Short Movie Reviews

The Spirit is a Frank Miller film based on the Wil Eisner character. Stylistically it falls somewhere between the grim black-and-white of Sin City and the semi-sepia of 300. I am no comic book expert, so I kind of liked it. The story seemed pretty solid, and they didn't bother with a ton of back story to eat up the semi-lengthy screen time (147min). It is not great, but held my interest. Scarlett Johansson is quirky and Eva Mendez is pretty awesome. Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson. (Watched on DVD)

Switchblade Sisters by Jack Hill (Coffy, Foxy Brown, Spider-Baby) brings us a tale of teenage rebellion, juvenile delinquency, and betrayal. The Dagger Debs are the women's auxiliary to the Silver Dagger, the toughest gang in all of Random Urban Setting. Lace is the leader, and main squeeze of the Silver Dagger's chief, Dom. When they meet Maggie they try roughing her up, but soon learn she is tough and bring her into the gang. Then things start going awry, particularly in their war with a rival gang, which I assume was the cast of Newsies. Pretty good, if this is your sort of thing. It is a favorite of Quentin Tarantino's. (Streams on Netflix)

Tamara proves that Hollywood thinks anytime you don't do a chick's hair and leave off the make-up that she is a nerd. The overly hot Jenna Dewan plays Tamara, an outcast who is in love with her teacher and got the top players kicked off the football team after exposing steroid use. Tamara has some interest in witchcraft, and after a prank goes awry... Well, you know. I was actually surprised at how good this was. It was not great, but certainly had some old-school horror/slasher sensibilities to it. Well worth watching if you want a little no-brainer horror film. I have seen far worse. (Streams on Netflix)

Voyage to the Planet of the Prehistoric Women by Peter Bogdanovich is comprised mostly of old Soviet space propaganda films pieced in with scenes of Mamie van Doren and a bevy of platinum blondes. It is kind of interesting. You have to wonder what the Soviets really thought was out there. Much of the same footage was used for Sex Galaxy, a film made in a similar fashion, but with a comedy bent. (Watched on archive.org)

Premature Book Review: The Colette-Ashbee Collection (Shon Richards)

Friend of the blog, Shon Richards, has created a collection of short stories dealing with an interesting concept; an exclusive international library that collects and preserves great and notable works of erotica. The heroine, Claire Currie, is a former internet erotica author who lands a job as an assistant librarian under the tutelage of Oliver Dillon. Together they travel to meet owners of such works to procure them for the library, known as The Colette-Ashbee Collection. The blurb from Lulu:

"This novel collects the adventures of a pair of erotic librarians. Mr. Dillon is the boss and he delights in teaching and tormenting his sexy assistant, Claire Currie. Together they travel and find rare and unusual works of erotica. Contains bondage, discipline, exhibitionism, spanking, sex and books."

I enjoyed it a great deal. There are a few lengthy stories, and a few that are quite short. The final story is a whodunit that pits Ms. Currie's intuitive prowess against a cast of potential suspects in an attempt to find a stolen book. I was pleased to find out that my guess for the culprit was entirely wrong. Each story involves Ms. Currie being dominated, either by the harsh taskmaster Mr. Dillon, or other characters. In this way it is similar to Sade's Justine, save that Currie is (predominantly) a willing participant.

The book is available, like all of Shon's books, at Lulu in trade paperback or PDF format. I used an ebook translation program to change the PDF to a mobi file for my Kindle. Not terribly effective, but I am a novice user.

WIP Wednesday: Thriller - A Cruel Picture (Bo Arne Vibenius, 1974)

While not a WIP film in the formal sense, Thriller: A Cruel Picture certainly merits some discussion in this genre. AKA They Call Her One-Eye, it is the story of a young girl, Frigga, who was raped by a rather filthy relative (literally and figuratively filthy) who loses the ability to speak due to trauma.

The ridiculously beautiful Christina Lindberg plays the adult Frigga, who is tricked/kidnapped by the incredibly slimy Tony (Heinz Hopf). He is a pimp and drug dealer who forces Frigga into sex slavery and heroin addiction. Tony's modus operandi is to seduce women, drug them and force their services with only the promise of more drugs. When Frigga assaults her first client, Tony decides to teach her a lesson; a lesson that gives her the moniker "One-Eye."

