Unofficial 2nd Annual Paul Naschy Day

In the spirit of wild and wonderful, we take a side trip from la Semana de Luchar. I offer up La Rebelion de las Muertas, aka Vengeance of the Zombies for your consideration (León Klimovsky, 1973). One, because it is an awesome film, and two, because we are marking the second anniversary of Jacinto Molina's death; the man better known as Paul Naschy, "the Spanish Lon Chaney."

VotZ is my kind of zombie movie. Frankly, I am a bit fed-up with the over-use of Romero-styled plague zombies. This film is one of those rare instances of Voodoo zombies, such as in Sugar Hill, Amazing Mask, or Plague of the Zombies (Vincent Price & Hammer Films). In it, Naschy plays three separate characters. He is the hero, Krisna, the villain, Kantaka, and briefly appears as Satan. While he is more known for playing the werewolf Waldemar Daninsky, this film is completely in his wheelhouse. Naschy is a makeup guy, and likes to portray odd characters. Here he portrays an Indian guru, a man transforming himself into one of the undead, and a goat horned, cloven footed Satan. You can tell that each is Naschy, but he adds a distinction to each.

Naschy as Krisna

Naschy as Kantaka

Naschy as Satan

The story deals with the guru Krisna, now living in Europe, and a string of very giallo murders. Spoilers ahead. We discover that Kantaka, Krisna's brother, is behind them. Kantaka wears typical giallo-slasher wardrobe when on the prowl, to hide his face, but it is obviously Naschy by the man's build. Of course, at this point we only know Naschy to be Krisna, so there is some confusion created. When we discover the reason behind the murders we leave the realm of standard giallo and are sucked into the supernatural.

Now, I have only a limited set of Naschy films under my belt, but this is very likely my favorite. Aside from the costume work, it is a good story, and rather thrilling, even to my horror-jaded sensibilities. I had a few legitimate gasps. My one issue with the film was the actual killing of a chicken in one scene. I don't approve of such things in film. I do think Naschy puts on one of the more sensitive portrayals on an Indian person by a non-Indian actor. It is not a heavy-handed "Apu" version of an Indian man typical of the times. This one is well worth watching, and perhaps my favorite Naschy film.

For more info on Señor Molina, check out my posts from the Paul Naschy Blogathon last year, or the Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies list of blogathon entrants. He is an interesting guy, and did some awesome work. Jacinto, we hardly knew you.

Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstruos (Gilberto Martínez Solares, 1970)

Say what you will about cinema as art, sometimes you want a movie that grabs you right away and boldly shouts, "you will watch me!" Santo and Blue Demon vs the Monsters is such a film. I caught this one on Galavision this weekend, in Spanish (which I do not speak). Now, I am fairly new to Luchador movies, and am not a big fan of wrestling in general, but do appreciate the super-hero aspect of these movies. Sometimes Santo is a James Bond character (as mentioned yesterday) or Batman sin Bruce Wayne. Regardless of role, Santo is the scourge of bad-guys everywhere (or at least in Mexico).

Santo and Blue Demon vs the Monsters is a real mish-mash that the Vicar of VHS described "as if two movie-loving, hyperactive playground buddies were sitting behind the typewriter pounding out everything that entered their sugared cereal-addled brains." The film features a cacophony of monsters, a mad scientist with hunch-backed midget assistant, and just for laughs an evil clone of Blue Demon. We have a horde of zombies (Voodoo-style), three vampires, the wolfman, a mummy, Frankenstein's monster, a cyclops, and a rock creature with an over-sized, highly exposed brain. All this, and only one man to stop them; El Santo.

As I said, I don't speak Spanish, but like Amazing Mask, the storytelling is pretty plain by visuals alone. I did not realize there was a Blue Demon clone, I just thought the mad scientist used some sort of mind control on him, but that would be just as (nay more) probable. I did not understand the mad scientist's motivation, but really, do you need to? He's a mad scientist. He is out for either a) revenge against the scientific community that spurns his research, or b) world domination. Oddly enough both motivations typically yield the same plan, so skipping all the backstory is both appropriate and expedient.

