader. The two take an instant disliking to each other, and guess what? That's right, the two cannot avoid each other, particularly after being handcuffed together.

As for the standard WIP elements, despite the short time dealing with actual prison surroundings, the film crams them in nice and tight. The prisoners wear the obligatory smock, panties, and flip-flops. The female guards all wear hot-pants, which is somewhat non-standard. They are the worst sort too. Brutal, salivating peepers, made all the worse by being, in general, very attractive. You don't mind hating the mannish, wart-nosed guard with the Judge Judy haircut, but when she's a hottie you want to like her. It's like there are a handful of Ilsa juniors running around. Matron Densmore (Lynn Borden) is a salacious drunk who demands sex from new inmates, though she will happily beat a prisoner who refuses. Her alcoholism is so out of hand that the guards save Pam Grier from her post-advance fisticuffs.



The plot is loosely based on The Defiant Ones staring Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis (Stanley Kramer, 1958). When being transferred to maximum security at another facility, Margaret Markov's boyfriend attempts an attack on the convoy. They succeed to a point. Grier and Markov escape, but are separated from the revolutionaries. Grier wants to get off the island, and Markov wants to get back to her cause. Fortunately for us, they are still handcuffed together.

For the Filipino WIP films of the day, this is a really good one. Sid Haig plays another of his wacko characters. The story is fairly complex. Shower scenes and cafeteria brawls, fire fights, dirty pimps and drug lords. It has a bit of everything. Hell, they even dress Grier and Markov as nuns for a while to add a touch of WIP's sister genre, Nunsploitation, to the mix. Highly watchable, and I think a must-see for exploitation fans of all stripes.

Fiction's Finest Nerds #42

When I did the Premature Book Review of Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, I was very early in the book. Now that I have read through most of it, I felt a Fiction's Finest Nerds entry on the titular necromancer was in order.

Cabal is a scientist who has a yet undisclosed issue with death. It is hinted that he pursued necromancy for the benefit of mankind, but frankly his character is so self-involved I find this hard to believe. He warrants being called a nerd here for several reason, one of which involves his similarities to another entrant, Dr. Temperance Brennan, aka "Bones."

Johannes Cabal is driven by logic, and understands little of what interests the common man, which makes his running a carnival all-the-more humorous. Like Bones, he is often baffled by his customers. He is also partnered with his brother Horst, who like Seeley Boothe, understands the desire of entertainment and passion for passion's sake.

Blood was thicker than water, after all. He had its relative density written down somewhere to prove it.

Now, this book is much more involved than a television show, so Cabal is not quite as cartoon-like as Brennan. We do get to learn more about his nature than we typically do with Bones, mainly that he is a bit of a bastard. This bodes well, in my opinion. First, there is the expectation that as the protagonist we will see him change his ways and win our hearts. Secondly, there is the more delightful anticipation that the preceding hope will be dashed. Evil, is so much more enjoyable than good, and frankly more accurate to the true workings of the world. Take Count Olaf from A Series of Unfortunate Events for example. When the story ends, he behaves unexpectedly, yet within character. He is a cad, to be sure, but there is a complexity to him that makes him an endearing character. Michael Moorecock's Elric is similar as well. I despised Elric for the first four books, indeed up until the last chapter of Stormbringer. In a way he redeems himself, but does not atone. His character may have expanded, but he did not turn over a new leaf. Like actual human beings, these three characters primarily hold their own interests at heart. Benefiting or pleasing others, if you will forgive my cynicism, largely depends on the benefit to ourselves.

"Now you’ve told me your motives for helping me get this signed, it’s taken the shine off it somewhat. We’re supposed to be doing the devil’s work and you’ve gone and contaminated it all with the whiff of virtue. I really don’t think you’ve quite got the hang of being an agent of evil."

Thus far Cabal asks no forgiveness, and despite the turns of the wheel he is single minded in his purpose. There is a second book, so obviously he survives, but how does it happen? Will he still be the snob I grudgingly love? The misanthrope with oddly humanitarian goals? Will he be a goody-two-shoes? I certainly hope he remains an unlikeable sort. Someone you want to read about, but not get personally involved with.

