Adventures in Nerdliness

Nerd Girl of Note #140: Rebecca Ferratti

2012-01-27T08:00:00.000-05:00

Between the name and the looks you would naturally want to think Rebecca Ferratti was an Italian actress, but Ms Ferratti is a Montana girl oddly enough. Apparently she competed professionally in martial arts, according to her IMDb Bio, was the June 1986 Playmate of the Month. and has several acting credits spanning from 1978 to 2007.

She is best known to me as "Talena" from the Gor movies which do show her to be quite athletic (if a bit stiff at times in the sword fights), and not a bad actor, particularly when sandwiched between numerous really bad actors and the awesomeness of Oliver Reed and Jack Palance.

Unfortunately, Ferratti's acting career did not go too far despite its longevity. She has twenty-five acting credits according to her IMDb entry, some of which are prominent roles, but numerous others are credits like "Sexy Woman", "Game Show Hostess", "Playboy Playmate", or my favorite "Señorita Kissing Ned" — the unfortunate plight of the B Movie actress who finds her way into mainstream films like Beverly Hills Cop or Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. So, as is our want in the Nerd Girls of Note world, lets give the lady a look. Check out some of her films if you get a chance. Gor streams on Netflix (my review) and the MST3K version of Outlaw of Gor is on Youtube. You can also stream Cyborg 3 (Zach Galligan) on Netflix.

From a Playboy calendar

As "Talena" in Gor

A silly little video from Playboy featuring Ferratti. There is some nudity, but not egregious.

Gor (Fritz Kiersch, 1987)

2012-01-26T20:19:00.002-05:00

You know how many of we B Movie lovers like to say some movies are so bad they are good? Well, I would be inclined to say that here, but instead I will call it like I see it and say this is a bad movie except in one regard. The stunt work is pretty awesome.

While technically a sci-fi movie "based on" John Norman's Tarnsman of Gor, deep down this is a barbarian movie that stands firmly with films like Conan the Barbarian, The Sword and the Sorcerer, and Deathstalker. It is sword-fights-a-go-go, and while the aforementioned films certainly have sword-fights in spades Gor stands out for the sheer energy and cartoonish nature of said scenes (I say cartoonish in a good way).

First, there are some pretty awesome stunt women in this one. Whomever is the stunt double for Rebecca Ferratti (Talena) is awesome. It is either Angel Castignani or Carmen Babnick as there are only two female stunt performers. Unfortunately there is little information on either, though it appears that Carmen Babnick was the double as the IMDb lists her as Ferratti's stunt double in the sequel, Outlaw of Gor (aka Gor II). Ferratti is fairly poor in the fight sequences that are clearly her, but when her double swoops in it is pretty magical.

Regarding the cartoonish nature, there is a series of scenes with Paul L. Smith, better known perhaps as Bluto from the Popeye movie or "The Beast Raban" from Dune. Every violent action he takes sends barbarian garbed extras flying off screen. At one point he turns over a table he was sitting at and the others seated go flying off like crazy. This seems silly, but it is so well done that I can't help but to enjoy it.

On the down/up side is the mixed emotions over the inclusion of the King of Awesome, Oliver Reed. Reed is our villain, Sarm, and is all Oliver Reed. He is all the menacing charm of his numerous bad guy roles, and does not phone it in, despite acting circles around the rest of the cast. You do get the feeling that he perhaps had a pretty staggering bar tab somewhere and took the job to settle up? The other is the inclusion of Jack Palance as Xenos. Palance is another one of those awesome actors that do not get cast in big things as often as they should, and more often wind up in low budget turds like this one.

Well, all this being said, the second half of the film falls off a bit. It is actiony, and we get a lot of Reed being malevolent, but as is typical of B Movies all the good ideas went into the first thirty minutes, then there is a bit of a scramble to get to the desired end. As for Jack Palance, he doesn't show up until the last ten minutes, only to foreshadow the sequel, which was likely shot immediately afterward.

If you love barbarian movies, definitely check it out. If you are a fan of the book, or not a fan for that matter, no worries as it is so far removed as to be unrecognizable. It is as though the writers were given some undefined terms from the book and charged with defining them for the film. It is not a good movie, but it is rather enjoyable, at least for a while, and they actually go against a lot of Norman's inferred ideas about freedom from the first Gor book. Deathstalker fans should definitely be pleased.

He may be a nerdy professor on the outside, but he's a second rate John Carter on the inside!

She's a little stiff, but Rebecca Ferratti certainly looks the part.

"I can't believe I waxed my chest for this."

Good form.

"Oli, you smell like whiskey."

The obligatory "rule with me" scene.

Three shrouded prisoners. One was Talena. Whodathunkit?

No idea where this other girl came from, but she was integral to the plot for ten minutes.

"I used to be an adventurer, until I took an arrow to the neck."

Cue the Whitesnake power ballad.

Palance creeping around backstage.

The Pope of Disney Village

Nerd Hope: John Carter (Andrew Stanton, 2012)

2012-01-24T11:40:00.001-05:00

Here is me being cautiously hopeful for the pending Disney release of John Carter, based on the character from Edgar Rice Burroughs.

John Carter's adventures on Mars, or 'Barsoom' in the language of the books, span decades of writing and are in my opinion the most influential science fiction stories ever produced. They are easily accessible pulp fiction that call back to the time of knights and chivalry. The first book, A Princess of Mars is the semi-basis for this movie, detailing Carter's advent on Barsoom and his meeting/falling in love with Dejah Thoris, the titular Princess. Likely, most of you have already heard of the film, and Burroughs fans are likely with me in a sense of anticipation mixed with the deep-seated assurance that it will be woefully inaccurate. Here is my plan for going into the film.

First, as the John Carter stories are so ingrained in the science fiction genre the hero is now more archetype than character. Just as Superman and Batman can be molded by different artists, so can John Carter. As long as Disney sticks to the basic attributes we should be fine. Carter is honest, brave, trustworthy, fierce, loyal and kind. I worry they will try to give him a bad-boy edge, but since he inspired both Conan and Elric I guess it is not completely out of line (just mostly). Fortunately, writer/director Andrew Stanton is a Disney institution with writing credits for most all of Disney's recent hits including all three Toy Story films. I think if he can make Woody and Buzz Lightyear true-blue good guys which the public adores, he will not have a problem with John Carter. So, while I hope they keep Carter in character I do not intend to nit-pick.

Second, I am going to go into this hoping that Disney and Stanton honestly want to make a great film of this. For all his ubiquity, John Carter was not on everyone's radar in recent years, and most of the books, I believe, are not in print. The stories were started one hundred years ago, and people have been trying to film them ever since. I think they were wise to copy the Michael Whelan style for the tharks, or Green Men of Barsoom (pictured right). There are certainly things that must be avoided. For one thing, most everyone runs around Barsoom nude, and not even the pulp artists who have done book covers go all the way with this, but from what I have seen the visuals are much of what I see in my head.

Lastly, we finally have a big screen, big budget attempt and a beloved character. I know I will not say "it was just like reading the book" at any point, but movies are a different medium. Frankly, I refuse to think it will be horrible, and even if they stray wildly from the book, if they can keep the basics in line I think we will have an enjoyable re-telling of a great story. Hopefully it will engender a new love for the old books and bring new fans to the Burroughs world.

If you are unfamiliar with Burroughs, he is also the creator of Tarzan. You can find many of his works free in various formats at Project Gutenberg, here.

Premature Book Review: Tarnsman of Gor (John Norman, 1966)

2012-01-23T10:30:00.000-05:00

Superficially, this is an Edgar Rice Burroughs, Princess of Mars clone. The hero, Tarl Cabot, is transported from Earth to Gor. Gor is called the Counter-Earth by Cabot's father, as he believes it to be in our Earth's solar orbit, but in opposition. If this is the case, then Gor's existence is unknown to man of 1966 as the sun is always between us and the Counter-Earth. The similarities to Burrough's Martian tales are not limited to the transport between worlds. There is a Priest-King caste that rules all religious aspects of Gor, like the Holy Therns of Barsoom, and when a man becomes too aged to be useful he will often make the journey to their sacred mountains; a journey none have returned from; this is similar to the Barsoomian journey down the River Iss. There is also a strong class/caste system which is more detailed by Norman than by Burroughs. In the Martian tales, Burroughs is recreating tales of knights and chivalry, so the warriors are the primary class of interest. In the Gorean saga we have a stronger sense of class warfare, particularly over Tarl Cabot's opposition to the Gorean institution of slavery.

Now, the Gorean Saga has the reputation for being a BDSM version of the Martian tales, and I have seen mentions that Norman is pro-slavery. Thus far this is not made clear in the book, though I must assume that Tarl Cabot's point of view is predominantly that of Norman, and two passages seem to indicate his disgust for the nature of Gor.

Regarding slavery:

"The caste system was socially efficient, given its openness with respect to merit, but I regarded it as somehow ethically objectionable. It was still too rigid, in my opinion, particularly with respect to the selection of rulers from the High Castes and with respect to the Double Knowledge. But far more deplorable than the caste system was the institution of slavery. There were only three statuses conceivable to the Gorean mind outside of the caste system: slave, outlaw, and Priest-King."

Regarding caste:

"I was pleased to note that my own caste, that of the Warriors, was accorded the least status; if I had had my will, the warriors would not have been a High Caste. On the other hand, I objected to the Initiates [clergy] being in the place of honor, as it seemed to me that they, even more than the Warriors, were nonproductive members of society. For the Warriors, at least, one could say that they afforded protection to the city, but for the Initiates one could say very little, perhaps only that they provided some comfort for ills and plagues largely of their own manufacture."

To my mind, these passages indict both slavery and religion as institutions. Once Tarl Cabot is given his first (perhaps last) slave, he immediately frees her and returns her to her family. There is some discussion of the various nature of slaves. Cabot speaks of pleasure slaves and how they seem ill-fitted for any other use, where the slave he frees he sees an a worthy person (whom it appears was a slave through capture and conquest). While this might indicate Norman's advocation of sex slavery, it might also indicate his belief that this state exists in our enlightened world despite the fact that we rarely call it by that name.

As for the BDSM aspect, I have not reached anything standard in this regard, though most reviewers seem to point it out. Also, this [right] is the current cover for the book, so it seems the publishers feel the same. Norman also wrote a sex manual, Imaginative Sex which details male dominant role play among couples. I have not read this, and will not comment much, though I will say that the use of "role play" indicates that Norman would not necessarily be a misogynist, no more than Anne Desclos (aka Pauline Réage, Story of O). People's predilections are not always our own, and as I hope is typical of me I will not judge.

In all, the book is nicely written pulp sci-fi. I am a mere 37% into it at the time of this writing, but the Martian tales comparisons are already falling away, though they will certainly return, particularly as the second book seems to deal with the Priest-Kings, just as the second Barsoom book dealt with the Holy Therns. It is hard to not imitate Burroughs. Everyone has been influenced by the man's writings. Thus far I find it to be an enjoyable bit of pulp, with a slight philosophical edge to it. It doesn't ask much of the reader, though you can certainly think about it a great deal if you are so inclined.

Nerd Girl of Note #139: Emilie Autumn

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

I came across Emilie Autumn by accident, and completely forget where on the interwebz, but have grown a bit fond of her. Currently she has two albums out and a new one coming this year. The one I am familiar with is Opheliac, a gloomy Victorian meets '80s new wave collection full of heavy synth as well as harpsichord and violin.

Autumn's style sits somewhere between Gothic and "Steam Fop" with a touch of Otaku-friendly style. The songs on Opheliac are predominantly dark and tend to be heavy on suicide and child abuse, as well as songs like "Thank God I'm Pretty" which are a tad more ironic and/or attacks on society.

I do have to wonder a bit about her intent. She is a pretty talented violinist and singer, and her music is generally well produced... though at times it feels like pandering to the socially awkward. I guess a similar claim could be made regarding most pop stars, be it Lady Gaga or Amanda Palmer. Certainly she is not cranking out material like mad; only two album releases since 2003. But at her website the first thing I noticed was the link to her biography at her web shop, and a large "Get Shopping" link. Obviously she needs to support herself as an artist, but this kind of marketing seems at odds with the fringe persona she portrays. Conversely, her web shop is a disaster, filled with "Coming so, so soon...please check back!" mentions that lead me to believe the shop is necessary, yet an afterthought.

Regardless, I like her music and if her baring of soul is merely a character, well she would not be the first and at least the character is interesting.

Web Site

One of my favorites from Opheliac:

Premature Book Review: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (Ransom Riggs, 2011)

2012-01-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ransom Riggs' first novel, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children is a hybrid of sorts. The story revolves around children with special gifts and is inspired by odd photographs which the author assures are actual, untouched photos except for some minor modifications. That is not to say the photos depict real things. Certainly these are photographic illusions, but are purported to be old camera trick photographs. You know. Before there was photoshop.

One of the creepier photos, though these two do not seem to appear in the story.

Our hero is Jacob Portman, a young suburban rich kid who idolizes his grandfather who showed him photographs and told him stories of the wonderful children in them, and the place they are from. Most of the family thinks the old man is either nuts, or the stories are his way of dealing with the trauma of being a Slav in late 1930s Poland. Either way, Jacob eventually disbelieves the stories which leads to the tarnishing of the image he has of grandpa. After his grandfather dies, theoretically from an animal attack during a psychotic episode, Jacob is sent to a psychiatrist to help deal with the problems. Eventually this leads him to the island his grandfather told the stories about, and to the beginning of the real story.

I must say, this was an extremely enjoyable book. I finished it in several days, which for me is the typical duration of a comic book (I am a slow reader). The story is fast moving and coherent. The pictures are included at appropriate points, and with appropriate breaks so that you do not need to find where to stop reading to view it. There are several characters which are well developed, and several that are secondary but developed sufficiently to give them character when they appear, but not creating a ton of less-than meaningful text.

Now, while the protagonists are predominantly teenagers, it is not exactly a young-adult book. The language gets a tad salty, if I may use so archaic a term. It is not sexually charged, and not entirely inappropriate for teens, but it is also not a youth book that adults could enjoy as much as it is an adult book that could be enjoyed by teens, like Catcher in the Rye or Treasure Island. If you like a bit of fantasy and a bit of horror it is well worth your time.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (David Fincher, 2011)

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

Normally I miss the "big thing" books and movies, and certainly would have avoided this one were more in control of my movie-going schedule. My favorite example is The Silence of the Lambs, which I have not read, and did not see on film until probably 1999, eight years after its release. I am, however, happy I did get to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. this past weekend.

I have not seen all of the Swedish version of the film, but the wife says it is similar with a few modifications. Frankly I was concerned that Hollywood would tone it down a bit. There are some particularly disturbing scenes in the original which I thought a version intended for US audiences would have shied away from. Also, I was afraid it would be too slick. Warning, the opening credits looks like a Bond film with the only music they could come up with to indicate Sweden; Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" performed by Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) and Atticus. When this came on I literally covered my face and wondered just what in the hell I had gotten myself into. Fortunately, once the opening credits ended, so too did the overly polished feel.

