Adventures in Certification

Seeing as I don't really have any regular weekend posts I thought I might do some bits, partly for myself, on the certification process I am currently going through. While I have been a systems administrator for four years I have not really bothered with any certifications beyond the CompTIA Network+. I never needed them from a job perspective. Now I have decided to pursue an MCSE certification.

For those of you not familiar, and as a tip for those of you interested in an IT career, the MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer) is based on gaining four Microsoft certifications from three fields plus one elective. I am going for the MCTS (Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist) for Windows 7.

Preparing for preparing has been the biggest hurdle so far. You need equipment and operating systems. Microsoft provides evaluation copies of Windows 7 that you can download and run for 90 days for free. Other equipment may be necessary for the lab work. I needed a 4GB thumb drive (I have not used thumb drives for years) as well as PCs to install on. Two PCs that you can blow away, or two hard drives to install in two PCs was not a problem as I can use the lab at work, but if I was only able to work at home I would have needed to buy a really beefy computer which would run multiple copies of the operating system; one as the primary, and two as virtual machines. This could have been a large outlay of cash, as you need a really beefy system to get three operating systems running simultaneously.

The first labs are pretty basic; install/upgrade to Windows 7. If you have ever installed an operating system, then you know how to do a basic installation of Windows 7, with a few differences, mainly dealing with your hard drive. If you are installing to a brand new, blank hard drive, the default setup will create a small recovery partition and a primary partition that takes up the remainder of the drive. If you look closely, however, you see an "advanced" option that lets you create multiple partitions. I did notice that a disk with no partitions already created were not recognized by the setup. I was running ERD Commander and deleted the partitions from two hard drives, then attempted a Windows 7 install. I got an error with both disks, even using several machines. Windows XP would allow you to create/format partitions from an unpartitioned disk, and Windows 7 will let you delete partitions and make new ones, but not (it seems) create them from scratch.

Another part of the labs was to create an install disk from an ISO image, and then transfer it to a thumb drive. The thumb drive procedure was new to me. If you use Vista or 7 you can create one with the DISKPART utility. Remember, this will erase your thumb drive. Steps:

1. Plug in thumb drive and open an elevated command prompt ("Run as Administrator")
2. Enter DISKPART
3. Enter LIST DISK (shows you the disks installed and their sizes)
4. Enter SELECT DISK X (X = thumb drive number)
5. Enter CLEAN
6. Enter CREATE PARTITION PRIMARY
7. Enter FORMAT FS=FAT32 QUICK (skip the "quick" if you want to do a full-scale format)
8. Enter ACTIVE

This thumb drive will not be bootable by itself, but once you copy the installation disk to it and configure your computer to boot from USB it will.

So far I have only had minor problems. Much of it me not paying attention, such as our lab computers being set to PXE boot first, or forgetting to let it reboot to the hard drive and inadvertently starting the install process again. I am skipping the upgrade labs, but will definitely go over the user migration bits.

Nerd Girl of Note #98

Quick note, as we may have some new readers today. The Nerd Girl of Note feature is meant to highlight either women nerds love, women who are admittedly nerds, or preferably both. Of course, often it is someone I want to bring to your attention. See the list of previous entrants here.

---

Alright, I know I already talked about the Lingerie Football League, but being someone who likes balance, I want to take a different slant. [original post]

Carie Small is an Tampa Breeze linebacker and center, currently on the injured list. She is active on Facebook and Twitter, and blogs at Rock the LAN. Here's a little quote from an interview:

“I enjoy blogging and interacting with our fans. This year, in addition to my random blogs that my Facebook friends will vouch are usually about Star Wars or micro brews, I’m going to have a ‘Spotlight on My Teammate’ to introduce my teammates to our fan base. I think it’s valuable for people to learn a little more about who we are and what makes us tick on and off the field.”

Carie also participates in the "Rehabbing with the Troops" program that sets wounded soldiers up with professional athletes, playing online games, live gaming competition, and video chats. As the technology of our body armor improves we have fewer military deaths, but far more loss of limbs and/or mobility. I live near and work on Fort Bragg, home of the 18th Airborne Corps, and see a lot of this. It is far too common that I see artificial limbs (particularly legs) in my neck of the woods.

Back to the LFL. Now, while I mentioned previously that I felt the LFL uniforms were off-putting to women who might otherwise be fans, I think there is another side to it. I am not retracting, just positing a different opinion. I was talking to Carie on Twitter, and she mentioned how a lot of fans' wives get interested in the LFL after watching it. Also we both mentioned how beach volleyball players wear bikinis and it is not considered exploitative. There is a double standard at play, one that I admit to falling prey to.