Browsers: should I be concerned?

I have been playing with the Blogger Stats recently, and saw this little pie chart. It describes what web browsers my readers are using.


Frankly, I am a little shocked at Internet Explorer having such a majority. Now, I am no Micrsoft hater. I am, primarily, a Windows tech. I don't currently run any Linux. I do, however, find IE to be rather clumsy, and a little limited. Safari, Chrome, and Opera are all a bit uncomfortable to me. I wonder why more of my readers are not Firefox users. Any thoughts?

Fan-Boy Icon #23

Okey, this one is a tad embarrassing. You guys know who Tiny Lister is, right? Debo from Friday. The President from The Fifth Element. Big crazy looking guy with a bad eye? Well, I thought I knew him. I really did. See, here in Fayetteville, I worked at a bookstore next-door to a gym, and this big personal trainer used to come in all the time. He wound up in some movies, notably Cyborg, staring Jean-Claude Van Damme. His eye was injured in a fight scene. For years, I thought he was Debo, because of the weird eye thing. Turns out I was wrong. When I looked up Cyborg, I immediately recalled the guy's name; Jackson 'Rock' Pinckney.

Well, Rock only did two movies, and I can't find a picture of him. If I remember correctly he won a suit against the filmmakers (or was it Van Damme?). Hell, he lost his eye. That's a big deal in my book.

Well, not much of a story. Rock was a nice guy. He was imposing as hell though, standing well above my six-foot height, though I was young and my memory sucks... Maybe he was my height and looked nothing like Tiny Lister?

Oh, well. That's my brush with fame for ya.

Monster Ball, Raleigh NC

Last night, as an early birthday present, @tas33 took me to see Lady Gaga at the RBC Center in Raleigh. I wish I had some decent pictures of the show, but unfortunately the camera I had to take was not so useful (the picture to the right is not mine).

We arrived about 6:30 and lucked out by parking behind a group of women who were young enough to be fun, and old enough to have a cooler full of beer. They had been there since 10:00 AM hoping to get a glimpse of Lady Gaga, and to hang out. I am lousy with names, but if you four ladies are reading this, Dave and Theresa say "hi," and "thanks for the beer!" We hung out with them for about an hour, then went in to the show.

The opening act was Semi Precious Weapons, a bit of a mix of NYC punk and hair metal. The singer said they started playing with Gaga in 2006, and that first show had a mere twelve people. They put on a great show, and the music was enjoyable, though the RBC Center has some of the shittiest acoustics I have ever witnessed. ["Semi Precious Weapons" at blip.fm]

Lady Gaga did about two hours, and mostly easily recognizable songs, though I do have quite the ear for melodies. The aforementioned acoustics spoiled a lot of it. She talks to the audience a lot, and it was very hard to make out what she was saying. She definitely did all her own singing, save for a few looped bits in songs to recreate the album versions of things. She ended the show with Bad Romance, which blew the roof off the dump.

The sets and costumes were cool. The band got a little lost in things, like the heavy metal guitar player who would play these semi-solos over the songs, but it just came out garbled. At times the dancers were all over the place and things got a little incoherent. In all, however, it was a fun show. I'll have to post some crowd pictures later.

Nerd Girls of Note #80

One of my favorite bands from the Northwestern music explosion of the 1990s was the all girl power trio, Sleater-Kinney. They are a bit of an oddity, as they are not overly gunge based. They have pretty strong roots in punk and riot grrl music. Also, there is not always bass, often both singers will play guitar, which gives them a very bright and heavy sound. Their singers, in typical punk fashion, contrast to compliment. Corin Tucker (on the left in the image) has a bright, wistful voice, while Carrie Brownstein (on the right in the image) has a manic growly voice.

The video below for Jumpers is one of my favorites. It was not on an album, but rather part of the soundtrack for The L Word and really shows off the power aspect of their music while being nicely produced. The next video is for another favorite, Entertain, which is a great post-punk anger song.