I will say that Daniel Craig was an excellent choice for protagonist Mikael Blomkvist, and while I preferred Noomi Rapace's portrayal of co-protagonist Lisbeth Salander, Rooney Mara was quite good if a tad overly sensuous for the role. Craig did not force a Swedish accent (few of the actors did) and easily shed his James Bond image to become a serious, if overly attractive, investigative journalist.

Fortunately I did not know the story so well that I predicted the ending. As is always the case with murder mysteries you know that if the butler didn't do it then the least likely candidate did, but they did a nice job of not tipping their hand. The story has a bit of a Phillip Marlowe feel... a sort of creeping paranoia that lacks direction and is not so strong as to make it the sole point of the movie.

In all it was pretty enjoyable. There were some things I might have changed, but not much. It is a nice looking film and hearkens back to the '70s and '80s in many ways. If you like a good serial killer investigation movie, and don't mind a little rapiness then I recommend it.

Premature Book Review: 1Q84 (Haruki Murakami, 2011)

2012-01-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have been a fan of Haruki Murakami for some time now. I am particularly fond of Kafka on the Shore, The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, and A Wild Sheep Chase. I was understandably excited that a new book by the author was out and got it as soon as it was available. The new book is 1Q84.

I have finished the book, which might lead one to wonder why I am still listing it as a "Premature Book Review" rather than simply a review. Two thing; one, I call most all of my reviews "Premature" as that is the feature's title, and two because I am concerned that I need to give it another read.

The basic story is of Tengo Kawana, a maths prodigy who grew to teach maths at a cram school (Japanese examination preparation school) who is also an aspiring author. His "friend" Komatsu who is an editor gets him involved with reworking a book written by seventeen year-old Eriko Fukada, aka Fuka Eri, who has written an amazing story which is told in a not-so amazing way. Komatsu convinces Tengo to rework the text so that it may win a new author's prize. This is fraudulent activity, so Tengo is uneasy, but once he begins writing he is sucked into the work.

The other side of the story involves Aomame, a girl that Tengo knew from grade school who has grown up to be an assassin. She becomes involved with Tengo from another side of the story, and the two are unaware of each other's involvement. Both the book, and Aomame's final victim, are associated with a religious cult. The cult in unhappy about the book, and the assassination and are out to get both of them.

I enjoyed the book a great deal, but found myself getting lost at times. It is quite long, weighing in at 925 pages, and previous portions become rather clouded. Murakami is good about refreshing your memory when these clouded points become important again, but I tend to feel this is poor form. If your argument is too long for the salient points to remain in the reader's mind, then you need to start trimming some of the fat.

Another problem is the supernatural aspect. All of Murakami's fiction is supernatural. You expect it, however he still tries to sneak it in on you, and it is not typically blatant. This is in many ways his most obliquely supernatural book, which detracts from the magic. In Kafka on the Shore, for example, the supernatural aspects rear their heads rarely but with great force. Even his previous novel, After Dark, which is not a favorite of mine had such forceful scenes that created legitimate fear in the reader. That is perhaps what 1Q84 is missing. There is no serious sense of horror. The most dangerous inhumans are more comical that fear-inducing, and even the danger from the cult seems rather bland, particularly when compared to the faceless man of previous novels, or the vicious Johnny Walker of Kafka on the Shore.

Murakami completists will definitely want to check this one out, but for new initiates it is not his best work. I do not intend to be too hard on the man, he has after all given us several really solid novels and a legion of worthy short stories; much more than many renowned authors have been capable.

Fan-Boy Icon #60: Ralph Bakshi

2012-01-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

Cartoonist Ralph Bakshi is one of those wonderful people who get to swing around the acceptability pole. He did the old Lord of the Rings animated film, The Amazing Spider-Man series in the late '60s, and even a run of Mighty Mouse in the 1980s on the acceptable side, then there is the Who Framed Roger Rabbit-styled Cool World in the semi-acceptable side, and Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic on the less acceptable side. Other well known works include the Frank Frazetta inspired Fire and Ice and the cult classic Wizards.

One of the things Bakshi is well known for is the mixture of standard animation and Rotoscope, a method of animating over live action film. The Lord of the Rings is a great example of this, as many of the characters (particularly the hobbits) are predominantly standard animation while many battles take place in a Rotoscope fashion, giving them a bit of naturalness.

Check out some of Bakshi's other credits at the IMDb.

A Ring Wraith from The Lord of the Rings

Princess Teegra from Fire and Ice

Frodo and Gandalf

Wizards

Fritz the Cat

Mighty Mouse

Brad Pitt and the animated Kim Basinger from Cool World

Heroes of Neverwinter

2012-01-11T08:25:00.001-05:00

The thing that originally made me succumb to getting on Facebook was that I heard there was a D&D game on it. Well... Let's just say I was unimpressed. It was slow and all reading, and all you got to do was make one of typically two choices, and the adventures were not geared to individual classes. Now Hasbro and Atari have come out with a new version reminiscent of classic D&D video games like Pools of Radiance; it is Heroes of Neverwinter.

Now, HoN is far from a perfect example of D&D, but is certainly more fun than its predecessor. To start you get o create two characters, choosing between four classes (Fighter, Cleric, Rogue, and Wizard) and four races (Dragonborn, Human, Halfling, and Eladrin). You can adjust ability scores as you see fit if you customize, or simply choose to take a pre-made character who's appearance can be modified to a point.

Like most Facebook games it encourages having your friends play. Once you have 20 friends in your "warband" you get an additional character slot, and you can send/receive gifts. Your friends' character can be used to go on adventures (up to three to make a four character party) or you can enlist mercenaries if you have no friends who play. If a friend is playing your character, and you are not currently in a dungeon, you can request to spectate and are able to provide a certain number of buffs. If you spectate through the end of the adventure the character being watched gets experience.

In many ways, the game embodies the notion that Fourth Edition is pure combat. You go on adventures and kill everything you can in order to get treasure and level up. The role play aspect is limited. Some adventures end with the choice to get the bad guy, or take the treasure offered and leave. Otherwise, all powers and abilities are driven to enhance your combat presence.

It can be a rather fun game, though there is a lot of slogging to get treasure so you can get better equipment and level up. Combat mechanics differ slightly from Fourth Edition rules, such as the Eladrin fey step ability is a free action rather than a move action (which I prefer), and flanking means that at least two allies are adjacent to the target, rather than having to be in opposing squares. You only get one at-will power, and unfortunately most of your encounter powers are only slightly better damage dealers, though they often effect multiple targets or have additional effects (ongoing damage, stunning, etc).

My biggest complaint is the typical Facebook "hey, you can spend real money to get ahead" thing. Not simply because I don't want to spend money, but because the game is still listed as a Beta. If it were a final product perhaps, but as things stand what if everything I have done disappears once the Beta stage is over? Losing hours of grind-time is one thing, losing actual money is quite another.

If you are interested, you can find Heroes of Neverwinter here. You must have a Facebook account, obviously. If you need friends who play, you can friend me here, or check out the Heroes of Neverwinter Neighbors community to find other players to friend.

A comic I did a while back about playing in Neverwinter

Nerdrage Over 5e?

2012-01-10T08:46:00.001-05:00

I saw this image on blogger buddy Tim Brannan's The Other Side as I was trying to find a suitable image for this post. It is originally from theweem.com. This may be an oddly convoluted post, and I do not guarantee continuity, nor conclusion.

No doubt many of you have heard the announcement that Wizards of the Coast owners Hasbro have announced that a new edition of Dungeons & Dragons is in development, and the Nerdiverse was agog with... well, mostly ire. This is extremely common. New editions always fuel edition wars. The switch to 4e was so disliked that it caused a whole new game, Pathfinder, to be born based on D&D 3.5 rules under the d20 open license.

Now, I do not love every edition of D&D, but as the graphic says, whatever is being played, I will play it. I am not a huge fan of 2nd Edition or 3.5e, but those are mechanics based dislikings rather than spite for change. What Hasbro is doing that is semi-smart is asking for player input.

The biggest problem with edition wars is how silly they get. The major complaint about 4e is that it does not foster role-play and is too much like World of Warcraft. This is sill on several levels. First, role-play is just a style of playing. You can role-play Yatzee if you really want to. The mechanics of 4e are primarily for combat, but in truth there have never been hard-and-fast rules for role-playing in any edition. Sure, 1st Edition had charts on what races got along or hated each other and provided modifiers to interaction based on these, but ultimately it was up to the Dungeon Master. You, as DM may say that dwarves and elves get along swimmingly, or that half-orcs are considered rare and beautiful. Throw those charts out the window then. A modern example is in my current game where the DM has decided that Lloth is not in fact evil, and the drow are more of an unknown that a race predisposed to malevolence. I have seen it mentioned that when you try to role-play in 4e it angers the combat-centric players. That, my friend, is not the edition's fault but rather the people at your table.

As long as we are talking about player input, here are some (mostly) edition-neutral things I would like to change, though most are things that a DM could demand of his group.

Multi-Classing: the character who is multi-classed is bad at two or more things. the whole concept comes out of a 1st edition (2nd edition as well?) ruling that non-humans could only progress so far in any class. Say you are a dwarven fighter and reached your maximum allowable level as a fighter. What do you do? You become a level 1 thief or assassin, as these were the only other classes you could be. Racial class restrictions are a thing of the past, but we still have players who want to multi-class, despite the fact that there is a plethora of classes and at least one will suit your multi-class desire. Want to be a fighter-wizard? Sword mage. Fighter-rogue? There is a build for that.

Memorized Rituals: I do like that wizards can be effective for an entire fight now. They used to be the porn-stars of D&D. They shoot their wad, and that's it for the day. The problem is that some rituals (the replacement for more role-play spells) are useful in combat, but not useful enough to warrant being a power. Take Sun's Glow for example. it is a non-offensive version of light, but you have to use up an attack power slot to get it.

From my webcomic Clerics Get No Love

If we could memorize some rituals with ritual slots, then we could do away with such predominantly useless powers.

Alright. I'm done. When there is a new edition I will likely play it, and if I don't like it I'll find people who still want to play 4e. D&D is D&D, the rules are just rules. The fun is the important bit.

Fan-Boy Icon #59: CS Lewis

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

While most famous for the Narnia works, CS Lewis is also an achieved theologian with a host of other titles to his credit. The one I want to talk about here is his work The Screwtape Letters, a series of letters from a bureaucratic devil, Screwtape, to his nephew, a young tempter named Wormwood.

This is primarily a religious text, so you may wonder at my interest. Why would an Atheist be interested in a discussion of religious behavior? Well, in truth I believe religion has had much to offer over the years, despite my disbelief in the various deities. Early religions in particular were a method of relating wisdom to the uninformed and/or ignorant. Take something as seemingly odd as the Kosher taboo of pork. This is not just silliness on the part of Judaism. Pork is one of the more dangerous meats civilized humans eat. Improper cooking, slaughtering, and preservation can have drastic effects on those who partake, and coming from a warm climate without refrigeration it is only sensible that an observant Rabbi would deem the food unhealthy. The Screwtape Letters is a similar work. Not only is it full of lessons for the faithful which points out potential hypocrisies, but is also an insightful look into human nature and the pitfalls that would cause either spiritual or emotional discomfort.

Written from the diabolical point-of-view, Lewis is able to pick apart both sin and virtue (or their secular counterparts) to see how either might be twisted to cause a negative impact on a person. False humility is an example he discusses, but my favorite is gluttony of delicacy. Screwtape informs his nephew that gluttony in the classic sense is a thing of the past, as well it may have been in 1940s Britain, but gluttony of delicacy is similar if not better. He tell Wormwood of how his patient's (the soul he is charged with tempting) mother is a slave to sensuality of the delicate kind. She is a terror to waiters and hostesses, always demanding that what is provided is too much or too good, "so please bring me something else properly made." From a religious sense, she is sinful in the pleasures of the flesh area, and in the secular sense she is a major pain in the ass.

While the book deals with hypocrisy of both the church and lay-people, it is not cynical. Certainly Screwtape is cynical, but he is the villain. Lewis is able to make you question your own behaviors by relating them to the intent of the devil (or your inner voice) that has not your best interest at heart. Sin and virtue, either religious or secular, are fairly universal, and while I do not judge people for their tastes, it is plain that many of the traditional sins are thing that can make life hard on you. Anything that enslaves your senses can be problematic, be it drink, sex or sport.

I am not currently reading The Screwtape Letters but rather having them read to me by John Cleese. In the 1990s an audio edition (now, it seems, out-of-print) was released read by Cleese. I had it on cassette, but was able to locate it on the interwebs. The sound quality is not great by any means, but it listenable. I do not know if it is legally shared, but frankly am not concerned. If you are not concerned and would like to listen, go to Radio MickDanger here.

Nerd Girl of Note #138: Nana Visitor

2012-01-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

For years I have avoided Star Trek: Deep Space 9. It was originally on the air when I was not a Star Trek fan, and it (along with The Next Generation) seemed to carry the stain of my temporal dislike for Star Trek to the point of excess. I used to call ST:DS9 "Space Mall" as it felt like, well, a space mall. After some urging from Rick Bman and Rainer Wolfcastle I decided to make it my New Year's resolution to give my final Star Trek frontier a go. I am ready to admit I am enjoying it, in no small part thanks to Nana Visitor, aka colonel/commander Kira Nerys. [more at Memory Alpha]

Born Nana Tucker, she changed her name to "Nana Visitor" after some screen credits. Aside from ST:DS9 she has appeared in Torchwood, as Jason's mother in the Friday the 13th remake, the rebooted Battlestar Galactica, Dark Angel, The Outer Limits, and the television film adaptation of The Spirit (1987). She has also done voice work for Family Guy. [more at the IMDb] Visitor is also no stranger to Broadway, as well as numerous television shows.

Torchwood

Fan-Boy Icons #58: Duran Duran

2011-12-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

When you are kid in the '80s with MTV it was hard to get away from Duran Duran. Not that you wanted to, necessarily. Sure, I was in the transition from hair metal to harder metal at the time, but Duran Duran had quite an appeal. For one thing, despite being pop, their music is quite interesting and the musicianship is apparent. Also while they have a boy-band vibe as far as looks go, their music is not they typical saccharin one associates with New Kids on the Block and their progeny. They even spawned two other pretty awesome bands. Power Station with John Taylor and Andy Taylor (bass and guitar respectively) fronted by Robert Palmer and with Tony Thompson on drums. Around the same time singer Simon LeBon, keyboardist Nick Rhodes, and drummer Roger Taylor

One thing I like about Duran Duran is that there is a bit of nerdliness to them. First, "Duran Duran" is a character from the comic book and film Barbarella, and their lyrics are not of the typical "hey girl I love you" variety so common of pop music. They take some chances with lyrics and video images. "Girl on Film" was a particularly daring, and rather pervy, video. An interesting thing was that they were not exactly trying to get attention with it, as it was their third single. The video below is the uncut version, so be warned there are boobies and thongs.

Duran Duran - Girls On Film [Uncensored] by hushhush112

Possibly their best song, and my particular favorite, is "Rio." To me it is quite an amazing song and the lyrics and music are very evocative of the Mexican Riviera, and is just beautifully complicated without over-reaching.

