Wednesday, July 27, 2011

WIP Wednesday: Chained Heat II (Llyoyd A. Simandl, 1993)

You know,if the WIP genre did not make a film with Brigitte Nielsen as the sadistic warden, well it would have to cease to be a genre. Luckily, perhaps, we have Chaned Heat II, which has Nielsen as a redheaded Soviet Warden. You may remember that the original Chained Heat starred Linda Blair and Sybil Danning. This one has little connection, save for the title.

Brigitte Nielsen is at her icy best here as warden Magda Kasar. They make great use of her height and imposing frame. She stands a head taller than most of the cast and wears an Eighties power suit with shoulder pads a mile wide. Oh, and she has a pet cougar, and this was before the term "cougar" was in wide use, though there is certainly the potential for a "big dangerous pussy" double entendre.

So, the story involves a post-Soviet prison in Prague that is all about Capitalism. Not the bullshit Capitalism we have in the States, but real, hardcore, anything-for-a-buck Capitalism. You know, the rape and murder kind.

This is a bit of a weird story. Typical WIP fare, mostly, but a bit off. For one thing, the HBIC is very much in charge of the prison, including lording over the warden. Nielsen's character swings between submissive and dominant. She has an obsession with the new fish, which seems to get her in trouble, especially since the new one is an American with a pain in the ass sister who is trying to free her. The sister's attempts threaten to expose the prison drug and prostitution trade.


The twist, of sorts, is that the US Embassy is involved in the scheme, and the judge who sentences women to the prison is a guy who gets his kicks on women using some archaic looking surgical tools.

Like I said, it is kind of weird. Not terrible as WIP goes. Certainly not a favorite, though I can watch most anything with Nielsen in it, and that includes Red Sonja and the Stallone films she was in. My recommendation: for genre lovers only.

 



4 comments:

Daskaea said...

So I finally figured out the issue with the comments. Anyways, I love this review so much it hurts. Best line, "the story involves a post-Soviet prison in Prague that is all about Capitalism. Not the bullshit Capitalism we have in the States, but real, hardcore, anything-for-a-buck Capitalism. You know, the rape and murder kind." You made my insomniatic dilerium amusing. Hooray!
I think I need to watch some Brigette Nielson films. I only knew her from reality tv (I'm a sucker for the really trashy ones and anything involving Flavor Flav is rightly trash. The screen caps interest me in how they manipulate her amazing height and body.

Darius Whiteplume said...

What was the problem? I have had other users say the same thing.

You must have had insomnia to be looking at my WIP posts at 3am :-)

I could never watch the Flava-Flav stuff. I liked Public Enemy too much in my youth to see him as a train wreck. I know it is naive, but I thought he and Chuck D meant something. Patton Oswalt did make a good joke at the Flava-Flav roast, he noticed Chuck D was not there and said "the D must stand for Dignity." :-D

Yum-Yum said...

Don't tell anyone but I liked Chained Heat 2 more than the first Chained Heat.

Anyway, was it just me or were there a lot of white panties in this flick?

Oh, and call me crazy, but I didn't realize Brigitte Nielsen was in Chained Heat 2. What can I say? I was way too busy admiring Jana Švandová's nylon encased gams to notice. ;)

Darius Whiteplume said...

It'll be our secret.

I don't seem to remember the whiteness of the panties. Maybe a second viewing is in order?

I'd find it hard to miss Brigitte, but legs are a priority in WIP.

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