Now, it might seem weird that in one of the big action scenes all of the monsters get in the wrestling ring. The vampire apparently challenges Santo to a match, and when he loses (by seeing a cross) all his monster buddies swarm into the ring, all showing fair wrestling aplomb, to battle Santo and his legion of wrestling buddies. Now, on one hand, the Blue Demon clone might have taught them to wrestle, or it could just be standard genre action logic. In kung fu movies with vampires, the vampires know kung fu. In swashbuckling vampire movies (like Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter) the vampire is a sword master. In the Underworld films, vampires are skilled with handguns. So, obviously, in a luchador movie the vampire will be a wrestler. The other monsters are primarily brutes anyway, so wrestling likely comes natural to them. Like the Vicar, I do not fully understand why the vampire wears a mask. Maybe a stunt double did the wrestling, or it was too hard to keep his prosthetic ears and teeth attached during the wrestling scene?

This film is silly to be sure, but it is so full of awesome to watch it surpasses its limitations. It is kind of  family monster movie. Sort of a Groovie Ghoulies for 'tweens. The cheesecake is limited, the violence is similar to a '70s tv show (sin the heavy gun use). It is an utterly enjoyable bit of film, and hell, if you watch it with your kids, maybe they will be more enthused about learning Spanish?

Fan-Boy Icon #57 - El Santo

Rodolfo Guzmán Huerta was a Mexican wrestler better known as El Santo. Now, wrestling is not my thing, but I do have a soft spot for luchadores, and El Santo is the king. For me, one of the most interesting things is how many films were made (54 according to the IMDb), and how low the availability is in the United States. I have read that only four films were dubbed into English.

I have seen two of the Santo films. Well, one and two-thirds. Santo vs Capulina, and Santo vs the Vampire Women. Both are available on YouTube. The first is mostly a comedy. Capulina is a famous clown, and pretty much used to round out a seemingly non-existent story. Now, it was in Spanish, and the last thirty minutes were missing, but it was easy enough to get the idea. Santo vs the Vampire Women was more solid. A mostly straightforward vampire film. Again, it was in Spanish, but easy enough to follow. Links to both below.

The oddest part of these films is that Santo is always masked. Sleeping, swimming, making sweet love; the mask stays on. Now, Huerta never appeared without his mask until shortly before his death, but it is so humorous to watch a masked man in a suit going about his business and no one questions why. In the films Santo is a bit of a James Bond or Batman. Rich playboy who has gadgets and fights crime, he just does not have an alter-ego.

So, the better of the two films I found was Santo contra las Mujeres Vampiro (Alfonso Corona Blake, 1962), a pretty solid vampire movie in a rather Hammer-style, though based in modern time. The actual story is a bit hard to grasp, as I don't speak Spanish. Basically, a mad scientist wants a vampire. He gets go-go dancers from a local club, the first of which he uses to reconstitute the vampire husk he has found, then other go-go dancers fill the larder. There are also some killings to look into, so Santo is called in to aid the police. The initial vampire takes over the go-go club, tries to kill Santo, makes a lot of new vampires, and eventually bites it. It was a fun film, I just wish I understood the dialogue better. You can see it on Youtube here. Some decent leg action for those so inclined.

Not quite Faster Pussycat,Kill! Kill! but not bad.

Swanky and scary night-club people.

Even swimming, the mask stays on.

Modern science meets ancient myth.

Our vampire hostess.

Even when sleeping, the mask stays on.

Okay, maybe a guy in a mask is not so odd.

Amazing Mask Finale? @amazing_mask

Some of you likely remember all the posts I have done on one of my favorite webseries, Amazing Mask vs the Supernatural Voodoo Woman (Amazing Mask vs la Sobrenatural Mujer Voodoo) from Fan-Boy Icon Dani Moreno, and starring Nerd Girl of Note Dunia Montenegro. You don't? Well, here is the entire five episodes, at least I assume it is the entirety. My Spanish is terrible, but judging by the ending of episode five things seem to be wrapped up. Don't worry though, arch-villain Doctor Calavera is still around so I predict we shall have more Luchador action in the future.