Duran Duran - Rio by EMI_Music

WIP Wednesday: Chain Gang Girls (Sasuke Sasuga, 2007)

2011-12-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

AKA Kûga no Ori: Nami dai-42 Zakkyobô

This Pinky Violence WIP effort is somewhere between an Ilsa film and a Scorpion film. There is a good deal of torture, though not of the extreme type typical in Ms Thorne's films, and there is a revenge aspect like Ms Kaji's films. Our lead character, Nami, like Scorpion is f the rather "unbreakable" variety. In matter of fact, the film's plot is extremely similar to the first Scorpion film, Joshuu 701-Gô: Sasori, 女囚７０１号　さそり. Sadly, "Nami" has none of Meiko Kaji's charm in this role. She can certainly take a beating, but whether by her own skill or her direction she is rather unimpressive. More impressive is the HBIC (possibly Yuko Kosaka), who is very much what the role demands.

There are a few interesting twists on the standard WIP formula. Nami is thrown into a multi-prisoner cell occupied by a gang of sorts. They decide she needs some softening up before becoming part of their gang, and all but the HBIC go after her. Nami, however, can both take it and dish it out. Later, the gang's number-two wants to fight her one-on-one, but is unable to best Nami and resorts to a weapon. The HBIC does not like this, declaring "no weapons in a one-on-one fight. You lose." She goes so far as to make her number-two suffer the punishment brought on by the guards afterwards. She even allows Nami to be a "lone wolf" as long as she does not interfere with the gang. Another slight variation is in this film's version of the "hot box." They have a sealed room that allows no light in, and public address horns that blare high pitched noise. Nami is held there for three days, and is a complete wreck when she returns to her cell. Her treatment by the guards, and the respect she earns for not being a wimp, leads her cellmates to plot her escape.

This is by no means a great WIP film. It was shot on video. The sets are cheap. The costumes are not very imaginative. There is little of the more aggressive approach typical of these films. There are some interesting aspects, to be sure. WIP genre fans may enjoy it, if only for the diversions from formula. It seems a bit tame for Pinky Violence, and is not overly sexual. There are worse films, but I would not go out of my way to see this one.

Nerd Girl of Note #137: Maura Monti

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Before Pam Grier was Coffy (1973), and before Meiko Kaji was The Scorpion (1972), Maura Monti played a female action hero in the 1968 Luchador film La Mujer Murciéglo, aka The Batwoman. Monti is an Italian born Mexican import who had appeared in a previous Luchador film, Santo el Enmascarado de Plata vs La Invasión de los Marcianos (aka Santo vs the Martian Invasion, Alfredo B. Crevenna, 1967) , and later in Blue Demon Destructor de Espías (Blue Demon Spy Destroyer, Emilio Gómez Muriel, 1968).

The interesting thing about The Batwoman is that she is a female hero who is not motivated by revenge. In that sense she is more a Barbara Gordon Batgirl than her better known compatriots Coffy and The Scorpion. Her motivation is fighting crime, not getting back at her tormentors. Now, that does not make her a purely Feminist heroine. She does run around in a bikini most of the time, however she does not sleep with anyone, nor use her feminine wiles to outdo her opponents. There are only a few rather sexist bits, like The Batwoman fainting when the monster sneaks into her room, and she is scared by a mouse at the end, but mostly it is a pretty solid role.

Like Pam Grier, Maura Monti is quite the athletic specimen for a time when women did not take up athletics. I will hazard a guess that the few in-the-ring scenes with The Batwoman are not done by Monti (the actress wrestling wears a full-body outfit, and is clearly of a different build), but it is clear she is at least a strong swimmer, and the fight scenes she is certainly performing are no worse than most.

Now, clearly we are talking about a film that DC could easily sue over, and perhaps did. It is a total Batman ripoff. Aside from the dead parents angle, she is very much Batman, and many of the visuals are similar to the Batman television series. Her mask is totally an Adam West mask. It is not tongue in cheek, and does not try to be as campy as Batman was, but really, it is plain where they were going with this.

Fortunately, some kind soul has done a nice job of adding subtitles to this film and put it on Youtube. Big ups to Bubba Shelby for letting us know. There are a few weird things in the translation, but it gets an A+ from this gringo with little Spanish in his utility belt. You can check it out here.

Bikinis are not just for swimming, but there is a fair bit of that to justify it.

Escape from "El Reptilicus"

I am not judging, but this is clearly not the same woman as above.

Remember kids, throwing acid is wrong. Even at mad scientists. Also, see the monster? That's what happens when Ultraman has unprotected sex with a Sleestak.

Like El Santo, the mask stays on. Well, mostly.

Alter-ego: a rich woman who uses her fortune to fight crime... They are clearly ripping off Iron Man. Gah!

"Yes, I'm wearing a bikini. Now can we get on with your report?"

¡Mas Luchadores Magnífico!

2011-12-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

The world of Lucha Libre is a big one, and there are many, many Luchadores we could talk about, but let's hit a few highlights.

Blue Demon was a former bad-guy/heel wrestler who became a good guy after his tag-team partner was unmasked. He was a rival of Santo, despite their being on the same side, and Blue Demon's defeat of Santo is a thing of Lucha Legend. Blue Demon is easily second only to Santo in popularity and mythic stature. He did twenty-five films altogether, nine of which costarred Santo. Several had him in charge of a league of wrestlers as in The Champions of Justice (Federico Curiel, 1971).

Irma González was a National Women's Wrestling Champion and the UWA World Women's Champion. She and partner Irma Aguilar were the National Women's Tag Team Wrestling Champions. [via Lucha Women] I can find very little on the web, en Inglés at least, about Irma, but apparently she is still active in training wrestlers today. According to Wikipedia, "in the early 1960s a female wrestler called La Novia del Santo (Spanish for 'the Bride of El Santo') worked the Mexican circuit. Under the silver mask was Irma González, a well known wrestler who had promised her fiancé that she'd stop wrestling, but went back in the ring under a mask when she could not resist the draw of competition. La Novia got El Santo's blessing to use the name and is the only non-family member ever given the right to use the Santo name. Gonzáles only wrestled as 'La Novia del Santo' for 7 months until she got married." According to the IMDb, Irma appeared in three films as a wrestler; Doctor of Doom (René Cardona, 1963), Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy (René Cardona, 1964), Los Hermanos del Viento (Alberto Bojórquez, 1977, possibly not a wrestling film)

An odd entry that I just learned about via Lucha Women is April Hunter. I have known about April for quite a while. She was a fitness model, adult model, and American wrestler, but apparently has quite a following on the Mexican and Japanese Lucha Libre circuit. Like our other entrants today, April has several film credits, including Â! Ikkenya Puroresu (Ah! House Collapses, Naoki Kudo, 2004, a Japanese wrestling-zombie movie), Just Another Romantic Wrestling Comedy (Kim Sky/Evan Seplow, 2006), and Hell House (2009). She has wrestled under other names including April Kincaid, The Prize, Big Red, and Beautiful Soldier.

Lastly, we'll look at Tinieblas, a wildly popular wrestler who appeared in films with Blue Demon, and was apparently the second Luchador to have a comicbook made based on his character. His backstory, according to a comment made here by CRwM of And Now the Screaming Starts): "Tiniblas was supposedly the lone survivor of a race of ancient space travelers that perfected themselves mentally and physically by harnessing a sort of zero energy that permeated the universe. His mask protects him from harmful cosmic rays that can penetrate the Earth's atmosphere. If he loses the mask, these ray will disintegrate him instantly. Being the perfect physical and mental specimen, Tiniblas didn't just wrestle, he also had a long-running column in a Mexico City newspaper that was a sort of 'ask the perfect space alien anything?' column. People asked him about the ultimate purpose of existence, the mysteries of the universe, relationship troubles, financial matters, and cooking hints. It was probably the single most helpful feature ever run by a newspaper anywhere." He could not be any more wrong than most advice columnists, now could he?

Unofficial 2nd Annual Paul Naschy Day

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of wild and wonderful, we take a side trip from la Semana de Luchar. I offer up La Rebelion de las Muertas, aka Vengeance of the Zombies for your consideration (León Klimovsky, 1973). One, because it is an awesome film, and two, because we are marking the second anniversary of Jacinto Molina's death; the man better known as Paul Naschy, "the Spanish Lon Chaney."

VotZ is my kind of zombie movie. Frankly, I am a bit fed-up with the over-use of Romero-styled plague zombies. This film is one of those rare instances of Voodoo zombies, such as in Sugar Hill, Amazing Mask, or Plague of the Zombies (Vincent Price & Hammer Films). In it, Naschy plays three separate characters. He is the hero, Krisna, the villain, Kantaka, and briefly appears as Satan. While he is more known for playing the werewolf Waldemar Daninsky, this film is completely in his wheelhouse. Naschy is a makeup guy, and likes to portray odd characters. Here he portrays an Indian guru, a man transforming himself into one of the undead, and a goat horned, cloven footed Satan. You can tell that each is Naschy, but he adds a distinction to each.

Naschy as Krisna

Naschy as Kantaka

Naschy as Satan

The story deals with the guru Krisna, now living in Europe, and a string of very giallo murders. Spoilers ahead. We discover that Kantaka, Krisna's brother, is behind them. Kantaka wears typical giallo-slasher wardrobe when on the prowl, to hide his face, but it is obviously Naschy by the man's build. Of course, at this point we only know Naschy to be Krisna, so there is some confusion created. When we discover the reason behind the murders we leave the realm of standard giallo and are sucked into the supernatural.

Now, I have only a limited set of Naschy films under my belt, but this is very likely my favorite. Aside from the costume work, it is a good story, and rather thrilling, even to my horror-jaded sensibilities. I had a few legitimate gasps. My one issue with the film was the actual killing of a chicken in one scene. I don't approve of such things in film. I do think Naschy puts on one of the more sensitive portrayals on an Indian person by a non-Indian actor. It is not a heavy-handed "Apu" version of an Indian man typical of the times. This one is well worth watching, and perhaps my favorite Naschy film.

For more info on Señor Molina, check out my posts from the Paul Naschy Blogathon last year, or the Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies list of blogathon entrants. He is an interesting guy, and did some awesome work. Jacinto, we hardly knew you.

Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstruos (Gilberto Martínez Solares, 1970)

2011-11-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

Say what you will about cinema as art, sometimes you want a movie that grabs you right away and boldly shouts, "you will watch me!" Santo and Blue Demon vs the Monsters is such a film. I caught this one on Galavision this weekend, in Spanish (which I do not speak). Now, I am fairly new to Luchador movies, and am not a big fan of wrestling in general, but do appreciate the super-hero aspect of these movies. Sometimes Santo is a James Bond character (as mentioned yesterday) or Batman sin Bruce Wayne. Regardless of role, Santo is the scourge of bad-guys everywhere (or at least in Mexico).

Santo and Blue Demon vs the Monsters is a real mish-mash that the Vicar of VHS described "as if two movie-loving, hyperactive playground buddies were sitting behind the typewriter pounding out everything that entered their sugared cereal-addled brains." The film features a cacophony of monsters, a mad scientist with hunch-backed midget assistant, and just for laughs an evil clone of Blue Demon. We have a horde of zombies (Voodoo-style), three vampires, the wolfman, a mummy, Frankenstein's monster, a cyclops, and a rock creature with an over-sized, highly exposed brain. All this, and only one man to stop them; El Santo.

As I said, I don't speak Spanish, but like Amazing Mask, the storytelling is pretty plain by visuals alone. I did not realize there was a Blue Demon clone, I just thought the mad scientist used some sort of mind control on him, but that would be just as (nay more) probable. I did not understand the mad scientist's motivation, but really, do you need to? He's a mad scientist. He is out for either a) revenge against the scientific community that spurns his research, or b) world domination. Oddly enough both motivations typically yield the same plan, so skipping all the backstory is both appropriate and expedient.

Now, it might seem weird that in one of the big action scenes all of the monsters get in the wrestling ring. The vampire apparently challenges Santo to a match, and when he loses (by seeing a cross) all his monster buddies swarm into the ring, all showing fair wrestling aplomb, to battle Santo and his legion of wrestling buddies. Now, on one hand, the Blue Demon clone might have taught them to wrestle, or it could just be standard genre action logic. In kung fu movies with vampires, the vampires know kung fu. In swashbuckling vampire movies (like Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter) the vampire is a sword master. In the Underworld films, vampires are skilled with handguns. So, obviously, in a luchador movie the vampire will be a wrestler. The other monsters are primarily brutes anyway, so wrestling likely comes natural to them. Like the Vicar, I do not fully understand why the vampire wears a mask. Maybe a stunt double did the wrestling, or it was too hard to keep his prosthetic ears and teeth attached during the wrestling scene?

This film is silly to be sure, but it is so full of awesome to watch it surpasses its limitations. It is kind of family monster movie. Sort of a Groovie Ghoulies for 'tweens. The cheesecake is limited, the violence is similar to a '70s tv show (sin the heavy gun use). It is an utterly enjoyable bit of film, and hell, if you watch it with your kids, maybe they will be more enthused about learning Spanish?

Fan-Boy Icon #57 - El Santo

2011-11-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

Rodolfo Guzmán Huerta was a Mexican wrestler better known as El Santo. Now, wrestling is not my thing, but I do have a soft spot for luchadores, and El Santo is the king. For me, one of the most interesting things is how many films were made (54 according to the IMDb), and how low the availability is in the United States. I have read that only four films were dubbed into English.

I have seen two of the Santo films. Well, one and two-thirds. Santo vs Capulina, and Santo vs the Vampire Women. Both are available on YouTube. The first is mostly a comedy. Capulina is a famous clown, and pretty much used to round out a seemingly non-existent story. Now, it was in Spanish, and the last thirty minutes were missing, but it was easy enough to get the idea. Santo vs the Vampire Women was more solid. A mostly straightforward vampire film. Again, it was in Spanish, but easy enough to follow. Links to both below.

The oddest part of these films is that Santo is always masked. Sleeping, swimming, making sweet love; the mask stays on. Now, Huerta never appeared without his mask until shortly before his death, but it is so humorous to watch a masked man in a suit going about his business and no one questions why. In the films Santo is a bit of a James Bond or Batman. Rich playboy who has gadgets and fights crime, he just does not have an alter-ego.

So, the better of the two films I found was Santo contra las Mujeres Vampiro (Alfonso Corona Blake, 1962), a pretty solid vampire movie in a rather Hammer-style, though based in modern time. The actual story is a bit hard to grasp, as I don't speak Spanish. Basically, a mad scientist wants a vampire. He gets go-go dancers from a local club, the first of which he uses to reconstitute the vampire husk he has found, then other go-go dancers fill the larder. There are also some killings to look into, so Santo is called in to aid the police. The initial vampire takes over the go-go club, tries to kill Santo, makes a lot of new vampires, and eventually bites it. It was a fun film, I just wish I understood the dialogue better. You can see it on Youtube here. Some decent leg action for those so inclined.

Not quite Faster Pussycat,Kill! Kill! but not bad.

Swanky and scary night-club people.