After listening to the other girls, and how they make some extra cash in hopes of escape and rehab, Frigga decides to do the same. When she finds that the letter Tony wrote to her parents caused them to commit suicide, escape becomes less of an issue. She now wants revenge.

Oddly, Frigga seems to have time away from her prison. They don't explain why she is allowed to leave, but I assume she has made herself a model prisoner to gain Tony's trust, coupled with her heroin addiction (Tony tells her that she will not find similar quality on the street—he does get his from a doctor). She uses her funds and time away to train in hand-to-hand combat, firearms use, and rally car driving. This is interesting, as most films skip the whole "how did she become such a bad ass" portion of the story. Once Frigga is ready, she goes to work, first killing her clients, then going after Tony. A few wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time people fall prey to her insane tactics, but you have to break some eggs, don't you?

In all, this is a really great exploitation/women's revenge film. Probably the best. I dare say it is a better revenge film than Coffy, despite my love for the über-awesome Pam Grier. Know that there are some actual hardcore sex scenes in this. They are not long, but are penetration shots. I imagine there was a double for Lindberg, as she is never seen in-full during them, but who knows?

I was just thinking...

Now, I was never a big fan of B.J. and the Bear,and if you asked me where the concept of the 1979 television show came from I would say it was part Smokey and the Bandit (1977) and part Every Which Way but Loose (1978). A truck driver being pursued by an obsessed sheriff in one, and a guy with an ape sidekick in the other. However, Star Wars (1977) had a truck driver (Han Solo) and a hairy sidekick (Chewbacca) pursued by a relentless foe who, for all intents and purposes, was the law on Tatooine...

Makes ya wonder.

Fan-Boy Icon #47: Barely Political (@BarelyPolitical)

Sure, we love Weird Al here, but he's not the only guy doing parodies. Barely Political first made a name for itself with the Obama Girl (Amber Lee Ettinger) and the song "I Got a Crush... on Obama." My favorites of late are their Lady Gaga parodies, particularly the "Telephone" parody, even though it is a little mean :-) Most of the music appears to be performed by Mark Douglas, as he hosts their "The Key of Awesome" segments and appears in all the videos. Lauren Francesca portrays Lady Gaga in several videos. Check them out.

Nerd Girl of Note #118 - Ogom Chijindu (@iHeartOG)

The first time I saw Ogom Chijindu play was in the 2010 LFL Western Conference Championship. She and her LA Temptation were playing the Chicago Bliss for rights to go to the Lingerie Bowl (ultimately against the Philadelphia Passion). Nicknamed "the Nigerian Knockout" (a call back to Christian Okoye's "Nigerian Nightmare"), Ogom was startling to watch. On the field she looks ten feet tall, despite being 5'7". I love defense, and she is a serious Outside Linebacker. Don't let her looks fool you, she is a terror on the field, and I certainly wouldn't want to try running a ball past her.

I talk to her occasionally on Twitter, and she is a sweet lady. I for one am looking forward to the upcoming season, which starts August 26th.

Links:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• LA Temptation Page
• Black Sports Online "Model of the Week" interview and gallery.

Hell Girl (Takahiro Ōmori, 2006)

Hell Girl is a rather addictive supernatural anime dealing with a group of supernatural beings who assist mortals with revenge. Anyone who has revenge deep seated in their heart can contact "The Hell Correspondence" and have their enemy sent to Hell. The price is that once you die, you are resigned to Hell as well.

For the most part the episodes deal with a character who is being wronged by some other person. The first several episodes are pretty straight forward. Eventually, the need for revenge is more of a gray area, and at times the tables are turned. You need to give this one a few episodes to get going. At first I thought it would all the variations of the same morality play over and over, but four or five episodes in a story arc starts to form, particularly with the addition of a returning journalist who is trying to find out who Hell Girl is and what is going on.

It is an interesting story and does pose questions about morality and ethics that I do not typically find in anime. It is fairly dark at times, but not overly adult. There is nothing sexy going on, save the occasional, slight sexualization of Ai (Hell Girl) which is typical of anime. Occasional strong language, and the theme may not be well suited for younger viewers, but overall a nicely done show.