Below is a playlist I created n Youtube with the five episodes, as well as some commercials that I assume are not real, but fun. While it is in Spanish, they are done in such a way that you don't really have to know what is being said to know what is going on. Moreno has great comic-book sensibilities, so the story is told visually just as well as verbally.



On the Interwebz:

• Official Site
• Dani Moreno on Twitter
• Dunia Montenegro on Twitter
• Chaparra Entertainment on Youtube

Nerd Girl of Note #136: Rosanne Katon

Playboy Playmate and Exploitation queen, Rosanne Katon has done most of what is necessary to earn her spot here. She has done some sci-fi, including Logan's Run and Jason of Star Command. Sexploitation films like The Swinging Cheerleaders and Chesty Anderson, USN. Blaxploitation/WIP films The Muthers and Ebony, Ivory & Jade. Classic television like The Facts of Life, Starsky & Hutch, Good Times, Sanford & Son, CHiPs, and The White Shadow. Also a host of other film and television roles. She was Playboy's September Playmate of the Month in 1978.

Katon played "Princess Allegra" on Jason of Star Command series 1

Jason of Star Command (Arthur H. Nadel, 1978-81)

I have talked about this show before, though I had never seen it. Jason of Star Command was a short-format, serialized space opera starring Craig Littler as the eponymous Jason, James "Scotty" Doohan as Commander Canarvin, and the utterly awesome Sid Haig as the evil Dragos. Appearances by Rosanne Katon and July Newmar come early in the run, as does a whopping twelve episodes with Tamara "Cleopatra Jones" Dobson in season two.

The show bears a lot of similarities to Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979), and is certainly part of the race to catch up with Star Wars (1976) and Battlestar Galactica (1978). The sets and decor are more similar to Star Trek and perhaps Doctor Who than the others, though stylistically there are similarities. Jason, for example, looks like a Han Solo knock off, and Dragos looks like he could be Princess Ardala's uncle. Also, the whole dragon-theme bad guy smacks of Buck Rogers, but Jason did come out a year earlier... There are also two annoying robots. One who speaks, and one that has an R2-D2 style of communication that everyone but the viewer understands.

I have to say, it is pretty enjoyable. The eleven minute format certainly keeps things moving along. It is not overly original, but hearkens back to old-timey serials nicely. The main reason to watch is for Sid Haig, who automatically ups the quality of anything he is in, be it a movie, television show, or pay toilet. Haig is perfectly suited for an over-the-top megalomaniac, and does all the heavy lifting in this show. Here is his "death" scene from the end of season one:



It is nice to see Haig and other exploitation stars like Katon and Dobson get some mainstream work, not to mention Francine York (The Doll Squad) doing some episodes. Also nice to see Doohan as not Scotty for a change.

In all, it is a pretty enjoyable show. There are some episodes on Youtube, but I have not really watched them so cannot swear to the quality, or legality.

WIP Wednesday: The Muthers (Cirio H. Santiago, 1976)

The Blaxploitation film  that wasn't. Well, sort of. The Muthers was made near the end of the Filipino exploitation explosion and stars Jeanie Bell (TNT Jackson), Rosanne Katon (Ebony, Ivory & Jade), Trina Parks (Darktown Strutters) and Jayne Kennedy (Body and Soul) as a band of female pirates who invade a coffee plantation prison to rescue Kelly's (Jeannie Bell) sister.

I say it is the "Blaxploitation film  that wasn't" because of a comment by one of the stars of the film in the documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed. Either Jayne Kennedy or Trina Parks mentioned that the roles were not written to be four black women, and despite it being very Blaxploitation geared it did not demand to be such from the script. That is just marketing. The Muthers is often mentioned as the only film to have four black female leads.