The LFL is very sexy in its advertising, but when you watch the games the outfits become less of the focus. Sure, MTV2 gets in a lot of butt shots, but the game play is shot from a fairly wide angle which cuts down on the gratuitous jiggle factor that is the perception. Some of the players, according to Carie, are models, but are athletes as well. It is a seriously played game, and not for creampuffs. Here is a shot of Carie's ankle after an injury. She has had one ankle replaced and has two plates and twelve screws in her leg.



And, because I know my readers, here is Carie as Princess Leia.



So, check Carie out on the web. She is a heck of a nice lady, and I appreciate the back-and-forth we had on this topic. And take a look at the LFL sometime. Remember, prejudice is still prejudice no matter who the target is.

---

Also, note that this Saturday will be the first live broadcast games. Check your MTV2 listings for times.

Short Film Reviews

American Grindhouse is a history of exploitation films with famous and not-so-famous interviewers. John Landis gets a lot of screen time, but so does Herschell Gordon Lewis and Jack Hill. If you are an exploitation fan there is probably little new info for you here, but some little tidbits you might not know, such as the notorious Freaks was made by MGM as competition for Universal's monster films.

Netflix / IMDb

Verdict: Not bad, but I preferred Not Quite Hollywood.

A Dirty Shame by John Waters is a zombie movie. Except that the zombies are sex addicts taking over a Maryland town. Tracey Ullman, Chris Isaak, Selma Blair and Johnny Knoxville star. An interesting bit is how for such a filthy movie it is self censored. I don't think there is any nudity or coarse language. I am pretty sure you could show it uncut on television, save for the subject matter.

Netflix / IMDb

Verdict: A bit different for Waters fans, but funny when you give it some time.

WIP Wednesday: Orinoco: Prigioniere del Sesso (Edoardo Mulargia, 1980)

AKA Escape from Hell, Blood for Liberty, Hotel Paradise, among others. We'll be calling it Escape from Hell, as that is what my DVD is called.

This is another Ajita Wilson, Italiano WIP film. As I started watching it, I thought, "hey... isn't this just Savage Island without the Linda Blair bits?" Almost. The IMDb entry lists many of the actresses as being in Escape from Hell and as "archive footage" from Savage Island, or listed as different characters. There is so much of the same footage it was hard to tell what was missing, then it hit me.

This is a seriously rapey movie. I always thought Savage Island had the Linda Blair cut-ins to sell the movie by having a nameable star. I think, however, she was used to pad out the rapier bits, and change the story. It is actually a different story. Sort of.

In Savage Island we follow the new prisoners on the river boat taking them to the prison. There is none of this in Escape from Hell. Instead, we see the arrival of the new warden who is a mysophobic. He finds the prison too filthy, and the doctor being an alcoholic is too much for him. He seems to take his frustrations out on the prisoners... though it often just seems to be the standard need for torture in these films. The guards take a different view on punishment; a little fear, then a little rape.

Frankly, this one has not got much going for it. Savage Island was slightly better, and it seems there are many versions of Escape from Hell out there (not uncommon for Eurosleaze). The character names on the IMDb do not match what characters are called in the version I have, so unless you know who someone is, like Ajita Wilson, it takes some research. Not that research would yield anything useful.

This time, the HBIC carries no weight with the guards.


Rapey mustache, Butch, and rapey bald mustache.

The HBIC lets the new girls know what's up.

Ajita Wilson, threatened by a guard.

Ajita Wilson punished on trumped up charges.

The HBIC showing off her new girl.

Ajita punished, again.

"I'm throwing your mail away!"

Um... What?

"Here's some tobacco and whiskey. We'll bust you for it later."

We have to escape! Escape from HELL!

"What are you broads up to?"

"Yes, I was a drunk, but now I'm a big game hunter. Deal!"

Hmm. Must be the River Styx?

IMDb Entry

Premature Boo Review: Brood of the Witch Queen (Sax Rohmer, 1918)

Sax Rohmer, creator of the fiendish Doctor Fu Manchu, may not be the most politically correct author in the world, but he certainly has a flair for suspense. Where the Fu Manchu books are "weird science" based, Brood of the Witch Queen is all supernatural.

This is a mixed bag of sorcery, vampirism, and Egyptian mysticism that leads our father and son duo of Dr. Richard and Robert Cairn against the diabolical and mysterious Anthony Ferarra and, perhaps, his ancient forebear; a witch of Polish/Jewish witch that placed a curse on her husband's family.