Pointing Out Bigots (@homophobes)

Just when you thought people could not be more stupid, someone goes and points it out for you. Here is the bio for a Twitter account that is helping the ignorant get, I hope, a proper amount of revulsion.

"Giving homophobes the attention they're looking for. If you find something homophobic, tweet it to @homophobes! This account is run by a homosexual."

 Now, be warned if you go to their account, there is some seriously despicable shit there.

I don't have much to say on this, as I am reeling from some of the insanity. I did think of adding the users there to a "Loves the Cock" list, but that would be childish.

Wait. I'm childish...

Cardboard Box Assembler!

Cardboard Box Assembler! from Adult Swim Games is a big, often aggravating, puzzle. You play a crazy factory worker living in a dream world, but that is beside the point. [link]


Game play is inside a cube. You run around the facings trying to find the exit. Early on that involves finding keys, but later more puzzle elements come into play. There are moving walls, gravity shifts, plane reversals... It can become quite difficult. You can unlock a Red-Green 3D mode, but frankly, I don't see it.

The fun part is, there is nothing to kill you, and no clock to beat (unless you want to beat "par" for the course). It is just a long, irritating spacial reasoning puzzle where you have to figure out how to get yourself right-side up. Lots of fun, but maddening at times.

WIP Wednesday: Bare Behind Bars (Oswaldo de Oliveira, 1980)

This just might be the WIP film to end all WIP films. AKA A Prisão, Bare Behind Bars is so cliché it seems hardly worth talking about. The only thing it is missing is that it was not shot in the Philippines.... then you notice how incredibly insane it is. It is a constant barrage of every WIP element there is; catfights, shower scenes, the sadistic lesbian warden, the swarthy laborer, sex slavery, fire hoses, the bare minimum uniform, rats in the halls. Then it goes further, but the real standout elements are the comedy and the rapid fire scene changes.

The comedy is great, not for its skilled delivery, but merely for its inclusion. It helped deflect what would otherwise be a rather grim film. The scene changes make it a real oddity, as there is almost no segue between them and only lip service paid to the tried-and-true WIP plot: the good girl wants to escape.

Probably the most interesting part of the film is the prison nurse, who apparently has no medical training at all; she just likes girls. As the film progresses you discover that she is completely nuts. The exchanges between her and the warden are often hilarious, the warden playing Dean Martin to her Jerry Lewis.

I got this as a Region 0, PAL format UK release. It is rated "18" ("X" in the US) and certainly earns it. There is a US release from Blue Underground Video that is widely available on the web. I do not know if it is from the same print, but typically their DVDs are of excellent quality. This one is for the serious WIP fans and has little to offer others. It is not as brutal as, say, the Ilsa films, but more so than Chained Heat and by far more than Caged Heat or Reform School Girls. Oddly, aside from Reform School Girls, it is a bit better than the rest (in certain respects).

They have a shirt button shortage.

"I wish we got to take showers."

The butchest of butch guards.

Oh, they do more than kiss through that hole.

"You little guys are my only friends."

She's no Dyanne Thorne, but then who is?

A tangle of legs for those so inclined.

What's So Bad About Ke$ha?

As I was looking at my tastes in all things I realized something: why don't I like Ke$ha?

First, I think it has something to do with her pop culture placement. She began making a name for her self in the midst of two titans; Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. This is a bit like being P!nk when the world was watching Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, or being The Kinks when the big battle was between The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. There is always a dark horse who gets some attention, but never quite competes. She is the third party candidate in the Presidential election.

Second, is the AutoTune. It is obvious that she is on AutoTune almost full time. This led me to believe that she was all image with good producers. Kind of a Milli Vanilli, if you will.

Third, I was pretty sure I had heard all of this before. Ke$ha's music is kind of about being drunk and slutty. I felt she owed the Millionaires some royalties.

So, I decided to do a little Ke$ha research on the always reliable </sarcasm> Wikipedia. Turns out she plays guitar and piano (how well they did not say), and had songwriting credits prior to releasing her first album; a plus in my book.