Even swimming, the mask stays on.

Modern science meets ancient myth.

Our vampire hostess.

Even when sleeping, the mask stays on.

Okay, maybe a guy in a mask is not so odd.

Amazing Mask Finale? @amazing_mask

2011-11-22T07:49:00.001-05:00

Some of you likely remember all the posts I have done on one of my favorite webseries, Amazing Mask vs the Supernatural Voodoo Woman (Amazing Mask vs la Sobrenatural Mujer Voodoo) from Fan-Boy Icon Dani Moreno, and starring Nerd Girl of Note Dunia Montenegro. You don't? Well, here is the entire five episodes, at least I assume it is the entirety. My Spanish is terrible, but judging by the ending of episode five things seem to be wrapped up. Don't worry though, arch-villain Doctor Calavera is still around so I predict we shall have more Luchador action in the future.

Below is a playlist I created n Youtube with the five episodes, as well as some commercials that I assume are not real, but fun. While it is in Spanish, they are done in such a way that you don't really have to know what is being said to know what is going on. Moreno has great comic-book sensibilities, so the story is told visually just as well as verbally.

On the Interwebz:

Nerd Girl of Note #136: Rosanne Katon

2011-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

Playboy Playmate and Exploitation queen, Rosanne Katon has done most of what is necessary to earn her spot here. She has done some sci-fi, including Logan's Run and Jason of Star Command. Sexploitation films like The Swinging Cheerleaders and Chesty Anderson, USN. Blaxploitation/WIP films The Muthers and Ebony, Ivory & Jade. Classic television like The Facts of Life, Starsky & Hutch, Good Times, Sanford & Son, CHiPs, and The White Shadow. Also a host of other film and television roles. She was Playboy's September Playmate of the Month in 1978.

Katon played "Princess Allegra" on Jason of Star Command series 1

Jason of Star Command (Arthur H. Nadel, 1978-81)

2011-11-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have talked about this show before, though I had never seen it. Jason of Star Command was a short-format, serialized space opera starring Craig Littler as the eponymous Jason, James "Scotty" Doohan as Commander Canarvin, and the utterly awesome Sid Haig as the evil Dragos. Appearances by Rosanne Katon and July Newmar come early in the run, as does a whopping twelve episodes with Tamara "Cleopatra Jones" Dobson in season two.

The show bears a lot of similarities to Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979), and is certainly part of the race to catch up with Star Wars (1976) and Battlestar Galactica (1978). The sets and decor are more similar to Star Trek and perhaps Doctor Who than the others, though stylistically there are similarities. Jason, for example, looks like a Han Solo knock off, and Dragos looks like he could be Princess Ardala's uncle. Also, the whole dragon-theme bad guy smacks of Buck Rogers, but Jason did come out a year earlier... There are also two annoying robots. One who speaks, and one that has an R2-D2 style of communication that everyone but the viewer understands.

I have to say, it is pretty enjoyable. The eleven minute format certainly keeps things moving along. It is not overly original, but hearkens back to old-timey serials nicely. The main reason to watch is for Sid Haig, who automatically ups the quality of anything he is in, be it a movie, television show, or pay toilet. Haig is perfectly suited for an over-the-top megalomaniac, and does all the heavy lifting in this show. Here is his "death" scene from the end of season one:

It is nice to see Haig and other exploitation stars like Katon and Dobson get some mainstream work, not to mention Francine York (The Doll Squad) doing some episodes. Also nice to see Doohan as not Scotty for a change.

In all, it is a pretty enjoyable show. There are some episodes on Youtube, but I have not really watched them so cannot swear to the quality, or legality.

WIP Wednesday: The Muthers (Cirio H. Santiago, 1976)

2011-11-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

The Blaxploitation film that wasn't. Well, sort of. The Muthers was made near the end of the Filipino exploitation explosion and stars Jeanie Bell (TNT Jackson), Rosanne Katon (Ebony, Ivory & Jade), Trina Parks (Darktown Strutters) and Jayne Kennedy (Body and Soul) as a band of female pirates who invade a coffee plantation prison to rescue Kelly's (Jeannie Bell) sister.

I say it is the "Blaxploitation film that wasn't" because of a comment by one of the stars of the film in the documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed. Either Jayne Kennedy or Trina Parks mentioned that the roles were not written to be four black women, and despite it being very Blaxploitation geared it did not demand to be such from the script. That is just marketing. The Muthers is often mentioned as the only film to have four black female leads.

Kelly (Bell) is the pirate captain and Angie (Katon) is her lieutenant. When Kelly's sister, Sandy, goes missing they are informed that she is at a prison camp. The local law wants something done about it, as the prison is run by kidnappers rather than the state. They need someone to go in and find out what is happening... That, or they could just throw the pirates in jail. Kelly agrees, and she and Angie find their way into the prison. Inside they meet our tough veteran, Marcie (Parks), and begin the search between field labor and shower scenes. They also meet our fourth player, Serena (Kennedy) who is the warden's favorite but also friends with Marcie.

Ultimately, the idea that this is not truly Blaxploitation is a valid one. This could have been four women of any race, or even women of various races. It also could have been men. The WIP angle is pretty limited, and in the end it is very much a Chuck Norris movie, save that you don't have the deficit of Chuck Norris being in it. It is a decent, fairly well planned, fairly well acted action film full of gun-play and martial arts. The acting is not terrible. Kennedy and Katon are likely the high points there. Worth checking out, if you can find it.

Jeannie Bell as "Kelly" Captain of The Muthers

Rosanne Katon as "Angie" Lieutenant of The Muthers

Trina Parks as "Marcie" Hardened Veteran

Jayne Kennedy as "Serena" Head Trustee

Dr. Who & the Daleks (Gordon Flemyng, 1965)

2011-11-15T12:28:00.001-05:00

This is an odd one. While First Doctor William Hartnell was still doing the television program Doctor Who, Hammer Films competitor Amicus Productions came out with Dr. Who & the Daleks. Peter Cushing portrays the Doctor, and is openly referred to as "Doctor Who." It is far from being cannon, in my limited First Doctor experience, though it does have the aftermath of the war between the Daleks and the Thals set on planet Skaro.

In this film, it appears that Dr. Who is completely human, and has built his TARDIS himself. As I understand things, it was not clear that the First Doctor was in fact a time lord, only that he was from another dimension. I imagine they had a lot of room to play with the background, and in typical film adaptation style decided to get the back-story out of the way quickly.

From a film standpoint, it is fairly standard sci-fi for the time. Not as hokey as much. It has a rather Disney feel to it, and you can almost see Dick Van Dyke playing companion Ian Chesterton rather than Roy Castle. There is a great deal of slapstick humor from Ian. The set pieces look like Star Trek in many ways.

If you are sensitive about your Doctor, this might not be the film for you, but as many of us these days are unfamiliar with the Hartnell Doctor it might be a good history lesson of sorts. It is fun, if occasionally stupid, and I imagine was pretty impressive in 1965. Plus, you can check it out for free online (links below).

On Hulu or Youtube

Fan-Boy Icon #56: Vincent D'Onofrio

2011-11-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Now, I think many of you know that I am not a fan of cop shows, though I occasionally, occasionally, make exceptions for Law & Order: Criminal Investigations. Mostly because of today's Fan-Boy Icon, Vincent D'Onofrio. Now, while most of us know him for L&O, he has two other pretty iconic roles, one greater than the other. First, he was "Private Pyle" in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket (1987). Second, he was in Tarsem Signh's The Cell (2000). The Cell is the one I want to talk about here, because it is a fairly underrated film, even by me.

The thing about The Cell is it is a beautifully done movie, directed by Tarsem Singh, but the story and some of the acting is a tad lackluster. The reason to watch it are for the visuals and D'Onofrio's performance. He plays crazy with a lot of zeal, and playing a warped serial killer might be his wheelhouse. He has great body language, which he even adds to the Law & Order role, where he plays a cop who is a tad unbalanced. In The Cell he really gets to play this up, taking on cartoon-ish, malevolent, and child-like aspects. He is at his best in the dream-world portion of the film, where his character is set up as an evil king. If you have not seen The Cell, check it out, or if you saw it and did not care for it, give it another look. The ending falls apart a bit, but for the most part it is very enjoyable.

Nerd Girl of Note #135: Cynthia Myers

2011-11-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

Russ Meyer vixen and December 1968 Playboy Playmate Cynthia Myers died this past weekend at 61. As of this writing, the cause of death has not been released. Myers was Playboy's first playmate born in the 1950s,and oddly enough was photographed prior to her eighteenth birthday. Playboy did not release the photos until after she turned eighteen. I won't post it here, but there is an excellent scan of her centerfold here.

Beside her Playboy appearance, Myers is likely most famous for one of the four films she appeared in, Russ Meyers Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970), which was Uncle Russ' only big studio film. She also appeared in Hammer Film's The Lost Continent as an uncredited Native Girl, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (also uncredited), and Molly and Lawless John. Cynthia was stunningly beautiful, and easily one of the most popular Playmates in Playboy history.

WIP Wednesday: Women in Chains (Bernard L. Kowalski, 1972)

2011-11-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

How popular were WIP films in the '70s? Well, ABC did a "Movie of the Week" in 1972 called Women in Chains, and aside from the lack of gratuitous nudity, it appears to be every bit a standard WIP film. Below is a trimmed down version from YouTube user "Pirated Video" which cuts the fat from the lean.

Our "good girl" is also our "concerned outsider" in the person of Sandra Parker (film and television character actor, Lois Nettleton). Our sadistic matron is Claire Tyson (film legend Ida Lupino). The rest of the cast is made up of unknowns, though a few you might recognize from other television shows, and the characters are fairly standard fair.

Oh, and you ever wonder why there is so much nudity in your grindhouse WIP films? Apparently so they don't have to do endless scenes of inmate cabin fever. This film is pretty rampant with it. If they could have done a shower scene or two, but hey...

The Seducers (Ottavio Alessi, 1969)

2011-11-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

aka Top Sensation, aka Swinging Young Seductresses

I received two warning about this film from the most excellent Tenebrous Kate. First, it is not worth the effort of finding. Second, I would ignore the first warning and get it any way. Touché, Empress, touché. I did indeed search all the more fervently for this one after said warnings, proving the veracity of her powers of prophecy. How could I not, though? Let's face it, Rosalba Neri and Edwige Fenech in various states of undress, even rolling around on each other for the better part of ninety minutes. I am only a man.

On the first point we shall have to agree to disagree. No, it is not a great movie, but I felt it was worth watching. Neri especially, but Fenech as well, often transcend the typical acting boundaries of the "B" movie actress, particularly the typically naked "B" movie actress. The Seducers lets them do some nice work, even if it is in a limited scope.

The story? Oh, yeah.

Some rich old broad with a yacht and a weirdo son, Tony, take some young acquaintance (read lover) and his wife Paola (Rosalba Neri, also her lover) into the Mediterranean with another young woman, Ulla (Edwige Fenech). The mother thinks if her son loses his virginity he will be cured of his mental problems. Ulla is supposed to make a man of him, but he is completely uninterested. While the entire boat (save Tony) is doing the mommy-daddy dance (or mommy-mommy dance) the boat runs onto a sandbar and gets stuck. Tony high-tails it for the associated island, and the one man on the boat and Ulla are charged with collecting him. There is a side plot of trying to get more money out of the old lady, but things are pretty shaky here.

Plot-wise, I am fairly with Kate. It is a flimsy story, and perhaps not all that original. I did however like how loathsome all the people on the boat were. They are really pretty vile people, and make no excuses for it, nor does director Alessi. The bulk of the acting is pretty poor, though Neri and Fenech make a convincing pair of ne'er-do-well rich chicks who will do anything to get richer. Watching two of Eurosleaze's most beautiful women gush all over a rather filthy peasant, then making slight, disgusted looks when he is not looking was pretty artful.

FreeVideoCoding.com

The reason to watch this one is all Rosalba Neri though. I have had an infatuation with Neri since I discovered her, but frankly thought Fenech was more attractive. When you put the two together there is no contest. Maybe it is just this particular film, but Fenech is merely beautiful. When in a scene together Neri sucks all the light from her. I seemed to only notice Fenech when Neri was not on screen with her. Perhaps it is just this film, and maybe Fenech's role demands a lesser sexuality. Neri's Paola is carnality personified, and oozes sex from start to finish.

Anyway, this is a hard one to find. When I finally found it at a reasonable price on eBay it was a DVD-R, likely a VHS ripped bootleg. The picture quality is pretty lousy, but the bootleg is professionally done, with a nicely/professionally printed DVD. If you are a Neri fan, definitely look for it. She is stunning in this film. If you want a fairly dirty Eurosleaze murder story, and like me do not get into Giallo, it might suit you as well. Fenech fans... I am not sure what to tell you, except something very odd goes on with her in one scene. I'll leave it at that.

Howling II (Philippe Mora, 1985)

2011-11-07T08:57:00.000-05:00

If there is one thing to be learned from Howling II it is this: werewolves love the titties. Perhaps as much as director Philippe Mora. There are titties everywhere in this movie, some seemingly out of place. One definitely out of place when new "survival of the clan" werewolf, Mariana (Marsha A. Hunt), is presented to the werewolf queen, Stirba (Sybil Danning), with one breast pulled out of the top of her dress. Not both.

Aside from the pulchritude of breasts, we have a decent vampire movie. Did I say "vampire" movie? Why yes, I did. Maybe that is because these particular werewolves, particularly Mariana and Stirba, cannot be slain with silver bullets but rather a titanium stake thrust through the heart. Stirba also has the need to maintain her youth and bountiful bosom by sucking the souls from young, shapely girls, a la Elizabeth Bathory. Stirba also has many magical powers, many of which are more typically attributed to vampires. Oh, and a bat totem... Well, no one ever accused the Howling series of being true to werewolf lore, now did they?

Otherwise, it is a decent romp. Christopher Lee is in it, which certainly helps. Danning is impressive in her weird garb and furry nakedness. Marsha Hunt is pretty breathtaking at times. There is a big werewolf orgy, which I imagine makes sense, and a killer dwarf thrown in for good measure.

One oddity. Well, one I am going to mention. You know how when a word is said repeatedly for a decent amount of time, say five minutes, and it loses it meaning and just becomes noise? Well prior to the credits they show a montage of scenes from the film, accompanied by the one song the producers paid for, and they show Sybil Danning ripping off her shirt about thirty times. While I will admit to enjoying a topless Sybil Danning, eventually it just got silly. I think the producers realized they only showed her topless once, save those times whilst covered in fur, and thought they'd better get the most out of it/them. Eventually they stop being naked breasts and start being a reminder of just how long the montage is going on.

"The Many Loves of Lady Derp"

2011-11-04T10:56:00.000-04:00

I have ni dead why, but this has been my most popular post on Tumblr. Within 24 hours it was approaching 400 notes (likes and reblogs). I had posted the original picture with similar text to a lukewarm response, but making my own pulp cover seemed to strike a chord.

Now, of course, the dilettante in me wants to write "The Many Loves of Lady Derp" -- a feat I doubt I am up to, but did actually start. If I do write it, I'll post it here. If not, I'll post the tiny bit I have already done. We'll see how it goes.