Kelly (Bell) is the pirate captain and Angie (Katon) is her lieutenant. When Kelly's sister, Sandy, goes missing they are informed that she is at a prison camp. The local law wants something done about it, as the prison is run by kidnappers rather than the state. They need someone to go in and find out what is happening... That, or they could just throw the pirates in jail. Kelly agrees, and she and Angie find their way into the prison. Inside they meet our tough veteran, Marcie (Parks), and begin the search between field labor and shower scenes. They also meet our fourth player, Serena (Kennedy) who is the warden's favorite but also friends with Marcie.

Ultimately, the idea that this is not truly Blaxploitation is a valid one. This could have been four women of any race, or even women of various races. It also could have been men. The WIP angle is pretty limited, and in the end it is very much a Chuck Norris movie, save that you don't have the deficit of Chuck Norris being in it. It is a decent, fairly well planned, fairly well acted action film full of gun-play and martial arts. The acting is not terrible. Kennedy and Katon are likely the high points there. Worth checking out, if you can find it.

Jeannie Bell as "Kelly" Captain of The Muthers

Rosanne Katon as "Angie" Lieutenant of The Muthers

Trina Parks as "Marcie" Hardened Veteran

Jayne Kennedy as "Serena" Head Trustee

Dr. Who & the Daleks (Gordon Flemyng, 1965)

This is an odd one. While First Doctor William Hartnell was still doing the television program Doctor Who, Hammer Films competitor Amicus Productions came out with Dr. Who & the Daleks. Peter Cushing portrays the Doctor, and is openly referred to as "Doctor Who." It is far from being cannon, in my limited First Doctor experience, though it does have the aftermath of the war between the Daleks and the Thals set on planet Skaro.

In this film, it appears that Dr. Who is completely human, and has built his TARDIS himself. As I understand things, it was not clear that the First Doctor was in fact a time lord, only that he was from another dimension. I imagine they had a lot of room to play with the background, and in typical film adaptation style decided to get the back-story out of the way quickly.

From a film standpoint, it is fairly standard sci-fi for the time. Not as hokey as much. It has a rather Disney feel to it, and you can almost see Dick Van Dyke playing companion Ian Chesterton rather than Roy Castle. There is a great deal of slapstick humor from Ian. The set pieces look like Star Trek in many ways.

If you are sensitive about your Doctor, this might not be the film for you, but as many of us these days are unfamiliar with the Hartnell Doctor it might be a good history lesson of sorts. It is fun, if occasionally stupid, and I imagine was pretty impressive in 1965. Plus, you can check it out for free online (links below).



On Hulu or Youtube

Fan-Boy Icon #56: Vincent D'Onofrio

Now, I think many of you know that I am not a fan of cop shows, though I occasionally, occasionally, make exceptions for Law & Order: Criminal Investigations. Mostly because of today's Fan-Boy Icon, Vincent D'Onofrio. Now, while most of us know him for L&O, he has two other pretty iconic roles, one greater than the other. First, he was "Private Pyle" in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket (1987). Second, he was in Tarsem Signh's The Cell (2000). The Cell is the one I want to talk about here, because it is a fairly underrated film, even by me.

The thing about The Cell is it is a beautifully done movie, directed by Tarsem Singh, but the story and some of the acting is a tad lackluster. The reason to watch it are for the visuals and D'Onofrio's performance. He plays crazy with a lot of zeal, and playing a warped serial killer might be his wheelhouse. He has great body language, which he even adds to the Law & Order role, where he plays a cop who is a tad unbalanced. In The Cell he really gets to play this up, taking on cartoon-ish, malevolent, and child-like aspects. He is at his best in the dream-world portion of the film, where his character is set up as an evil king. If you have not seen The Cell, check it out, or if you saw it and did not care for it, give it another look. The ending falls apart a bit, but for the most part it is very enjoyable.

Nerd Girl of Note #135: Cynthia Myers

Russ Meyer vixen and December 1968 Playboy Playmate Cynthia Myers died this past weekend at 61. As of this writing, the cause of death has not been released. Myers was Playboy's first playmate born in the 1950s,and oddly enough was photographed prior to her eighteenth birthday. Playboy did not release the photos until after she turned eighteen. I won't post it here, but there is an excellent scan of her centerfold here.