It is an interesting book, despite being nearly 100 years old. It is perhaps a bit reminiscent of Bram Stoker's Jewel of the Seven Stars, but more like the later published The Devil Rides Out by Dennis Wheatley. If you enjoyed either of these, then Brood of the Witch Queen should prove enjoyable. I'll admit to getting quite a shock when you first learn of Ferarra's true power. It is a clever and frightening bit of writing.

Nerd Girl of Note #97

I am a fairly new fan of Amanda Palmer's. I first came across her in a video she did satirizing the David Bowie/Jennifer Connely classic Labirynth (see below), and then from her song "Map of Tasmania" (video below, not necessarily safe for work). Of course, you all know my dislike for Katy Perry, so a particular Palmer live bit really turned me on to her.

Not to rehash much, but Perry has some music that is fairly anti-gay. I am a straight guy, but that still bothers me. At a show set up to protest Prop 8 in California Palmer had a Katy Perry look alike sing "I Kissed a Girl" and midway came on-stage, tied her up and forced her into a mock gay marriage. Silly, but my kind of silly.

So, three cheers for "Amanda Fucking Palmer" as she's known to her fans.

Oh, and she's married to some guy named Neil Gaiman whom some of you may have heard of.

WIP Wednesday: Condemned (Oren Shai, 2010)

Writer/director Oren Shai takes an old school look at the WIP genre with his 2010 short film, Condemned. This is far less what we normally see, yet true to a lot of the elements. The story reminds me quite a bit of Hemingway's The Killers, in that it is suspense driven noir.

Starring are Margaret Anne Florence as "Female Convict #1031," Aprella as "Laura (#1059)," and Ashlee Atkinson (Rescue Me) as "The Night Guard." Because of the small cast many of the staple characters are missing, but the three bring most of the elements out. #1031 is a mixture of The Good Girl and the HBIC, though she admits to not being good, and has no one to rule over. #1059 is her new cellmate who fuels #1031's paranoia. Most true to genre is The Night Guard, whom Atkinson plays with aloof menace, filling the guard archetype perfectly without raising a hand.

Otherwise, it is a nice dialogue study. There is a lot to be had in the fourteen minutes of film. The photography is done quite nicely, with quite a few beautiful shots that mimic stills. A very atmospheric film that most of you will enjoy. Watch it at Oren Shai's site for free. If you like it, tell your friends ;-)

MTV2's Lingerie Football League

So, prior to a suggestion to follow Tampa Breeze player Carie Small on Twitter, I had never heard of the Lingerie Football League. I had planned to do a whole thing about the exploitative vs empowerment thing. Compare the LFL to roller derby. Question why female athletes are not allowed to be sexy... You can see where I am going, I think. The whole thing is far more to tackle than I have time, or will to write. I am not going for a masters in women's studies. Therefore, I decided to watch a game and do a review.

First, let me remind you; I am a nerd. As such, I am not a football fan. I find a fascination with football to be both un-nerd-like, and frankly homoerotic. Not judging you football fans (oh, and "Go Saints" or something).

The LFL is broadcast on MTV2 as Friday Night Football, and the installment I saw, at least, is not broadcast live. This is the strength of it. It is ADHD football. They don't sit through timeouts, or injuries, or penalty decisions. Hell, they don't even show you all the downs. Nothing happened on 2nd and 9? Don't show it. Basically you are watching twenty minutes of highlights, which for me is perfect.

The bad part is, it is just a little douchey. Not so much the players, though they are not opposed to standard male douche-bag posturing, but more in the fans and the production. The outfits are a little silly. Shorts and shirts are fine for arena football, if you ask me. That's all rugby players wear, and that is a brutal sport. I think the lingerie aspect really hurts them, not from an athleticism stance, but from a female acceptance stance. I doubt many women want to watch this, though if it were dressed up differently they might. Think of it this way. If I bring a woman chicken wings in a plain container and they are good, they are good. If I later take her for those same wings at Hooters, it is a whole other story. Of course, some women like Hooters. Some men don't. I think the lingerie aspect casts an unnecessary pall over the sport. They are really playing, from what I can tell. There are varying degrees of skill, and I'm sure because they have to be hot that there are plenty of gym rats on teams who are not so team sports inclined, but they fill out the outfit. You can kind of tell when you watch it. There are some really awesome players, and then some real high school looking stuff. I am not trying to disparage them, it is a product of limited team sports opportunities for young women in school. Here is a short highlight reel of the Tampa Breeze and Chicago Bliss:

Ultimately, I am not sure what to say. Give it a watch sometime, or just check out Youtube. Your thoughts are welcome, as always.