Nerd Girl of Note #134: Jennifer Love Hewitt (@TheReal_Jlh)

2011-11-04T10:29:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Love Hewitt is perhaps the most ignored member of the B-Movie community. Don't get me wrong, she is successful, and well know, but I think she falls into the "A" crowd for the most part, yet much of her work is very "B" movie fans positive. Coming from me, this is obviously not a dig, but rather praise. Hewitt's exploitation resume is pretty good, when you think about it. Two I Know What You Did Last Summer films, both horror/teensploitation, The Tuxedo with Jackie Chan (an "A" film with a "B" film's soul), and she did the voice of Medusa on Disney's Hercules. Then, of course there is her latest long-running venture, The Ghost Whisperer.

Scoff if you must, but The Ghost Whisperer is pretty well done, both from a watchability standpoint, and a marketing standpoint. It is not overly "chicks only" but appeals to the Lifetime Network's audience. It has a mixture of Charmed and Touched By An Angel, so it appeals to most age groups. Add its cast of revolving recurring characters, and it gains longevity. And there are not a bunch of slouches going in and our. Camryn Manheim, Aisha Tyler, Jay Mohr, and Jamie Kennedy.

So, give JLH some love, would ya?

WIP Wednesday: Grudge Song: Female Prisoner #701 Scorion (Yasuharu Hasebe, 1973)

2011-11-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

The final Meiko Kaji edition of the numerous Female Prisoner #701 films is Grudge Song, aka Joshû Sasori: 701-Gô Urami-Bushi, and it makes it clear how the series inspired Quentin Tarrantino's Kill Bill films. I don't want to go over this one too much, save that yet again Nami "Scorpion" Matsushima has escaped from prison and is hunted by obsessive policemen. This time she has a male partner, a '60s radical who was tortured by the police and left badly, and humiliatingly scarred.

Rather than discuss the story itself, I have been thinking about an overall theme to the films, and how they might relate to post World War II Japan. Scorpion has many admirable traits. She is tough and resilient, as well as deadly. She has great cunning about her. Her strongest trait, as made most clear in the first film, is that Nami Matsushima cannot be broken. In a way I believe this makes her representative of hard line Imperial Japanese. She is beaten, even defeated, but never broken. In this vein, the police and prison guards represent the American occupying force, which after their victory attempted to castrate Japan with the abolition of its military. Enemy prisoners, and other enemies of Matsushima might be considered as traitors, or enemies of Japan. Like Matsu, Japan did not go quietly, they merely changed weapons and began fighting back with money instead of arms. They are certainly not the crushed nation we might have seen, despite being the only nation in our history that is the victim of nuclear assault.

Again, I highly recommend these films. This one is particularly good, but I have not been disappointed with one yet.

Fan-Boy Icons #55: Slayer (@Slayer)

2011-10-31T09:00:00.000-04:00

I thought I had left my metal days where they belong: in the '80s. Aside from Judas Priest, none of my metal loves of youth made it with me to the modern era. Then...

When I came across Slayer Pinball Rocks for the iPad, I was not a Slayer fan. I only noticed that it was well reviewed and looked really good. Being a pinball freak, I needed something and there seemed no better option. The music in the game started sticking with me, and I wondered why I never listened to Slayer before. I decided to pick up their best known album, 1983's Reign in Blood. From there I moved on to 2009's World Painted Blood (the album that spawned the music for the game) and 2010's Christ Illusion. I am pretty much hooked now. While bands like Anthrax have disappeared, and Metallica gone annoying, Slayer might be the only thrash metal band left. Well, there is Megadeth, but I just cannot handle Dave Mustane's voice.

One thing that initially put me off Slayer was the purported neo-Nazi ties. On Reign in Blood is the song "Angel of Death" about the infamous Nazi "scientist" Joseph Mengele. When I first heard the song, it was a little bothersome, but then after listening to more tracks I thought, perhaps, Slayer was taking a page from the Marquis de Sade's book and writing to be unreadable by the masses? Writing songs or stories about horrible things is not mutually exclusive to finding said things horrible. What eventually caught on was the anger that has not been present in music for a long time. On the two newest albums there is a lot of political dissent and attacks on religion; both things I find important, yet absent in our conformist, bling-based music scene today.

Alright, that's my post-metal, return to metal confession. Oh, and Happy Halloween! SLAYER!

Alucarda (Juan López Moctezuma, 1978)

2011-10-27T09:45:00.000-04:00

Despite my Atheism, I do love a good Satan flick, and Juan López Moctezuma's Alucarda (aka Sisters of Satan, aka Mark of the Devil 3) is definitely that. I like to call it a "B" movie made with "A" talent, for the most part. Sure, there is some silliness, but considering the theme and the high jiggle factor it is remarkably well made and has a more-than reasonable story to it.

The basic story is; a young woman gives birth to a child, and dies shortly afterward, but not before a demon can posses her. The child, Alucarda (Tina Romero, Los Piratas) is taken to a nunnery/orphanage to be raised. As a teenager she meets Justine (Susana Kamini, The Mansion of Madness) and immediately falls in love. Alucarda is not like the other girls, and is all about death and is rather obsessive. There is mention of her previous girlfriend who died, and later when Justine is out of the picture she latches on to Daniela (Lili Garza), the blind daughter of Dr. Oszek (Claudio Brook, the Mexican Vincent Price). One day while exploring an unhallowed tomb where suicides are buried, Alucarda and Justine release a demon which possesses both, and then the madness ensues. The girls return to the nunnery and begin spouting Satanic babble during bible study. When a failed exorcism attempt kills Justine, Alucarda goes off the rails.

There is certainly some bad acting, and a few plot holes perhaps, but overall this is a beautifully filmed movie and most of the major players do a nice job with their roles. Claudio Brook plays the dual role of Atheist turned believer, Dr. Oszek and the Goat Gypsy who starts all the trouble. Tina Romero is haunting as Alucarda, despite some over-the-top bits, but she is possessed by a demon after all.

This is becoming one of my favorite horror films. Lots of awesomeness here. It delivers all the "B" movie staples; blood, breasts, and beasts, but still manages to be a watchable, highly enjoyable film.

Alucarda and Justine with the crazy Goat Gypsy (Claudio Brook)

Tina Romero as Alucarda

One of the more phenomenal visuals.

Susana Kamini as Justine

For a great look at this film, check out Reverend Phantom's video review below.

Despite this Spanish language trailer, the Mondo Macabro DVD has a very good English track. Tina Romero was born in the US, and it appears that perhaps the film was dubbed into Spanish for the Mexican market, though I cannot say that is fact. There is some brief nudity in this trailer.

Shit Talkin' Tough Guys: Yvonne Atkins

2011-10-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

After pouring through four seasons of the UK WIP drama, Bad Girls, I thought it would be appropriate to do a new Shit Talkin' Tough Guys post to let you all know about one of my favorite characters from the show; Yvonne Atkins, played by EastEnders' regular, Linda Henry.

I won't be including a lot of quotes, as Atkins is more of an old-school gangster moll who uses menace in her dialogue that likely does not translate to text well. She also gets a lot of humor, and is an all-around great character.

Atkins began her term at HMP Larkhall late in series one, and it was a little hard to tell where she was coming from. She threw a lot of money (well, prison money) around, and made friends quickly. As well as enemies. We learn pretty quickly what is going on as her mob connections are revealed. Once she gets previous HBIC Shel Dockley under her thumb, she pretty much runs the place. Check out the video below for a nice overview of the character.

WIP Wednesday: Female Prisoner #701 Scorpion: Beast Stable (Shunya Itô, 1973)

2011-10-26T08:50:00.000-04:00

More spoils from my trip to NYC and the obligatory stop at Mondo Kim's Video & Music.* This time part of the three DVD "Female Prisoner Scorpion" box set.

*I shall forever be obliged to Tenebrous Kate for introducing me to this wonderful place!

Female Prisoner #701: Beast Stable (Joshuu sasori: Kemono-beya) is more Women's Revenge film than true WIP. This time Nami Matsushima, aka "Sasori," aka "Matsu," aka "Scorpion" is out of prison and on the run from the law. This is the third film in the series. You don't appear to need to have seen any previous film to watch this one.

Scorpion has a brief run-in with potential captors in the beginning while riding the Tokyo subway. She is handcuffed to a detective, and promptly (suspend disbelief) chops his arm off with a large chef's knife. The scene with her running through Tokyo with a severed arm connected to her by handcuffs is quite the beautiful thing, as it is unclear if the people on the streets know what is going on, so stunned is their expression.

The film is in Japanese with English subtitles, though this is hardly troublesome. Despite the trailer below, the film is less prison based, dealing mostly with Matsu and her new friend's troubles with sex slavers. They are as vicious as most prison guards from the genre, and definitely shows more of why Tarratino used these films as inspiration for the Kill Bill series. It gets a touch kinky at times, but not overly so. It is not a "nice" movie, and can still offer some shock to us moderns with our jaded film sensibilities. If you get the chance, it is well worth checking out.

For your benefit, this is a list (which I believe is accurate) of the "Scorpion" films:

Female Prisoner #701 Scorpion (1972)
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 (1972)
Female Prisoner #701 Scorpion: Beast Stable (1973)
Female Prisoner 701 Scorpion: Grudge Song (1973) - Final with Meiko Kaji
New Female Convict 701: Scorpion (1976) - Yumi Takigawa
New Female Prisoner Scorpion: Special Cellblock X (1977) - Yoko Natsuki
Joshuu Sasori: Satsujin Yokoku (1991, OVA) - Naoko Amihama (?)
Scorpion's Revenge (2005) (non-cannon?) - Yôko Saitô
Sasori (2008) - Miki Mizuno

Shadow of the Vampire (E. Elias Merhige, 2000)

2011-10-24T08:25:00.000-04:00

If you have gotten tired of vampire films and need a pick-me-up, you owe it to yourself to check out Merhige's Shadow of the Vampire, starring John Malkovich, Willem Dafoe, Udo Kier, Cary Elwes, Eddie Izzard, and Catherine McCormack.

In it, Malkovich plays Nosferatu film director Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau, an obsessive German director (is there another kind?) who falls in love with Bram Stoker's Dracula, but is unable to get the film rights from Stoker's estate. Instead, he "creates" his own version of the tale, basically by changing Count Dracula to Count Orloff, and featuring an unknown actor, Max Schrek (Dafoe) as the vampire. This is all very similar to history, but then things change. Schrek is in fact an actual vampire which Murnau was able to locate in Czechoslovakia. Murnau makes promises to Schrek that he may not be able to keep, as well as plots to destroy the creature.

It is a beautifully done film at a trim 93 minutes. It switches nicely between faux-original footage from the 1922 film, and offers some nice insight into silent film production. Dafoe is delightfully creepy as Schrek, bringing a menace to the vampire world we do not see much any more. Malkovich gets a bit over-the-top, but that is part of the role. The stereotype of the 1920's obsessive German film director demands such, and he provides his own menace as the probable real villain of the piece. My only real complaint with the film is that at times, just a few, Dafoe's Schrek takes on a very Uncle Fester a la Christopher Lloyd aspect, but that might be due to the amount of Addams Family material I have been watching lately.

In all, I think vampire purists should enjoy this one greatly, despite the idea that immediately popped up on the IMDb about vampires not showing up on film. Schrek is sympathetic yet evil. More classic, old school vampire than Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula (which was still very good), where Schrek is both compelling and repulsive to those around him, and is a wonderful break from the over attractive vampire we typically get. Definitely worth your time.

Nerd Girl of Note #133: Bonnie Dunn (@Bonnadella)

2011-10-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

So, for my birthday (Oct 15th), aside from an awesome dinner at db Bistro, the wife took me to see Le Scandal Cabaret at the Laurie Beechman Theater on 42nd Street. Bonnie Dunn has been doing the show, according to the show's website, for more than two decades.

The show was ridiculously awesome. Old style burlesque full of strippers, dirty jokes, physical gags and sword swallowing (literal, not figurative). This time the lineup was Bonnie, Emcee "Bastard Keith", stripper Cassandra Rosebeetle, comedian/acrobat/wild-man Rudi Macaggi, world record sword swallower and belly-dancer Natasha Veruschka, and another dancer whose name I do not remember (Rose... something).

Bonnie does an awesome show, some singing and dancing. She does a great Betty-Boop voice, and is awesomely sweet. The wife told her it was my birthday in hopes of them giving me a hard time, but instead she gave me a little giftbag and posed for a picture with me (which unfortunately did not flatter either of us, so I am not posting). It appears the show changes monthly, and is well worth seeing. I think tickets were $25 and there was a $15 food/beverage minimum.

Check the Facebook page, if that is your sort of thing.

WIP Wednesday: Sugar Boxx (Cody Jarrett, 2009)

2011-10-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

Sorry it has been a while since I have posted here. Spent a week in New York City and did not bring the laptop. No time for blogging in Gotham for me. So, we'll get back to business with spoils from my trip to the highly awesome Mondo Kim's Video & Music!

Sugar Boxx is a neuvo women in prison film that takes all its cues from genre standards. It is very similar to your typical Filipino WIP film, but is set in Tallahassee, FL. This was musician/writer/director Cody Jarrett's third film, and while not all together bad, is only mildly enjoyable. There are some twists to the standard plot, but not much to make it really stand out.

Television reporter, Valerie March (Geneviere Anderson, Dracula's Curse, Star Trek: Enterprise) is asked by an old lady to find her niece. The trail leads her to Sugar State Prison, which has an odd record of interring young women convicted of dual drug/prostitution charges. In order to get into the prison, she poses as a prostitute and drives to Tallahassee to attempt to get arrested. There is little problem with that.

Once in Sugar State she meets Loretta Sims (Thela Brown, Flavor of Love's "Rain"), the tough girl who dislikes white women, but warms to Valerie (aka "Angel") and agrees to assist her in finding the niece and exposing the prison. She also learns that select women are used for prostitution by Warden Beverly Buckner (Linda Dona, Silk Stalkings, Delta Heat). From there on, it is all standard formula. Rapey guards, escape plans, "the box" and such. Notable appearances are from Tura Satana as a judge and Kitten Natividad as Matron Mays, though they do not really have enough participation to make it the reason to watch this one. Possibly the strangest part of the film is the use of medieval swords during the break-out scenes... Very odd.

As WIP goes, it is more toned down than most. Mostly nudity and more tame violence. High jiggle factor and short outfits for the leg and butt aficionados.

Geneviere Anderson as Valie/Angel

Angel and Loretta in an obligatory shower scene

Hookers with machetés

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 6

2011-10-07T11:40:00.001-04:00

Addams Family Values (Barry Sonnenfeld, 1993)

I was frankly a little surprised at how this movie did not stack up to my memory of it. I love the first movie, and assumed I loved the second, but it seemed a little flat. It has good staying power because it does have so many quotable lines, but ultimately it felt like a parody of the first film.

