Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Fiction's Finest Nerds #43

Well, maybe not the finest, but that is the title of the thread. Today we look at one of the many Nerd Power films of the 1980s, Assault of the Party Nerds (Richard Gabai, 1989). The movie tells the story of the brothers of ΛAE (Lambda Alpha Eta), which I guess is either a pun for "lay" or "late," though they never bring it up. There are only four brothers, and they are all, presumably, graduating and they have no pledges. Also, chapter president (and closest thing to cool they have), Ritchie (Richard Gabai), has raised the ire of Zeta House's leader knucklehead, Bud (C. Paul Dempsey).

Gabai was the writer, director, producer and star of the film, and despite being the coolest of the Lambda nerds he is pretty tame about being too cool. He has a crappy car and worries about his grades. He is less socially awkward than his counterparts, such as computer geek T.K. (video game voice actor Joe Whyte), ECON major Scott (Marc Silverberg), or the W.O.L.A. (World's Oldest Living Active, Richard Rifkin, Hellboy II, Eragon). He does take one serious liberty by having an overly-hot girlfriend, Diane (Deborah Roush).

The antagonists are the pretty standard fraternity douche-bags, Bud, Cliff (Kevin Glover), and Chip (Robert Mann). Bud is dating the obligatorily named Muffy (Michelle Bauer, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama), and Cliff is dating Bambi (Linnea Quigley, Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons). However, the three have a secret. They are so narcissistic that their body-consciousness leads to its logical end of homo-eroticism and experimentation.

Of course, Muffy and Bambi discover this...

They should have figured it out sooner. Here we see Bud and Muffy just after she told him she wanted to "swallow all his wiggly things":

And Cliff just looks bored:

Hey, it was college, so no big deal, right? Frankly, though funny, they don't handle the gay aspect with a great deal of class. It was 1989 after all. When the girls catch them, Bud explains "we were just working out." Muffy replies, "yeah, working it in and out!"

So, the real plot is that ΛAE National wants to make sure there is a continuation of the fraternity on campus, and National honcho Sid Witherspoon ('50s teen idol Troy Donahue) is hoping to get the boys to get on it. The brothers decide they need to have a party, but lack funds. They scam Witherspoon out of $4700 by claiming the fire marshal threatened to close the house unless it was brought up to code. Of course the party was a raging success, and all four got laid. Even the old guy, who invited the "lady from the loan office," Vanna (Tantala Ray, Slammer Girls)

And, since she was never in another film, here is another pic of Deborah Roush. See other, NSFW screen grabs here.

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