Trash Tuesday: Die You Zombie Bastards! (Caleb Emerson, 2005)

Billed as "The World's First Ever Serial Killer Superhero Rock'n'Roll Zombie Road Movie Romance," Die You Zombie Bastards! first came my way via Ms. Monster's Hel on Ice, but also streams on Netflix. I wish I had seen it before doing my Sid & Marty Krofft post, as this one definitely has an influence. A twisted and perverted influence, but that seems natural.

The story. Are you sitting down? Good.

Red Toole is a serial killer, much in the Son of Sam or Monster of Florence vein with his slaying of couples on the make, but is also a cannibal so there is a touch of Dahmer and Hannibal Lechter there. His wife Violet Toole is on board, and extremely enthusiastic. Baron Nefarious of Hell Island has created a zombie ray which he plans to use to take over the world. He creates a few zombies, notably the Maldonato sisters. When Nefarious sees Violet on the television show Wifeswapping Rodeo, he decides to kidnap her. This brings Red into action, using the superhero costume Violet designed for him, complete with cape made of human skin.


This movie is, to be honest, everything it says it is. There is a lot of cheese, and the budget is low, but they are certainly not tricking you into seeing it. If you think it is a good idea to see a film called Die You Zombie Bastards! then you are not going to be disappointed. There is a lot of naked zombie girls, and faux flesh eating. Baron Nefarious is something between a Sid & Marty Krofft Charles Nelson Reilly villain and Frisky Dingo's Killface. There is surprisingly little blue screen in it (if any), so the sets tend to have a very old school trash appeal.

Looks like the "Your Future" show has been cancelled.

Well, if any of you were fans of the Your Future show I was doing via Xtranormal, I am sad to say it is no more. Xtranormal used to let you use at least one scene and certain characters from each of their various cartoon types for free, but now the Robotz that I use are all pay-to-play. That's real money, folks. Granted, it ain't a lot of real money, and I can appreciate that they have expenses, but from what I have seen, only the robots are all pay. Frankly, the whole premise demands that I use the robots. I can't switch gears and use presidents, and the style is definitely meant for robots.

Ah well. It was fun while it lasted. If I get a huge outcry from my readership I'll consider continuing, perhaps monthly, but I don't know that it was overly popular, and the well might be dry anyway ;-)

Women, D&D, and Miniatures

I always loved D&D growing up, but the biggest problem was that girls were not into D&D. There are tons of reasons why they are not, as well as why they should be. I won't go into many of the "whys," as frankly some of them over-generalize, particularly that females are more interested in character and story, something RPGs supply and video games do not; though it is fairly valid. Stereotypes don't just fall out of the sky. The biggest "why not," I think, is the inherent misogyny of fantasy. Many role playing games, including D&D have tried to curb this; the succubus is no longer drawn straight from the pages of Juggs, and they have foregone the 1st Edition rules about ability score differences based on gender.

There are still some problems here, but it is not always the RPG maker's fault, but often the miniature companies. There is a fine line to walk with miniatures. I have played D&D with numerous women, and I find that the miniatures is in fact very important. I can't tell you how many miniatures I have bought for my wife's characters that she hates, or how many we go through when she has a new character.

It has been said that men have synonyms, but women have shades of meaning. One place the light and shadow are best defined is the difference between sexy and whorish. Below is a miniature I did for my wife's Eladrin Fighter (they were still grey elves back then). This is one of the few that she approves of.


Despite the chainmail bikini, this looks like a woman you underestimate at your own peril. Her liking of the miniature might be more due to the amount of work I did to customize it. It originally had a sort of sabre and buckler, but Bryn Willowfeather used a bastard sword, which was a frost brand, and no shield. She had had the character for a while, and I am not sure what we used previously. Her minis are the only ones I would to take instructions on. Typically I would paint them how I wanted, but Brynn had to have silvery hair (a grey elf trait) yet be tan (not a grey elf trait). It did not really matter that the miniature was actually a human; she looked right, in general.

Miniature companies do seem to still have a problem here. Their females are often so realistic that they are sexless, or else wearing a thong with their tits out. Finding a mix is difficult. One company which Tim of The Other Side reminded me of is Darksword Miniatures. They seem to do a fair job of riding the line. Here are two examples:



This is the Female Warrior with Long Sword and Shield. Bare midriff (not the best place to leave unarmored, admittedly) and crotch (again, a weakness armor-wise) is one of the better examples, I think. She looks tough and serious, sexy without being whorish.