I still like it, mind. There are some great ideas there between the Summer Camp and Fester's Marriage angles, but there just seems to be far too much going on. Also, the most developed characters are Fester's wife, Debbie Jellinsky (the delicious Joan Cusak) and Wednesday's love interest, Joel Glicker (David Krumholtz, recently of The Playboy Club). To me, Gomez and Morticia should not take a back seat to anyone, and they definitely do here. Also, there is a baby. I don't like babies in movies (or real life for that matter).

Getting Noticed

2011-10-06T08:55:00.001-04:00

Hello all. Sorry all the posts have been out of the ordinary lately. Partly, the October Horror Movie Challenge is occupying my time. The other thing is the web comic I have been working on, Clerics Get No Love. I'm not here so much to pimp that endeavor as to discuss the challenges to getting noticed.

When I started Adventures in Nerdliness three years ago I stumbled upon the way to get followers. No, not by begging ;-) I searched Blogger for things I was interested in and started following blogs. Many of those bloggers started following me. It seemed slow going, but it appears I was approaching 100 followers within six months. This new web comic though, that is a different animal.

For now, it is on Tumblr, which makes it harder to promote. Me following others will not expand my base, as if I follow people it will be as Darius Whiteplume rather than Clerics Get No Love. So, the oneness is on my scant marketing ability and what little talent I have to attract a reader base. While I have somewhat of a pulpit between this blog and other social media, how much crap do you folks need from me every day? So, here is some of what I have been doing.

Tumblr Tags: the best way for people to search Tumblr these days is with post tags. If my post has "Dungeons and Dragons" and "webcomic" as tags, then anyone searching for those things just might see my blog.
Twitter Hashtags: I have Tumblr announce my posts on Twitter, so I edit the Twitter message to include relevant hashtags. If my post has #DnD and #webcomic, that is similar to the Tumblr tags for the Twitter set.
Twitter for the Site: Now, my posts go to @d_whiteplume from Tumblr, but I did create @ClericsGNL where I make occasional posts as the main character. Mostly jokes that do not fit in with the strip. I manually post links to new CGNL posts there as well.

Otherwise, I just hope it catches on. I am not interested in any of these "get more followers" services or advertising something I do for fun, but like the more creative people I know I just want it to be read more than anything. Of course, the interwebz are full of folks with the same ambition. It is kind of a fun challenge.

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 5

2011-10-05T22:52:00.002-04:00

The Graves (Brian Pulido, 2009)

When you start watching this movie and see the name Brian Pulido plastered all over the credits, you might think, "hey is that the guy who did Lady Death?" Fear not, because soon our heroines will spend five minutes of an intro montage telling you how awesome Lady Death is. In a word, then, "yes."

Outside of that I have nothing interesting to say about this movie. Tony "Candyman" Todd is good in the 10 minutes of screen time he gets, and Clare Grant has some bangin' titties,but otherwise this one is utterly unenjoyable.

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 4

2011-10-04T22:36:00.000-04:00

For all the remakes and repurposings that have gone on over the years, destroying beloved franchises, or reminding us how shitty they original was and how bad an idea a remake is, Barry Sonnenfeld's 1991 The Addams Family is the clear exception to the rule. It is not only a great movie in its own right, but is a beautiful tribute to a show that was really quite spectacular. There is no real attempt to one-up the original. Sure, the sets are more elaborate and the budget greater, but they are not parodying the originals. Many of the actors are not doing strict interpretations of the television characters, but likely more close to the comic strip. The best, and this may just be the hormones talking, are Angelica Houston and Christina Ricci. While Ricci's Wednesday is a tad creepier than the show (Wednesday was only six on the tv show), but Angelica Houston's Morticia is so wonderfully like Carolyn Jones, it actually expanded my appreciation for Jones' portrayal.

Anyway, I could go on and on. Watch this one. You must.

Oh, and the pinball game was awesome.

Chai Lai Angels: Dangerous Flowers (Poj Arnon, 2006)

2011-10-04T09:00:00.000-04:00

Alright, I am getting a little addicted to Thai movies of late. It started with Chocolate. Chai Lai Angels: Dangerous Flowers (ไฉไล) came into my Netflix suggestions. A Thai action comedy parody of Charlie's Angels? Sign me up.

So, while this is a parody, it is more of the "Carry On" variety than the Airplane! type. The title is parody in itself, "Chai Lai" being a bit of an "Engrish" jab at the pronunciation of Charlie. They are not trying to make fun of every aspect of Charlie's Angels, but rather take small swipes at the genre itself. For example, the team is undercover trying to protect a little girl that is important to their mission. When she is kidnapped they make chase, and must change out of their disguises into their sexy spy outfits while driving. It is not an overly dirty movie, with no nudity and cartoonish violence. There are a few bits that are somewhat racially or sexually insensitive to Western eyes perhaps. If you have some time to kill and nothing to watch, it is a good choice.

Stars:

Bongkoj Khongmalaias as Rose
Jintara Poonlarp as Hibiscus
Supakson Chaimongkol as Lotus
Bunyawan Pongsuwan as Spadix
Kessarin Ektawatkul as Poy-sian

Streams on Netflix, as well as Amazon Instant and YouTube PPV ($2.99 on both). If you are on Amazon Prime it is a free rental. The film is in Thai and subtitled in English. Trailer below.

Bongkoj Khongmalai who stars as "Rose"

Supakson Chaimongkol as "Lotus"

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 3

2011-10-03T20:17:00.000-04:00

Art of the Devil aka Khon len khong (Tanit Jitnukul, 2004)

So... Take I know What You Did Last Summer, Nightmare on Elm Street and The Ring/Ringu and mash them together with Thai actriz mas sexy Supakson Chaimongkol and you likely have Art of the Devil. Add some semi-Voodoo and bad dubbing and you definitely have it.

This one is a little cheesy, even by horror standards, but has its moments. It gets a little hard to tell what the hell is going on. Here is my take on things...

A young girl, "Boom" (Chaimongkol, BKO: Bangkok Knockout, Chai Lai Angels: Dangerous Flowers) is set up with an older man who gets her pregnant. She demands assistance in the form of one million baht (฿1THB ≐ $0.03USD ∴ ฿1,000,000THB ≐ $32,000USD). I did all that math to make the rest a bit more meaningful. He gives her the money, but later says for that amount of money he gets to "share" her. So, she is gang raped, presumably by the man's sons. She later demands more money for the indignity, which leads to him beating her up. Soon the man and his entire family, plus a few "innocent" bystanders are dead. A reporter thinks there is black magic involved.

After that, it gets a bit confusing.

I assume that Boom is trying to get the inheritance money from the dead gang rape instigator, but it is a little hard to tell her actual motives. She gets help from a Voodoo priest and starts killing a lot of people through mystical means.

I have definitely seen worse, but this one was just so hard to follow.

Streams on Netflix

Fan-Boy Icon #54: Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself)

2011-10-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

I am not the biggest Star Wars fan, but I am quite the Mark Hamill fan from time to time, particularly when it comes to Batman. I definitely think his Joker in Batman the Animated Series set the bar for Jokers to come. It is the perfect mix between the Caesar Romero mania, and the Heath Ledger darkness that would premier sixteen years later.

Hey, I can't tell you much about Mark you do not know. He's Luke Skywalker, and in my opinion, The Joker. All the Bluray hoopla has got me a bit nostalgic for the original film. So three cheers for Mark Hamill!

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 2

2011-10-02T12:14:00.000-04:00

Sea of Dust (Scott Bunt, 2008)

In a perfect world I would not even have to recommend a film with horror royalty of the calibre here. We have Hammer legend Ingrid Pitt and Tom "Mr. Zombie" Savini. What could possibly go wrong?

In a word: everything.

Writer/director Scott Bunt has two film credits according to the IMDb. One, for directing Sea of Dust, and one for writing Sea of Dust. I don't know anything about Mr. Bunt, but I assume he is a thirteen year-old boy who has seen every Sam Raimi film. Cruelty is not my intent here, and I would gladly make a bad movie just for the chance to make a movie, particularly with heroes of mine.

Now, the premise is quite good. Savini is Prester John, a mythical Christian king created by the Vatican. Prester John's kingdom was supposed to be deep inside Muslim lands during the Crusades, and used as a rallying cry to get more Europeans to head East. In the film, Prester John is brought into "reality" thanks to all the blood that has spilled in his name. There is travel between the land of the living and that of the damned. Prester John's kingdom is now Purgatory, and it is his charge to punish the unrighteous. There is excellent opportunity for some Lovecraft-styled madness here. The execution is poor. If this is any indication, the wife declared this film to be "almost as bad as The Room." During the end credits there is a song that is completely out of sync with the film, performed by a Dan Fogelberg impersonator. I don't know what it is called, but the title might be "I Can't Believe You Watched the Whole Thing."

Savini is fair in it, though he fills maybe twenty minutes of film. Pitt is very good, though nearly unrecognizable and hardly used. There is some nice creepiness, and a few good shocks, but overall this is not worth your effort. The worst part is that this was Ingrid Pitt's last film before her death. A shame, really.

Chocolate (Prachya Pinkaew, 2008)

2011-10-02T09:04:00.000-04:00

Fans of wild-ass kung-fu movies owe it to themselves to check out Pinkaew's film Chocolate. It is a Thai film with subtitles (even for the bits in English), but furthers my belief that Thai filmmakers, particularly the stunt-people, are making some of the most balls out (or ovaries out) action movies around.

The story revolves around a young autistic girl, Zen, who is the daughter of gangsters from warring factions (rather Romeo and Juliette style) who is able to learn fighting skills by watching others. It starts with the Thai kick-boxers practicing near her home, and then moves to her learning from films and video games (I am pretty sure they made quite a lot of her watching Don "The Dragon" Wilson, but could not swear to that). When her mother needs treatment for cancer, Zen and her cousin Moom go about collecting debts she was owed when in the mob.

There is a lot of video game logic to this film. There is a story, but it is neither too heavy, nor too complicated. It creates a canvas to paint the fighting on. Yanin "Jeeja" Vismistananda who plays Zen does a fair job of playing the mentally-ill powerhouse, but it is the fighting that really earns her points. There is a lot of wackiness in characters and fight locations, and a ton of interesting gymnastics to go with it. The bad guy, Masashi (Hiroshi Abe) is evil incarnate, and when he punishes Zen's mother for her transgressions he explains how she will now, never forget, what he said to her. I'll assume he is right.

Well worth your time. Streams on Netflix.

October Horror Movie Challenge Day 1 (#horrormoviechallenge)

2011-10-01T15:23:00.000-04:00

The Devil Within Her has the awesomely sexy Joan Collins, similarly sexy Caroline Munro, latter-day Hammer star Ralph Bates, and Donald Pleasance. Lucy (Collins) is a former stripper who was cursed by a rapey dwarf when she spurns his advances. Nine months after her marriage she has a toothsome and scratchy 12 pound baby that proceeds to make her life hell.

Verdict: Could have been worse. I am sick at the moment, and was drifting in and out. Made by the Rank company, so has some Hammer elements going for it.

Lunatic Fringe (Allison Moon, 2011) @TalesofthePack

2011-09-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Allison Moon's first novel, Lunatic Fringe is released today [link] in paperback and eBook formats. I did a Premature Book Review on it a few weeks back, and have since finished the book, so I thought I'd do a post mortem review as well.

First, the part that often concerns readers; the ending. We have quite a nice build to, and bitter-sweet ending here. It does not give you the impression that the author thought oh, shit. I'd better wrap this up. There is a natural progression to the finale, and despite Moon's statement that there is a sequel in the works, it does not end on a cliffhanger.

A bit more about the eroticism. It does get heavier, particularly in one scene, but is far from trashy. It is a more noticeably lesbian sex scene than those previous, but still has an intimate feeling for the reader, in my opinion. There is one bit that is perhaps outside the norm, depending on where you sit.

Now, in my previous review I mentioned Twilight and how there are some similarities and some differences. The main difference, in the end, is that Lexie Clarion (our protagonist) is not hopelessly in love with the werewolf. Well, she is and is not. The werewolf is Lexie's first love in many ways, so there is that first love component, but she is not blinded by it. Where Bella Swan cares little for the harm that threatens her, Lexie knows there are risks, and does not particularly like certain aspects of her lover's necessary character. In Twilight the conflict is "I want to be a vampire with you" versus "I don't want you to be a vampire," the conflict in Lunatic Fringe is more complicated. Part of this likely comes from not writing for teenage girls.

In all, it is a nicely written story. The plot is solid, and for a self publisher there are remarkably few typos (tip o'the hat to Allison's proofreader(s)). You can pick it up today from TalesofthePack.com as a trade-size paperback ($11.99) or an eBook ($6.99, sent via email) in Mobi, ePub, and/or PDF formats, so if you like digital (like I do) you have options.

Nerd Girl of Note #132: Kat Dennings

2011-09-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

There was a time when I did not know who Kat Dennings was, then against better judgement perhaps, I watched The Forty Year-Old Virgin. Two positives from that experience. First, I discovered I liked the movie for the most part. Second, I found out who Kat was. In truth though, her video blogging sealed the deal, particularly the one below. How could anyone who made this not be completely awesome? Go a head and watch it. I'll wait.

So, once in a while I will joke on this blog about my attempts to contact Kat via Twitter. It was really only once, and I decided to make a joke out of it. It came up a few more times, perplexing even long time readers.

Anyway, my review on 2 Broke Girls got me to thinking about the above video, which led me to the realization that I had not included one of my favorite celebs in this column. So, Kat, if you're reading this, love ya and hope I am completely wrong about the show.

Clerics Get No Love

2011-09-27T14:29:00.001-04:00

I've been toying with a little D&D comic strip I call "Clerics Get No Love." The art is not so hot, but some of the strips are funny. If you want to check it out, it is on Tumblr at clerics.tumblr.com. I have a few regular characters, but most are only called by their class. I make fun of clerics a bit, but also D&D. Just my attempt at satire.

AiN Comics

2011-09-25T12:10:00.001-04:00

So, boredom and a capacitive stylus got me to make a few silly comics that I have had on my mind for a while. Nothing Great, but posting for your potential enjoyment.

Bowling for Boobies, One Month Left! @bowling4boobies

2011-09-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

In case you missed my post from August, I wanted to do a little reminder. Bowling for Boobies is a bowling tournament to raise assistance money for women with breast cancer. Some of my favorite ladies are involved, all friends of the blog and Nerd Girl of Note alumni; Darla Crane, Starina Johnson, and Brooke Lewis. Previous post and more information here.

I know times are tough, but if you are able, send a few bucks their way. It is for a good cause, and will help me use my blog super powers for good :-) The tournament is October 23rd, and you can donate with Paypal or credit cards.

Direct donation links:

Nerd Girl of Note #131: Angelique Trouvere

2011-09-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

Another noteworthy cosplayer is Angelique Trouvere, best known for her role in Frank Thorne's live Red Sonja show. It is a tad difficult to find anything about her, save that she was quite an active cosplayer and costume designer in her day. She always struck me as the closest to Thorne's Sonja ideal.

That's all I've got. Just wanted to give the lady a nod.