Beside her Playboy appearance, Myers is likely most famous for one of the four films she appeared in, Russ Meyers Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970), which was Uncle Russ' only big studio film. She also appeared in Hammer Film's The Lost Continent as an uncredited Native Girl, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (also uncredited), and Molly and Lawless John. Cynthia was stunningly beautiful, and easily one of the most popular Playmates in Playboy history.

WIP Wednesday: Women in Chains (Bernard L. Kowalski, 1972)

How popular were WIP films in the '70s? Well, ABC did a "Movie of the Week" in 1972 called Women in Chains, and aside from the lack of gratuitous nudity, it appears to be every bit a standard WIP film. Below is a trimmed down version from YouTube user "Pirated Video" which cuts the fat from the lean.

Our "good girl" is also our "concerned outsider" in the person of Sandra Parker (film and television character actor, Lois Nettleton). Our sadistic matron is Claire Tyson (film legend Ida Lupino). The rest of the cast is made up of unknowns, though a few you might recognize from other television shows, and the characters are fairly standard fair.

Oh, and you ever wonder why there is so much nudity in your grindhouse WIP films? Apparently so they don't have to do endless scenes of inmate cabin fever. This film is pretty rampant with it. If they could have done a shower scene or two, but hey...

The Seducers (Ottavio Alessi, 1969)

aka Top Sensation, aka Swinging Young Seductresses

I received two warning about this film from the most excellent Tenebrous Kate. First, it is not worth the effort of finding. Second, I would ignore the first warning and get it any way. Touché, Empress, touché. I did indeed search all the more fervently for this one after said warnings, proving the veracity of her powers of prophecy. How could I not, though? Let's face it, Rosalba Neri and Edwige Fenech in various states of undress, even rolling around on each other for the better part of ninety minutes. I am only a man.

On the first point we shall have to agree to disagree. No, it is not a great movie, but I felt it was worth watching. Neri especially, but Fenech as well, often transcend the typical acting boundaries of the "B" movie actress, particularly the typically naked "B" movie actress. The Seducers lets them do some nice work, even if it is in a limited scope.

The story? Oh, yeah.

Some rich old broad with a yacht and a weirdo son, Tony, take some young acquaintance (read lover) and his wife Paola (Rosalba Neri, also her lover) into the Mediterranean with another young woman, Ulla (Edwige Fenech). The mother thinks if her son loses his virginity he will be cured of his mental problems. Ulla is supposed to make a man of him, but he is completely uninterested. While the entire boat (save Tony) is doing the mommy-daddy dance (or mommy-mommy dance) the boat runs onto a sandbar and gets stuck. Tony high-tails it for the associated island, and the one man on the boat and Ulla are charged with collecting him. There is a side plot of trying to get more money out of the old lady, but things are pretty shaky here.

Plot-wise, I am fairly with Kate. It is a flimsy story, and perhaps not all that original. I did however like how loathsome all the people on the boat were. They are really pretty vile people, and make no excuses for it, nor does director Alessi. The bulk of the acting is pretty poor, though Neri and Fenech make a convincing pair of ne'er-do-well rich chicks who will do anything to get richer. Watching two of Eurosleaze's most beautiful women gush all over a rather filthy peasant, then making slight, disgusted looks when he is not looking was pretty artful.






FreeVideoCoding.com

The reason to watch this one is all Rosalba Neri though. I have had an infatuation with Neri since I discovered her, but frankly thought Fenech was more attractive. When you put the two together there is no contest. Maybe it is just this particular film, but Fenech is merely beautiful. When in a scene together Neri sucks all the light from her. I seemed to only notice Fenech when Neri was not on screen with her. Perhaps it is just this film, and maybe Fenech's role demands a lesser sexuality. Neri's Paola is carnality personified, and oozes sex from start to finish.

