If you are sensitive to spoilers, turn back now.
Just to be safe, adding some space with Scarlett Johansson's boobs...
Are you gone yet? No? Good, let us continue.
First I will say it is by no means an un-fun film. There is some cool stuff going on and it is rather exciting. Highpoints:
- The way The Hulk is a bit of a Kaiju monster was nice. They didn't overdo the "Hulk Smash" shit that everyone does to death. There was some Hulk comedy, but thankfully they reined it in. Watching The Hulk thrash Loki like rag doll was both amazingly funny and amazingly horrifying; a combination I can get behind. Aside from that, Mark Ruffalo (Shutter Island, Zodiac) as Bruce Banner was the least "tropey" performance of the film.
- I am glad they had the balls to demolish New York. I love Manhattan, but since 2002 it seems everyone wants to treat NYC with kid gloves. Lets face it, if you are a Marvel-based terror from outer space, what city are you going after? It has to be New York, and you have to do your best to fuck shit up. Kudos for getting out collective balls out of our purses.
- Loki, as portrayed again by Tom Hiddleston (War Horse), was delightfully menacing and manic. When he was chewing out Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and called her a "mewling quim" Theresa and I both let out a "holy fuck!"
- Sam Jackson as John Shaft as Nick Fury. He's not the greatest part of the film, and phones it in a bit, but lets face it, Nick Fury is a bit of a Blaxploitation spy anyway. Jackson putting some Shaft in him works. Speaking of which, why were we all in an uproar about a black Spider-Man but not a black Nick Fury? I digress...
We spend half the film dealing with the obligatory "I don't like you, you're a freak/goodie-two-shoes/offworlder/pain-in-the-ass," back and forth. There were some really misspent weepy moments too. When Loki is threatening the crowd in Germany and the old man stands up to him that could have been great. It so rang of Superman II when the people of Metropolis think that General Zod (Terence Stamp, The Phantom Menace, et al) has killed Superman. Sadly, Captain America cock-blocks the proceedings before the tough old man can inspire his fellows to get off their knees.
I guess the biggest problem is that while the film was enjoyable to watch, I still do not give a shit about any of these characters. All the character interaction was snark without substance until they finally come together as a team, and then it is too much, too soon. The portion of the film that should have cemented them as a team really only involved Iron Man and Captain America.
So, if you have not seen it and have read this far... Watch it if you want. It is fun and it is exciting. It is not, however, the greatest super hero film ever.