Angelique as "Satana"

As "Vampirella"

Michael Jai White Fitness/Stunt Video

2011-09-22T09:21:00.000-04:00

This was sent to me by Vice.com, and since I know we have a lot of Michael Jai "Black Dynamite" White fans I figured I should post it. The video is from GonzoWorldTV on YouTube. Funny stuff.

Hack/Slash (Image, 2007)

2011-09-22T08:38:00.000-04:00

As the world of comics reopens itself to me I am delving into areas that looked interesting, but never got me to open my wallet. Thanks to digital, I decided to give Hack/Slash a try.

It is appropriately dark for my tastes thus far. Cassandra "Cassie" Hack hunts serial killers with her partner Vlad "The Meatman" whom she meets in Chicago. Cassie's mother, it appears, was a serial killer and it is likely that Cassie gets her penchant for violence from her.

I have only read issue #1, but this one looks like a keeper. I prefer digital, but will have to see if getting compilations would be more cost-efficient. Here is a fun bit I found on Tumblr, completely unrelated to issue #1. Dexter vs Jason vs Hack/Slash. Click image to expand.

"We are blood spatter experts also, yes?"

Was This Rude of Me?

2011-09-21T08:29:00.001-04:00

I am not the biggest Doctor Who fan in the world, and I will admit that I have not seen most of the Doctors in action. I have noticed lately that there is virtually no looking back for the new fans. I don't blame them. The Doctor Who specials on BBC America lately kind of got this started in my head, as they only look at the Matt Smith Doctor. Anyway, this is a fake "name The Doctor" form as compiled by a fictional new Whovian.

The Middleman (Javier Grillo-Marxauch, 2008)

2011-09-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

I first heard of The Middle Man when I did a little NGoN post on Natalie Morales a few weeks back. Since, here and elsewhere, I had heard nothing but great things about the show, so I decided to take a look.

Originally a comic book, The Middle Man deals with a hero, known only by that name, and his assistant, Wendy Watson. Wendy is a down on her luck art school graduate with an amazing ability to cope with the bizarre. She is contacted by The Middle Man to work with him fighting the evils that plague mankind, be they supernatural, extraterrestrial, or just plain weird.

It is very much like the John Steed/Emma Peel version of The Avengers, with some Men in Black thrown in. The Middle Man is a talented veteran who, while carrying a sidearm, tends to eschew gun-play. Wendy Watson, as Emma Peel, is a "talented amateur" who is highly capable of taking care of business.

A great part of the show, and I assume the comic book, is the allusions to pop culture. Wendy's friend "Noser" always starts a musical conversation, and once it involved Rush's "Spirit of the Radio" without naming the song specifically. Sorry, but you get points with me for that. Also there is some great references to lesser known tid-bits, such as the discussion of the little known yet regularly panned Zombies of Mora Tau which Wendy watches. Her future boyfriend questions her taste/nerdhood until she explains that it is a zombie movie palate-cleanser which makes Night of the Living Dead brand new for her.

It is an extremely enjoyable show that is available on DVD and at iTunes, but was sadly cancelled. The first season might be all we needed though. I tend to appreciate when things don't go on too long. If you are worried about single season cancelled shows I will let you know, and this is not a spoiler, that it does not end on a cliff hanger.

2 Broke Girls (CBS, 2011)

2011-09-20T10:03:00.000-04:00

CBS' new sitcom 2 Broke Girls stars Kat Dennings (The 40 Year-Old Virgin, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist) as "Max" and relative newcomer Beth Behrs (NCIS, Castle) as "Caroline" in an old-fashioned The Odd Couple-styled friendship. Unfortunately, if the premiere episode is any indication, it is terrible. I had high hopes for it, as despite my imaginary Twitter feud with Kat Dennings, she is still a favorite who I find funny and ridiculously sexy. Also, one of the creators, Whitney Cummings, can be quite funny. The show did not give me much of either.

There are a few decent jokes, but frankly, the delivery is pretty stale, and there is not really much original about it. I am not sure Kat Dennings' boobs and creepy beauty will keep me interested in this one; and frankly thus far that is all the show has going for it. Clip below has every good joke, and most of the bad jokes, from the premiere.

Machete (Robert Rodriguez, 2010)

2011-09-20T09:01:00.001-04:00

Well, it took me a while but I finally got around to watching Fan-Boy Icon Danny Trejo in Robert Rodriguez's neo-Mexploitation, Machete. Lots of Rodriguez regulars in this one. Aside from Trejo we have Jeff Fahey (Planet Terror), Cheech Marin (From Dusk 'til Dawn), Tom Savini (From Dusk 'til Dawn, Planet Terror), and Rodriguez's nieces Elektra and Elise Avellan ("The Crazy Babysitter Twins" from Planet Terror). In addition we have Robert DeNiro, Don Johnson, Nerd Girl of Note Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Steven Segal.

You may remember that the film sprung from a faux trailer created for Grindhouse (Tarantino/Rodriguez, 2007) about a Mexican hit man set-up by crooked politicians. It was a very Roger Corman way of going about things. Where Corman would make a poster then build a film around it, Rodriguez made a trailer. If nothing else it completely delivers on what it promises, and fits the Mexploitation genre perfectly. Like Blaxploitation, it has violence and sex, crooked white people getting their just desserts, and an underlying political message (though in this case, due to current trends in border security, the political message is very much on top). Blaxploitation films almost always had a revolutionary aspect, as does Machete.

While not a great film in all regards, it is a good exploitation film, taking much from the films it is modeled after and adding a touch of improved special effects. It gets a little corny at times, particularly with the army of cholos in low riders, but that is part of the formula. Trejo's acting is good. He can be extremely menacing and still deliver on the humor. He is definitely showing his age though. The man is sixty-seven years old, so you can't really let that bother you. Rodriguez pulls out some of his stunts from previous films, notably the limousine sun roof assault used with Trejo in Desperado (1995). Probably the most disappointing performance in the film is Jessica Alba's, who may have been trying to channel bad-actress vibes from the Seventies. If that is the case she should have taken some lessons from Lindsay Lohan who had that down pat. Steven Segal was likely good for Steven Segal. Jeff Fahey was Jeff Fahey, which is pretty good to begin with. Don Johnson and Robert DeNiro were fun as corrupt Texan fascists.

If you want to see a fun, gory slugfest with nasty villains and bad ass heroes, plus a little T&A on the side, this one is well worth your time. It is not the Jackie Brown of Mexploitation, but is still a lot of fun.

Fan-Boy Icon Revisited (@amazing_mask)

2011-09-19T08:00:00.000-04:00

I had an idea for this week's Fan-Boy Icon, but was not ready to get a post together. Instead, we'll do a quick update on a previous entry, filmmaker Dani Moreno. I know many of you enjoyed The Amazing Mask, and there is a new episode. If you have not seen the first one it is directly below. Episode two is below it. Enjoy! There is more of NGoN Dunia Montenegro in this as well.

Nerd Girl of Note #130: Megan Fox

2011-09-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

I have not been the nicest guy when it comes to Megan Fox. I'll admit it. However, between Jennifer's Body and her purported feud with Michael "We Need More Explosions" Bay, I am kind of learning to dig her. This is likely old news to many of you, but I don't care a tinker's cuss about Transformers, be it movies or cartoons, so it is semi-news to me about her dumping the series or being fired from it. Whichever story is true works for me. Either she quit because she thought Michael Bay was a complete bastard, or got fired for saying Michael Bay was a complete bastard. Either earns her a check in my win column. Here is a trashy entertainment show report on the feud.

Outside of Jennifer's Body, I am not overly familiar with her work. She did quite a bit of television prior to Transformers transforming her into a major star. She was a regular on Ocean Avenue and Hope & Faith, and bits on Two and a Half Men, What I Like About You, and The Help. On the heels of Transformers she was in a film I have yet to see, but has a pretty stellar cast; How to Lose Friends and Alienate People where she costars with Kirsten Dunst, Gillian Anderson, Jeff Bridges and Simon Pegg.

One thing I found that was pretty awesome was the fake trailer for "Teresa" from How to Lose Friends and Alienate People in which Fox's character stars in an NC-17 biopic on Mother Teresa. The acting looks horrible, but if you have watched as many sleazy films as I have you will see the performance as spot-on.

So, what the Hell? If you were on the opposite side of the fence with me, give her another look. She is still a bit too Angelina Jolie clone looking for me to get seriously into in a lusty way, but her work is not as bad as I had previously considered it. The toe-thumbs skeeve me out a bit too.

It is that time of year again... (@MyLFL)

2011-09-15T17:49:00.000-04:00

Friday night will bring us the 4th week of Lingerie Football League play with the Orlando Fantasy at the Baltimore Charm. There have been some changes to the format on MTV2 [LFL schedule] this year, four new teams added, and frankly a lot of improvement in player skill level.

If you've seen my past posts, you know that I am not much of a sports fan, but have learned to become an LFL fan, and it is not just the sexy. Not just. The LFL is a more enjoyable form of football in my mind. It is like the NFL in the 1960s. Tough people who want to be football players. The rules are more similar to arena football.

The level of play has seriously improved since last year. There were definitely some awesome players, but quite a few that did not quite fit in. This year I have not seen a single player who looks like she should be sitting down, and that includes new players for the newly formed teams.

The change in format on MTV2 is actually a welcomed one. Last year games were merely thirty minute highlight reels, which appealed to my short attention span. Now entire games are broadcast, but it is remarkably no-nonsense. None of those ten minute NFL breaks that drag a game on forever. Now you get to see more of the players in action, particularly those who are not in the glory positions.

New teams this year are the Las Vegas Sin, the Minnesota Valkyrie and Green Bay Chill in the Western Conference, and the Cleveland Crush and Toronto Triumph in the Eatern. Games are broadcast on MTV2's "Friday Night Football" at 10PM. If you DVR it, make sure to record the show after as well, as I always seem to lose the last 10 minutes of a game on the DVR.

Now, some players to look for:

Green Bay Chill #17 Angela Matthews: this 5'7" 180lb rookie known as "Big Momma" is a battering ram. Matthews plays running-back and defensive line. She reminds me of Dolphins Hall of Fame running-back Larry Csonka. Her background is in rugby.

Tampa Breeze #11 Saige Steinmetz: As far as I was concerned there was no better rookie, and few better players last year than Steinmetz. She tackles like Packers Hall of Famer Ray Nitschke. In last weeks game against Philadelphia there was a play where they had three blockers covering Saige, and she still got her hand on the running-back. Her background is in soccer.

Philadelphia Passion #6 Marirose Roach: Easily the best running-back in the LFL, but a terror on defense as well. Call me crazy, but this woman could play in the NFL. She is strong and fast, hits like a truck and runs like Barry Sanders. If you don't watch any other game, you have to watch a Passion game just to watch her play (Oct 29th). Roach also plays in a more traditional-style women's football league.

Tampa Breeze #5 Eliese Zukelman: When I asked LFL veteran Carie Small who her favorite players were this year, she responded with one name. Eliese plays cornerback, but is a fill in for most other positions, notably as a linebacker. Note for my Jewish friends, Eliese is a member of the Tribes, so root for Tampa or it's a shanda fur die goyim.

Une Vieille Maîtresse (Catherine Breillat, 2007)

2011-09-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes streaming services get you to watch some gems you might not have otherwise bothered with. Une Vieille Maîtresse (The Last Mistress) is such a film. The main draw, and the primary reason I came across it, was the film's star, Asia Argento.

The story involves a young libertine, Ryno de Marigny (model Fu'ad Aït Aattou), a noble of small means who falls in love with a woman of questionable lineage, Vellini (Argento). She is the illegitimate child of an Italian noblewoman and a Spanish matador, married to an English baronet. In the present Marigny is set to marry Hermangarde (Roxane Mesquida). Her guardian is her grandmother who has some concerns over Marigny past. Soon before the wedding the old woman convinces him to tell her the story of his ten year affair with Vellini. This takes up the bulk of the film's narrative.

Aattou is fairly good in the film for a fairly unaccomplished actor. Director Catherine Breillat discovered him in a café, and the role and tone of the film require little more of him than to be attractive and read lines... well, that is what models do best. Argento gets the most personality, though this is a rather staid film for a romantic/erotic period piece. She does show off a lot of her acting talent though and should dispel any belief that her career is based on her looks, willingness to disrobe, and her famous father.

The film is rather beautiful to watch. The scenery, sets and costuming are all nicely done. Despite the French language with subtitles, it is rather compelling. It is a very good movie to chill out to. There are no fight scenes, and the one duel that takes place was Xanax fueled. Great rainy afternoon movie for the coming Fall.

Premature Book Review: Lunatic Fringe (Allison Moon, 2011) | @TalesofthePack

2011-09-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

In my normal spirit of full disclosure I'll start by saying this review is of an unreleased book and I was contacted by the author about doing a review. No monies have changed hands. :-)

Lunatic Fringe is a "is a coming-of-age, lesbian paranormal romance" telling the story of Lexie Clarion. The author, Allison Moon, is pretty notable in the LGBT literary/academic community [bio] and this is her first novel.

Now, on the surface this story might smack a bit of Twilight, which I do not intend as an insult. You may remember that I do not share the ire for Ms Meyer's work so prevalent on the internet, nor the love felt for it either. The similarities are a bit superficial. A young woman from a broken home moves to a new school in the Pacific Northwest and falls in with a group of paranormals. It pretty much ends there. The book is likely closer to The Secret History or The Basic Eight in story style. Like Richard from The Secret History or Flannery from The Basic Eight, Lexie finds herself in a world she is unprepared for and sucked into a tight group that only warily invites outsiders. It is very enjoyable thus far. I like to do reviews without completing the book as it prevents me from spoiling plot twists, and I generally know in the first few chapters if I intend to finish a book or not. I am a slow reader, and yesterday read the first 100 pages, so from an enjoyability standpoint that is high praise.

A big part of the book deals with Feminism, and it is handled nicely here. For years Feminism has gotten a bad name, thanks to the right wing's attacks on all things not rich-white-male related. I know many women who would never call themselves Feminists, but if you told them their gender was the reason for their inequality they would be pissed. This narrative approach to discussing Feminism allows Moon to look at Feminism from many angles and make arguments that are not as effective in non-fiction. In non-fiction it is bad form to undermine your own argument in the spirit of discussion unless you are masterful at such things. Fiction allows for the various points of view to come from individual entities, even though all entities are in fact the author.

To call back to Twilight there is another difference here. In Meyer's books you know that there are vampires, and it is pretty clear who they are. All you have to do is read the blurb. In Lunatic Fringe you know there are werewolves, but it is not completely clear who they are. For me this has created much of the enjoyment. This and the desire to know what the eventual conflict will be. The book has staying power, and is obviously building without showing its hand too early.

A concern for some might be the potential for eroticism in this book. While in a classic sense it is erotic, it is not (yet at least) erotic in the modern bastardization of the word, i.e. it is not what I believe many would call dirty or pornographic. If we must, let's call it evocative or alluring instead. As of yet there has been no graphic description of genitalia or of sexual acts, but the loves scenes are not without hotness. They are perhaps similar to Le Fanu's Carmilla, or even the exchanges between Fanny and Charles in Cleland's Fanny Hill (though I have not read that in years, so those scenes may be more graphic than I recall). They are not even all that "lesbian" if I may be so bold, but rather Universal expressions of love and yes, lust between people written in such a way that does not require gender identification from the reader.