As of writing this, I still have not made up my mind. Is she a vapid teenager who can't sing and uses provocative lyrics to get attention? Is she perhaps a semi-ignored talent that someday we will give high praise to? I don't know, but what I will say is that she at least stays on message. Her drinking and sex persona goes through her music, not just that first "notice me" song (looking at you, Katy Perry). Maybe her use of AutoTune is ironic, or merely for effect? Lady Gaga uses it, though it is clear that she does not need to if you have heard her sing live.

So, I am withholding judgment. Her songs are definitely solid dance pop music, which she deserves at least part of the credit for (producers really make the album some times). If she likes the things I like, that is a plus as well. Stay trashy, Ke$ha. We need it in this world.

Adventures in Gotham, Part II

Well, here I am, sitting at my desk in the most ghetto part of Fort Bragg. The week of New York life over. Sigh...

So, what else did I see in NYC? In no particular order:

Kim's Video in Greenwich Village is an awesome place for those with an unusual video palate. They had most everything I was interested in, save a few really hard to find videos like Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold and Prison Girls by Tom de Simone. They did however have some hard to find WIP films, and the fabled Eurosleaze revenge flick, Thriller: A Cruel Picture staring Christina Lindberg (right). They had a ton of Hong Kong, Japanese, and other Asian films, although those these are not my specialties.

The Dove Parlour is a cool little... um, parlour also in Greenwich Village. We met the totally awesome Tenebrous Kate and Baron XII there for drinks before going to the Yaffa Cafe, a semi-Mediterranean restaurant that is always open and has seriously awesome food. Then on to the Lit Lounge for some beers. I am sure I made a complete ass of myself, but I am a nerd, so that's how I roll.

Port 41, aka Tobacco Road, is a "bikini bar" which I assume has something to do with the cleanup of topless places in NYC (thanks a lot, Giuliani). I don't know about you, but when a bar's awning has "Beer * Pool Tables * Bikini" on it I feel the need to investigate. It is a dive to be sure, but not quite as tawdry as it might sound, at least not mid-day, which is when I went. Really it is just a bar where the bartenders dress a bit like strippers. The prices are not bad.

Now, as dive bars go, you should see Rudy's Bar and Grill. Tenebrous Kate suggested it, and it did not disappoint. The stools and booths are heavily repaired in duct tape, and despite its proximity to Times Square it seems full of locals. Even the old lady who (I assume) runs the place calls it a dive. Free hot dogs, too.

More later. I don't want to bore you guys. :-)

Nerd Girl of Note #117 - Edwige Fenech

To quote Empress Kate, Edwige Fenech is "a woman so beautiful that it's actually kind of boring to discuss how beautiful she is."

Fenech is a French born actress who made her name in giallo and European sex comedies. She is apparently a favorite of Quentin Tarantino, who got her cast in his production of Eli Roth's Hostel Part II, and he named Michael Meyers' character in Inglorious Basterds "Ed Fenech." The IMDb lists her with eighty acting credits, and in the '90s began producing films (26 of them).

Here is a little clip from a film I cannot find; Fenech and NGoN Alum Rosalba Neri in Top Sensation (aka The Seducers, aka Swinging Young Seductresses). The quality is not so hot, and it is in Italian, but it is the only time these two worked together.


Also, a weird clip from La Pretora. Fenech is playing both women. Also in Italian, but better quality video.


Some reviews by people with more experience than I; my horror movie go-to team:

• Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire (Tenebrous Kate)
  
• Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key
  
• Five Dolls for an August Moon
• The Case of the Bloody Iris
• Strip Nude for Your Killer
• Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies (The Vicar of VHS and The Duke of DVD)
• Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key
  
• Ubalda, All Naked and Warm
  
• All the Colors of Dark
  
• The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh
  
• Five Dolls for an August Moon
  

Adventures in Gotham

Miss me over the last few days? You don't have to lie.


Hanging out in NYC for the rest of the week. The wife is at a CME conference, and I am playing the unemployed guy with money in his pocket. Bumming around. Currently having a latté and leek, onion and swiss quiche at The Café Grind on 10th Avenue.

Thus far, we are having a good time. Tuesday night we met fellow blogger Nathan and had pizza and hung out in the rain (that happens in cities, don't it?). He's the first of my interwebz friends I have met in the meat world, and really appreciate him coming up from south Jersey.