Short Movie Reviews

Crank 2: High Voltage is bizarre and exciting. Don't look for too much clever, though there is some. There are a handful of famous people in it. It is a lot of fun. It's guns, and tits, and blood, and butts, and fighting, and stupid shit, and weird shit, and strippers... and Dwight Yoakam... Weird science... Don't worry if you have not seen the first one. They cover anything pertinent (?) in #2, so you catch up quickly.

Verdict: Oh, just watch it.

Something Wicked This Way Comes is one I watched this for a few reasons. First, I had just read the book. Second, it got a lot of praise from my readership. Third, I read at Krell Laboratories that this was a favorite Pam Grier role. I was sold. Unfortunately, I think the book was too fresh in my mind, and the differences were a tad stark. I will agree that at the time, this was a great performance by Grier, but otherwise the movie left me a bit flat. I did like the old-school live action Disney feel that we get so little of these days. It reminded me, stylistically, of the Witch Mountain movies. It is hard to turn a book into a film, so not blaming Disney. If I had not read the book, or had read it long ago, I am sure I would have thoroughly enjoyed the film.

Verdict: For nostalgia buffs, or non readers ;-)

Russell Brand in New York City first introduced me to Russell Brand. It is funny and smart, and despite Comedy Central's attempt to make him look like a douche, he comes off as being extremely likable. A lot of the act involves introducing himself to American audiences, and his adventures hosting the MTV Video Music Awards.

Verdict: Easily the funniest stand-up I have seen in a long time.

The Double-D Avenger Russ Meyer babes Francesca "Kitten" Natividad, Raven de la Croix, and Haji return in this low budget, large cupped action/comedy. Kitten's character is diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. She learns of a cure from the Amazon basin that cures cancer, and she discovers, provides super powers. A bar across town wants Kitten out of the way, as her bar is stealing their business. They don't know about her new super powers, and identity, The Double-D Avenger!

Verdict: Funny at times. Has its moments, but uses a lot of age-old boob jokes.

Ponyo by Hiyao Miazaki (Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away) brings us the odd tale of a magical undersea princess who falls in love with a human boy. She is determined to become human, but is a magical creature. Her father, a wizard, is sickened by the human world's pollution of the seas (a standard Miyazaki theme), and the human boy Sosuke must take on responsibilities seemingly beyond his years (another Miyazaki standard).

Verdict: Fun, but almost strictly for the kiddies. This one lacks the all-ages aspects that Miyazaki typically strives for.

The Call of Cthulhu was made in 2005, and is meant to appear as an old silent film. Some of the photography and editing appear more like 1930's film noir, but for the most part it is convincing. The film follows the story nicely, and provides a great, creepy feel that a modern film would typically attempt to over do. It weighs in at a trim 43 minutes, and is well worth watching.

Verdict: Nicely done, and true to the source material.

Doctor Who: The Talons of Weng-Chiang has The 4th Doctor taking Leela to Victorian London to expand her education. They quickly become involved in the investigation of a murder and some disappearances. The Doctor knows immediately (almost) that the creature Weng Chiang.

Verdict: I only watched episode one. Pretty standard Tom Baker fare.

Resident Evil: Afterlife has Milla Jovovich returning as Alice to fight the zombie hordes and the evil Umbrella Corporation. Very nice use of 3D in this one. Sure, there is a lot of shit flying at you, but they do a lot to add depth. The story is pretty good; not overly confused (though that is often acceptable in zombie films). Milla kicks much ass, and there is some scheming among the survivors. Ali Larter gets a lot of face time. Perhaps Milla is shying away from the fifth, inevitable, film? I hope not. Resident Evil without Alice is like waffles without syrup: abnormal.

Verdict: I liked it a lot.

Maybe My Sense of Humor is Too Weird?

I found a screen grab on Tumblr from the film Alucarda, a Mexican nunsploitation classic. Immediately a caption came to mind:



So far, there have been only three fans of my caption. The wife indicated that it just might be too weird. I hate to explain a joke, as it is hardly a joke then, but here goes.

The unseen "darling" is asking Alucarda if she wants to have children. She is saying yes, thinking he is going to get her children to eat. She realizes that he means raising children, and decides she in fact does not want children.

Get it?