Anyway, this is a hard one to find. When I finally found it at a reasonable price on eBay it was a DVD-R, likely a VHS ripped bootleg. The picture quality is pretty lousy, but the bootleg is professionally done, with a nicely/professionally printed DVD. If you are a Neri fan, definitely look for it. She is stunning in this film. If you want a fairly dirty Eurosleaze murder story, and like me do not get into Giallo, it might suit you as well. Fenech fans... I am not sure what to tell you, except something very odd goes on with her in one scene. I'll leave it at that.

Howling II (Philippe Mora, 1985)

If there is one thing to be learned from Howling II it is this: werewolves love the titties. Perhaps as much as director Philippe Mora. There are titties everywhere in this movie, some seemingly out of place. One definitely out of place when new "survival of the clan" werewolf, Mariana (Marsha A. Hunt), is presented to the werewolf queen, Stirba (Sybil Danning), with one breast pulled out of the top of her dress. Not both.

Aside from the pulchritude of breasts, we have a decent vampire movie. Did I say "vampire" movie? Why yes, I did. Maybe that is because these particular werewolves, particularly Mariana and Stirba, cannot be slain with silver bullets but rather a titanium stake thrust through the heart. Stirba also has the need to maintain her youth and bountiful bosom by sucking the souls from young, shapely girls, a la Elizabeth Bathory. Stirba also has many magical powers, many of which are more typically attributed to vampires. Oh, and a bat totem... Well, no one ever accused the Howling series of being true to werewolf lore, now did they?

Otherwise, it is a decent romp. Christopher Lee is in it, which certainly helps. Danning is impressive in her weird garb and furry nakedness. Marsha Hunt is pretty breathtaking at times. There is a big werewolf orgy, which I imagine makes sense, and a killer dwarf thrown in for good measure.

One oddity. Well, one I am going to mention. You know how when a word is said repeatedly for a decent amount of time, say five minutes, and it loses it meaning and just becomes noise? Well prior to the credits they show a montage of scenes from the film, accompanied by the one song the producers paid for, and they show Sybil Danning ripping off her shirt about thirty times. While I will admit to enjoying a topless Sybil Danning, eventually it just got silly. I think the producers realized they only showed her topless once, save those times whilst covered in fur, and thought they'd better get the most out of it/them. Eventually they stop being naked breasts and start being a reminder of just how long the montage is going on.

"The Many Loves of Lady Derp"

I have ni dead why, but this has been my most popular post on Tumblr. Within 24 hours it was approaching 400 notes (likes and reblogs). I had posted the original picture with similar text to a lukewarm response, but making my own pulp cover seemed to strike a chord.



Now, of course, the dilettante in me wants to write "The Many Loves of Lady Derp" -- a feat I doubt I am up to, but did actually start. If I do write it, I'll post it here. If not, I'll post the tiny bit I have already done. We'll see how it goes.

Nerd Girl of Note #134: Jennifer Love Hewitt (@TheReal_Jlh)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is perhaps the most ignored member of the B-Movie community. Don't get me wrong, she is successful, and well know, but I think she falls into the "A" crowd for the most part, yet much of her work is very "B" movie fans positive. Coming from me, this is obviously not a dig, but rather praise. Hewitt's exploitation resume is pretty good, when you think about it. Two I Know What You Did Last Summer films, both horror/teensploitation, The Tuxedo with Jackie Chan (an "A" film with a "B" film's soul), and she did the voice of Medusa on Disney's Hercules. Then, of course there is her latest long-running venture, The Ghost Whisperer.

Scoff if you must, but The Ghost Whisperer is pretty well done, both from a watchability standpoint, and a marketing standpoint. It is not overly "chicks only" but appeals to the Lifetime Network's audience. It has a mixture of Charmed and Touched By An Angel, so it appeals to most age groups. Add its cast of revolving recurring characters, and it gains longevity. And there are not a bunch of slouches going in and our. Camryn Manheim, Aisha Tyler, Jay Mohr, and Jamie Kennedy.

So, give JLH some love, would ya?