This Amazon still has a bit of a stripper quality to her, but at least she is wearing a top. BTW, totally not trying to 'dis my dancer/stripper friends out there. Everybody has a dress code at their job.

Of course, you can never escape the cheesecake.





Obviously the last two are for male buyers. Despite having few real gaming applications, they will be purchased, and perhaps used. They problem is, are they the reason there are no women sitting at your D&D game? Female players, do these offend, or are they just silly? Nudity is one thing (as perhaps with the summoner above), but the last Amazon has a "hey, big boy" look to her that is far more sophomoric. Guys, would you let this on your table? Gals, would it give you a bad feeling for the game or just the gaming group?

Nerd Girl of Note #96

Ellen Muth was the star of the Showtime comedy, Dead Like Me. The show is quite similar to Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies, though it came before them both. They are not 100% similar, but flavored the same. The basic premise is that when you die you might find yourself doing soul collection duty as an auxiliary reaper. Muth's character "George" is one such person, having died after being struck by the toilet seat from a falling Russian space station.

The show is a lot of fun, and ran only two seasons. Notable costars are Mandy Patinkin and Jasmine Guy, though there are other recognizable character actors present. Oddly, it does not get overly religious. The reapers don't know what ultimately befalls the dead. They "live" with physical forms, and have to eat and need shelter, as well as a paycheck. Fortunately, for me at least, there is no real story arc. Sure, things happen that come up in later episodes, and there is character progression, but it is not really a "previously on Lost" type thing. There is no bad guy to catch, nor a seemingly attainable goal. It is far more situational. Give it a try sometime. It streams on Netflix, here.

WIP Wednesday: Female Convict 701 Scorpion (Shunya Itō, 1972)

AKA Joshuu 701-Gô: Sasori, 女囚７０１号　さそり.

I have wanted to see this, or perhaps one of the sequels, for years. Thanks to Netflix and a gentle nudge by Dr. Morbius, I have finally gotten off my ass. Here is the run down:

Nami Matsushima, "Matsu the Scorpion," is imprisoned after being set-up by her detective boyfriend, Sugimi, who uses her to facilitate a drug bust. Guess what, he's a dirty cop. Once in prison she becomes the target of the trustees and the guards. When her former boyfriend and his boss want her eliminated things start to get rough.

This film is typically categorized as a Pinky Violence as well as WIP, it is also a Women's Revenge film. It was originally a Manga by Tōru Shinohara, and spawned three sequels with the original star, Meiko Kaji; FPS: Jailhouse 41, FPS: Beast Stable and FPS:#701's Grudge Song.


There are a host of standard WIP elements here, but is also a lot like Cool Hand Luke. While the immediate cause is not defined, the trustees and prison staff have it out for Matsu. Later they are urged by Sugimi and his boss, and conceivably their Yakuza overlords, to give the girl trouble. Matsu is unbreakable and, like Paul Newman's Luke, can withstand the worst torture that can be dealt. She lives to get her revenge on those who imprisoned her, and will not be denied.


As a character, Matsu is both awesome and troubling. Her drive is Herculean, but in a few instances her methods are questionable. In one scene she is thrown in Solitary, and for some reason another prisoner is there in the cell. Matsu perhaps seduces, perhaps rapes, the other prisoner. It turns out she is a police woman, though there is little reason for Matsu to know this; unless she deduced the truth from the fact that she was not solitary in Solitary. Later, she burns one of her tormentors to death.

However, if you are on her good side, you stay there. And fortunately, Matsu seems to make the right kind of friends. One, below, goes after the trustee (in orange) who is cheating other prisoners.


And then there is poor Yuki...

There is also a lot of great Manga/Anime stylings. Plenty of odd angles and camera reversals, as well as set pieces that melt into each other. The scene where Matsu is raped by the criminals which Sugimi is after is shot through a glass floor, so you see the attack much as Matsu does. The most Manga part is the shower fight where the enraged trustee turns demonic looking, displaying her rage at being bested by Matsu. Those who are bigger film buffs than I might enjoy the skill presented in the hand-held camera work. I am going to say that there was no Steadycam used, a) because it is shaky at times, and b) I don't believe it was in wide use (if invented at all) in 1972. There is quite a bit of handheld use, and they pull off a Steadycam style very well. They are not going for the shaky fake documentary look that was oh-so popular in '90s television. They were going for a Steadycam look, despite lack of access to the device.



This is an interesting and fairly compelling film. If you like Takishi Miike, this is a good one to check out, as the cartoonish yet severe violence certainly inspired his work. Also, Matsu's bility to take punishment is certainly mocked by Kakihara from Ichi the Killer.