Premature Book Review: Johannes Cabal the Necromancer

I needed something funny to read. I was getting bored with The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, and went looking for a new book by the other Defoe; Gideon Defoe, author of The Pirates! in their Adventures with... books. Sadly, there was nothing new, but in my search I did come across this book. Jonathan L. Howard's Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (2009).

Johannes is a scientist who sold his soul to Satan in order to become a necromancer. He began to find, despite scientific proof of a soul, that his soullessness was interfering with his necromancy. Feeling that his bargain with Satan was not drawn out properly, he journeys to Hell to renegotiate. Satan agrees to a wager, where Cabal will run a soul-reaping carnival, and has one year to acquire one hundred souls for Satan.

Thus far, the book is cleverly written. It is funny without being wacky. Cabal is egotistical and a snob, and feels the "ritual" part of rituals are unimportant, save those that are truly necessary. When he journeys to Hell, he browbeats the devil's minions into giving him what he wants.

There was hidden meaning in the names he must call, the letters he must chant. That didn’t mean he had to approve or even be impressed by them. As he recited the Grand Conjuration, he thought that some magicians might have better served the world by writing crossword puzzles.

[...]

“Lo!” cried the demon. “I am here! What dost thou seek of me? Why dost thou disturb my repose? Smite me no more with that dread rod!” He looked at Cabal. “Where’s your dread rod?”

“I left it at home,” replied Cabal. “Didn’t think I really needed it.”

“You can’t summon me without a dread rod!” said Lucifuge, appalled.

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes, but under false pretences. You haven’t got a goatskin or two vervain crowns or two candles of virgin wax made by a virgin girl and duly blessed. Have you got the stone called Ematille?”

“I don’t even know what Ematille is.”

Neither did the demon.

In all, I am finding this book to be a lot of fun. It is similar to Gideon Defoe, but perhaps more Peter Cook & Dudley Moore than Monty Python. It is quite similar to Piers Anthony's more comedic works, but a touch more tongue-in-cheek. I think I shall enjoy this one immensely.

Nerd Girl of Note #79

Quick note here for new readers, and I suspect we might have some first time readers today. The Nerd Girl of Note category is not strictly for girls who are nerds, but most often for girls we nerds love. So, off we go.

---

One of my long time unattainable crushes, and now one of my oldest Twitter friends, is this week's Nerd Girl of Note: SaRenna Lee.

SaRenna started her career as a nude model in the 1990s, appearing in many men's magazines, videos for Napoli Home Video, and was in the low-distribution independent film Evil Streets (Terry Wickham, 1998). Her Marilyn Monroe-type appeal was an early selling point, but eventually was a star in her own right, in her milieu. Lee is one of the few models of her era that did not progress into hardcore pornography. Contemporaries like Tiffany Towers, Wendy Whoppers, Linsey Dawn McKenzie, and Chloe Vevrier all eventually wound up going in that direction, for a while at least.

I asked her about Evil Streets on Twitter. I had never heard of it before. She said, "it was showcased in a theatre on Long Island and had some Blockbuster distribution in NY, also sold at the Chiller Convention in Jersey. Not much of the country saw it though, unless they were on the director's site or mine. The goal was to get funding for another movie. I just loved shooting with that crew and a great cast." (translated from Twitter speak, by me. Originals [1][2][3])

As this is a nerdy blog, I had to ask some nerdy questions:

Q: About your website, do you design/manage all the pages? Are you secretly the world's sexiest web designer?

A: I'm involved in designing every inch of SweetSamples :•) BSLFE has helped me technically and executes things over my head while teaching me. I actually made some of the banners myself ~ I love playing in Photoshop it's so addictive! Keehee! I purchased a standard template tho online as the foundation. I like the simple sophisticated colors.

Q: Have you ever played D&D? Do you have a favorite video game? Like comics or superheroes?

A: No but I'd totally LOVE to learn [to play D&D —DW]. I love comics and super herOhs 2! I've been enjoying a website with- humor called Oglaf lately.