Yesterday (Wednesday) I just kicked around by myself most of the day. Made it down to Movie Star News, famously started by Irving Klaw and responsible for us all knowing who Bettie Page is. It is not a browsey kind of place. They have small scale movie posters to search through, but if you want 8x10s you have to ask, I assume. They seem more of an internet business than a real storefront shop, but I found some cool stuff. Oddly, the two things I specifically looked for I found; a poster for the Russell/Mitchum classic Macao and the Tom de Simone WIP classic(?) Prison Girls 3D.

Times Square was next. Oy vey, it is like Disneyland if it were in Hell. The throng of zombie-like tourists, and chain restaurants was maddening. I know, I am a tourist here too, but I do try to fit in a bit. We did find a few cool places off Times Square; O'Brien's was a cool little bar I had a beer in, and Lanagan's had awesome food and no tourists to speak of. I'll likely post some links later, or you can watch my Foursquare history.

Well, I don't want to ride this Café's wifi too long. Meeting one of my favorite bloggers tonight, and likely going to The Museum of Sex tomorrow. Magical? I think so.

Blockhead Zombie Wars

A flash game from Sean T. Cooper and Crazy Monkey Games, Blockhead Zombie Wars is a run-and-gun game similar to Smash TV. You are a lone Rambo-type swimming in a sea of undead. Your goal is simple; survive. [link]

While the game gets a bit repetitive, it does mix things up as you progress. There are zombies, running zombies, mummies, vampires, and devils. There is a range of weapons for offense and strategy. This is one of the few flash games I have seen where you can configure the controls and other game aspects.


It seems to help if you have a game controller as it makes diagonals easier. You shoot in the direction you are moving, which is sensible, but a more Smash TV or Robotron 2084 run and shoot would be preferable.

All-in-all it is a fun little diversion. Kill some time by killing the undead.

Fan-Boy Icon #46 - Rachel Maddow (@maddow)

Sure, the Fan-Boy Icon is typically a male we want to highlight, but in the interest of equality (and since we have had male Nerd Girls of Note) I wanted to mention Rachel Maddow.

If you know anything about me, it might be that I don't pay attention to the news or politics. Frankly, I find the news to be cheesy  and obnoxious; not to mention depressing. Once upon a time I enjoyed Keith Olberman's show (which is off the air), but frankly I stopped watching because the bulk of the show was him going after his opposite numbers at Faux News. This is necessary, I think, but frankly he was preaching to the choir. I already know those guys are douche bags and do not need 45 minutes of reminders. Maddow's show seems less inclined in this direction. I don't watch it often (I don't pick most of the tv viewing in the house), but always find her to be funny and insightful; likely the smartest person on television. Her show is on Monday through Friday at 9PM (EST) on MSNBC, and well worth watching.

Here is a clip I enjoyed comparing the Anthony Weiner scandal to that of sitting senator David Vitter; an arch douche bag if I ever saw one. Includes an interview with super-awesome Larry Flynt.

Nerd Girl of Note #116 - Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj)

I'll be honest with you. Wednesday morning of this week if you asked me who Nicki Minaj was I'd likely have said, "isn't she that chick who looks like Lady Gaga and Lil Kim had a baby?" Well, that would not be giving her much credit. Wednesday and Thursday of this week had me scouring Tumblr for her, and once I found her clips from Saturday Night Live (a show I never watch) I was hooked. Add her Wonder Woman cosplay coupled with a mixtape titled "Beam Me Up, Scotty" and you've got a Nerd Girl of Note.



For most of us, Minaj is a new thing. Her first album, "Pink Friday" came out November 2010, but before that she had been making a name for herself with her "mixtapes" and appearances in Complex magazine. Growing up she went to Manhattan's LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts, specializing in music and drama, and played the clarinet.

I am going to assume she has a great sense of humor, not only for her skilled work on the SNL skits I have seen, but also for being comfortable with silliness. She is rather known for her backside, and rather than hide that, she enhances it; for example the drag queen butt padding here.



Now, I'll also admit that I am more into her as a personality than as a musician. The only song I am familiar with is "Super Bass" which I like. I do enjoy a good personality; much like Rob Zombie, I don't love everything they do, but hope they keep doing it.