[Note: Oglaf is not for the kiddies. —DW]

Q: Regarding hardcore, it seemed like Score was pushing a lot of models that way in the '00s. I was a little shocked to see Chloe Vevrier in a Boy/Girl layout.

A: Oh the Chloe thing shocked me beyond words~

Speaking of comic books, SaRenna is the stylistic inspiration for the Spanish adult themed/fumetti comic AlulA BeBop by Max Capogna. I was not sure if SaRenna was aware of this being produced. She responded, "Great artists and real cool people! I'm very flattered they've included me in their art. He sent me signed drawings too. Very sweet!"

If you are a Twitterer, SaRenna is a fun and nice follow who loves talking with her fans.

SaRenna Lee Linkage:

• Twitter
• Sweet Samples (her official site, SaRenna's World is not her site, and she is not affiliated with it)
• Tumblr
• Formspring
  

Brought a little tear to my eye.

SaRenna was good enough to allow access to a few non-nudes, as we like to keep it clean here (in general).

A bit on Twitter...

Recently, Twitter has launched a new service designed to help you connect to other Twitter users. I have to say, it is superficially annoying. The "who to follow" section under my basic stats indicates people I may wish to follow. I am not too up on how it works, and too lazy to research it, but my guess would be that the choices are based on who the people you follow are following. That's not so bad, and frankly I hate to bitch about anything free. There are a few stylistic items that I would address, were I the developers.

See the little rectangle that says, "Twitter-for-iPad" near the bottom? That is a little random blurb that tells you about different Twitter related sites or applications, such as EchoPhone or Twitterific.It is pretty useful, and used to be at the top. Sure, I don't care about 90% of what I see there, but it is small, and unobtrusive. Personally, I would return it to the top.

Second, I would only put one "who to follow" suggestion. If you click the "x" next to a name, it replaces it with another, but often it is the same as the one below it. You can just keep x-ing names, and do each one twice. Partly this is a style issue, but it is even more a poor development issue.

Now. On to the good.

If you are a Twitter user, you have likely been notified that someone you do not recognize is following you. Who is this person? Well, Twitter has helped narrow things down a bit, as such:


Say Frank Conniff starts to follow me. Let's pretend. I might say, "who the hell is Frank Conniff?" Well, now I can see which (if any) of those I am following follow Frank as well. If he's good enough for wofgnards, shonrichards, and AlBruno3, he's good enough for me.

Side note: Frank Conniff is "TV's Frank" from MST3K. He is a funny guy, but sadly does not follow me...

Another good tool is the "you both follow" option. This is from SaRenna Lee's page, and it appears we both follow some people in common. If this were someone I did not know, I could at least see if they have similar tastes.

Okey. Enough Twitter. If you are a Tweeter, you can reach me @d_whiteplume. Ciao!

Short Movie Reviews

Only a few this week...

Cougar Club looked promising, but was all backwards. Two aspiring law students, one with potential and one with none, lose their internship when the slacker of the two is caught banging the future boss' wife (Faye Dunaway). He's into older women, and Hutton's character wants him to find young mates for her and her friends. They decide to find guys, and charge them for the cougar contacts, rather than charging the rich women for their services. It had potential, but in this regard, falls flat. Had some big names in it, including Carrie Fisher and Joe "Fat Tony" Mantegna, but couldn't deliver.

Verdict: Not dirty enough, nor funny enough to bother with.

Hotel Rwanda is great for those feeling a little too good about themselves and need some depression to level out their day. It was like watching Dawn of the Dead at times, with roads littered with corpses. I'd like to say it is an uplifting "triumph of the goodness of man" picture, but cannot. Sure, it had a Schindler's List aspect to it, and was in fact a good movie, but is seriously depressing. (DVD/picked by tas33)

Verdict: A hard, hard movie to watch.

Caged Heat is an odd little WIP film I went into yesterday. It definitely has its high points, but is not a great WIP film. Erica Gavin is a female convict sent to a prison with sadistic guards and a pervy doctor. She eventually breaks out, then returns to save her friends. I have seen worse films, but have definitely seen better WIP affairs. (DVD)

Verdict: Genre lovers might not dig it. Exploitation fans will be more pleased.