Lunatic Fringe will be released September 30th 2011. Paperback and eBook pre-order information, as well as tickets to the release party at San Fransico's El Rio, can be found here. By email Moon said she is working on a sequel. I think it will be well worth book lovers time, and unlikely to disappoint.

Sita Sings the Blues (Nina Paley, 2008)

2011-09-13T08:41:00.002-04:00

Filmmaker Nina Paley has created a wonderful little film based on the ancient story of The Ramayana called Sita Sings the Blues. The tagline "the greatest break-up story ever told" is apt, but more on that in a bit.

The film has been licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License, which basically means you may download it, modify it, distribute it, but may not copyright it. Paley feels that culture needs to follow the Open Source Software community, and that those in the public who can afford to support artists generally will. This is similar to Amanda Palmer's "pay what you can" philosophy. Here is a snippet from the film's webpage:

I hereby give Sita Sings the Blues to you. Like all culture, it belongs to you already, but I am making it explicit with a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License. Please distribute, copy, share, archive, and show Sita Sings the Blues. From the shared culture it came, and back into the shared culture it goes.

You don't need my permission to copy, share, publish, archive, show, sell, broadcast, or remix Sita Sings the Blues. Conventional wisdom urges me to demand payment for every use of the film, but then how would people without money get to see it? How widely would the film be disseminated if it were limited by permission and fees? Control offers a false sense of security. The only real security I have is trusting you, trusting culture, and trusting freedom.

There is a long story to The Ramayana, of course, but in essence Sita (the world's most beautiful woman) is betrothed to Prince Rama (an avatar of Vishnu) who has been banished for fourteen years. Sita goes with him into exile and is kidnapped by Ravana, the king of Lanka (Ceylon, or modern Sri Lanka) where she awaits her husband who she knows will save her.

The story is interspersed with discussions about the characters and the many changes to the story over time, as well as the inconsistencies (such as Sita leaving a trail of jewelry for Rama to follow, though apparently she went into exile with nothing). Also the nature of the characters versus their perceived good or evil reputations.

A big part of the film is the music of Annette Hanshaw, a popular jazz singer from the 1920s and '30s. The songs make up the bulk of Sita's dialogue and are fitted in so nicely with the story it is as though they were written for The Ramayana explicitly.

A fully animated film, it takes on many styles. There are "South Park" styled cut-out animations, as well as mixed media. In all it is a beautiful thing to watch, and a story that, like most ancient epics, cannot but be enjoyed. You can watch or download at the film's website, or check it out at Network Awesome, a community curated web "television" network.

Sita Sings the Blues (Nina Paley, 2008) on @NetworkAwesome

2011-09-12T15:23:00.000-04:00

I don't do this often, but was watching a few minutes of this film and wanted to spread the word. I shall have to wait for home and a reliable internet connection to see the whole thing. At first glance it is pretty awesome animation, and hopefully quite an interesting tale. You can watch this streaming, for free, on Network Awesome. I'm just going to post their release below.

Sita Sings the Blues on Network Awesome - Sept 12, 2011

Article by Bill Benzon:

Sita Sings the Blues is a 2008 animated feature film written, directed, produced and animated entirely by American artist Nina Paley.

Film critic Roger Ebert on the Chicago Sun-Times enthused, "I am enchanted. I am swept away. I am smiling from one end of the film to the other. It is astonishingly original. It brings together four entirely separate elements and combines them into a great whimsical chord... To get any film made is a miracle. To conceive of a film like this is a greater miracle."

The New York Times too praised the film's ingenuity, commenting that "[it] evokes painting, collage, underground comic books, Mumbai musicals and 'Yellow Submarine' (for starters),

Network Awesome is dependably surprising online TV. We feature 4-6 hours of daily programming curated from YouTube. Our innovative system stitches the
various links together and presents it linearly to the viewer. Sure, that's innovative - but our programming is the main feature.

Upcoming Network Awesome specials include:

The making of Iron Sky - Sept 16
The Films of John Whitney - Sept 17
The Network Awesome Salute to DRUGS - Sept 19 - 25 (A week long salute to the impact of Drugs on culture)

Fan-Boy Icon #53: Larry Welz (@LarryWelz)

2011-09-12T09:19:00.000-04:00

Cartoonist Larry Welz came out of the underground comics world of the late '60s with work in comics like Captain Guts, Bakersfield Kountry Komics, and American Flyer Funnies. His most successful work was with the Archie Comics inspired pornographic comic Cherry Poptart, later known simply as Cherry. It ran for twenty-two issues in the '80s and '90s. According to numerous mentions in the comic there was to be a live-action Cherry film, but to the best of my knowledge this never happened.

Initially, the comic took jabs at the Mom and Apple Pie version of American teens as portrayed in Archie. The characters in Cherry were promiscuous and no strangers to drug use. The comic became a bit more Sadean as it went along, attacking Christian mores more directly. Cherry was in my opinion a very Sadean libertine, sans the penchant for torture. She is a free spirit who rarely feels there is a moral line to cross, and promotes that idea in others. There is very little in the way of a story arc, though it will call back to previous issues from time to time. The stories are similar to Mad Magazine style parody, often mixing elements for dual parody (such as a Star Trek TNG meets Star Wars story). As the series developed the comics would typically have a theme connecting each story, or the entire book would be a single story.

I do enjoy Welz's work. It is at times very smart for what is essentially mere pornography. Cherry is less victim than is typical, and while Welz often calls her a bimbo she is given quite a bit of insight and not portrayed as stupid. As victim-hood goes, Cherry typically selects her sexual partners rather than them being thrust [ahem] upon her. My biggest concern is in the occasional treatment of black characters. There are not many, which is typical of the comics that Cherry is satirizing, but when they are it is rather offensive. Whether this is parody of American thought of the day or actual opinion is hard to determine from the comic. I would like to think it is the former, but there is some other awkward talk in the book, particularly concerning AIDS... however, growing up in the beginning of the AIDS crisis I do remember how poor information was and the numerous conspiracy theories. It was a difficult thing to deal with, and we still don't have all the answers.

I am not sure how active Welz is these days. Apparently he took a stab at Tumblr for a while, Twitter too, and has a Cherry Comix website where you can get a hold of the comics as well as original artwork. The comics are worth checking out, provided you are of the appropriate age.

Dawn of the Dead (Zack Snyder, 2004)

2011-09-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

So, a few days ago I watched Dario Argento's Inferno (second in the "Witches Trilogy"). I did not really get into, and was not sure why. What is it about the Italians that does not appeal to me? Last night I watched Zack Snyder's reboot of Dawn of the Dead, and I think I know now.

This is an excellent example of how to "reboot" a property. It is close to the original in a few ways. One of the primary characters is a cop (two were in the original) and the group holes up in a shopping mall (a considerably larger group this time). It is also a character driven film. This might be where the Italians fail me. In both Suspiria and Inferno I could not tell you a single thing about characters other than what they look like and what they did for a living. In both versions of Dawn of the Dead films I can tell you something personal about each major character, and at least a bit about the minor ones.

Our primary leads are Michael (Jake Weber, Medium) and Ana (Sarah Polley, Avonlea) and secondary leads are Ken (Ving Rhames, Pulp Fiction) and C.J. (Michael Kelly, The Sopranos). Michael sells televisions at Best Buy, and is the de facto leader of the team. He has the personal skills to handle the various factions and personalities in an attempt to achieve their goal; survival. He has been married/divorced three times and has children, and is concerned about not only his team's survival, but anyone else who might come around. Ana is a nurse, and is torn between self-preservation and the idea of killing zombies. I don't know if "do no harm" is part of a nurse's oath, but as a healer she is loathe to kill; even zombies. Ken is bad-ass number one. He is a cop with implied military experience. He is slow to joining the team, having personal well being at the top of his priority list.

Sarah Polley as "Ana"

The character that receives the most development, however, is C.J. He is the head of mall security. He and three other security guards were in the mall prior to the other characters arriving. His objective is to keep himself and his men alive, and is not concerned with outsiders. He is pretty much a typical redneck personality-wise. They don't explain his past, but he is handy with a weapon, fearless in a fight, and not what you would call stupid (though perhaps misguided would be appropriate). Ultimately he is the most heroic of the bunch, taking serious chances to preserve the safety of others.

Michael Kelly as "C.J."

One complaint about this movie is the "fast zombie" factor. This is a big dividing line amongst zombie enthusiasts, especially since this is a Romero remake without the Romero zombies. Well, almost. There are a large number of fast zombies and most of the zombie fighting action employs them. Sure, there are masses of zombies just milling around in the standard Romero fashion, but once there is prey to be had, they tend to speed up. This seems only natural, if I may use such a term in a zombie discussion. Romero zombies are predators, not the mindless walking dead of the Voodoo tradition. If you can't catch food, you don't eat. Also, Romero has never shied away from the idea of an "alpha zombie" and as with any group of predators the alpha is the best hunter. Even though Romero does not employ the fast zombie (except perhaps in Land of the Dead) his vision sets precedence for them. The primary fear factors of a zombie movie are the hopelessness of the heroes' situation and the fear of assimilation. The speed of the zombies has little bearing on these in my opinion.

Now, back to the Italians. In Inferno I did not care about a single character, and did not understand what they hoped to accomplish. That is not to say it was not a scary film. There were some serious creep-out moments. Typically in horror films many of the characters die, and it is a major part of the fear. Whether they are killed by demonic forces, a crazed killer with a chain saw, or turned into one of the undead throng, the death of any character is important to making a film scary. This is heightened when you care about the character, at at times more so when you dislike a character and he buys it. While the Argento films certainly have powerful imagery, for my money give me a character I want to survive.

Nerd Girl of Note #129: Yaya Han (@yayahan)

2011-09-09T06:00:00.000-04:00

There is a lot of amazing cosplay out there, and one of the best (if not the best) is Yaya Han.

You don't have to look hard to find Yaya on the web. A simple Tumblr search will provide a bounty of images (or just click here). Or, check out her website. She's been at it for over a decade, and according to her bio did not know how to sew when she first got the cosplaying bug. She designs and sells costumes now. Like Elvira and "The Monarch," it is not for her cosplay so much as coslife. I can respect that.

Enough talk. Check out some of the awesome:

"Felicia" from Darkstalkers

"Absinthe Fairie"

"Amber" from Sucker Punch

Marvel's "Lady Deathstrike"

Anime-styled "Wonder Woman"

Retro-styled Space Girl

As "Psylocke" with some friends.

"Catwoman"

"Black Cat"

"Christie" from Dead or Alive

Get Ready for the October Horror Movie Challenge!

2011-09-08T15:11:00.001-04:00

It is almost that time. October means The October Horror Movie Challenge: 31 Days, 31 Movies, No Excuses. I did this last year, and saw a lot of films I had been consciously or unknowingly avoiding. They were not all gems, but it was still fun. Check out the FB page started by Dr. Morbius here.

Below is my list of films from last year, all of which were reviewed on the blog. At the bottom is a link to their tag. Want to play along? Watch a movie a day in October and mention it on your social media drug of choice. Easy, right?

Eyes of Laura Mars
The People Under the Stairs
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Dracula (1931)
The Killer Inside Me
Planet Terror
Zombies Anonymous
Death Proof
Elvira's Haunted Hills
The Omen
Phantasm / Cruising
Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks
The Food of the Gods / Rabid
Smash Cut
Sugar Hill
Dreams of Cthulhu: The Rough Magik Initiative
Plan 9 from Outer Space
Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny & Girly
Fido
Blood Moon Rising
The Devil's Wedding Night
Monstroid
Lady Frankenstein
Jennifer's Body
Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde / Smile
Body Double
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus / Witchblade (anime)
Shock Treatment
The Brain that Wouldn't Die / Nine Dead
Lake Dead
The Masque of the Red Death

See the Reviews

Vampires Suck (Friedberg/Seltzer, 2010)

2011-09-08T09:00:00.000-04:00

I am a sucker for spoofs. I like Airplane! and all the Scary Movie films. I don't often go out of my way to see them, but it has been known to happen. I wanted to see Vampires Suck primarily for the inclusion of the almost overly sexy and highly funny Anneliese van der Pol (That's So Raven).

Primarily this is a spoof of the Twilight series, with occasional forays into other films. What sold me early on was a tiny little reference to Tommy Wiseau's The Room and a similarly tiny shout out to Sixteen Candles. From what I can tell it sticks to the Twilight story fairly well. I read the first book and saw the first film only. It is not quite as critical as the title suggests, and tries to be for both the lovers and the haters of the series.

The bad: It can get awfully cartoony at times. Deidrich Bader (The Drew Carey Show, Office Space, Batman: the Brave and the Bold) is funny, but pretty much plays every dad in every spoof ever made out of a teen film. I like the guy, but it is really just Randy Quaid from Not Another Teen Movie all over again. Also, there are a few really, really stupid scenes that could have been lost, or should have been rewritten (I'm looking at you, David DeLuise).

The good: They really got the feel of the films down. Jenn Proske does a great job of mimicking Kristen Stewart. Matt Lanter (voices Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: the Clone Wars) is "Edward Sullen" and tries less to be a Robert Pattison spoof other than in looks. The overall look is very like the first Twilight film, and changing the name of the town from "Forks" to "Sporks" is a great bit of understated humor, even though in hindsight it seems the obvious choice. There is some parody emo music by The Magicwandos that is not only great satire, but also really good music, particularly the song "My Panties."

So, if you have been on the fence about this one but like some good guffaw-type humor you should give it a try. Appears to be DVD only from Netflix for now.

Tech Tuesday: Whamix!

2011-09-07T08:38:00.002-04:00

Among the many digital comic book readers out there I have tried, easily the worst is the Whamix! application.

I have a few problems with it. Navigation is not terribly easy, though slightly better than the IDW application mentioned yesterday. Their categorical listing is all over the place, and frankly, I have heard of none of their titles (this is my smallest complaint, as comic books are not my specialty). My biggest issue with the application is the inclusion of advertisements.

Now, I know that advertising and print media (digital print included) go together like chocolate and peanut butter, and that if I purchase any Marvel or DC title off the shelf I am going to see ads for a plethora of consumer goods. Same with most any magazine. I get that. Independent comic books are less likely to have advertisements, but there is always the possibility, be they for products or the company's own merchandise or titles. The issue I have here is that the Whamix! application has pop-up ads that appear when displaying a book. It is possible that when you purchase a title the pop-up does not appear, but frankly I did not care to take that chance.

If you want to include advertising, it needs to go in the media. I know we live in a click-through-count world where advertisers want to see how effective their advertisement is, but more effort should be taken in a media sales platform. The advertisement here is just the basic "make advertising money with your app" add-on that other free applications have. If I develop a lightweight application that might not really make many sales, then offering it free and including advertising of this sort makes perfect sense; particularly if it is something people could use, but are unlikely to take the chance that it is a) worth the purchase price or b) something they might actually need. If, however, my application's goal is to get you to pay me $1.99 for a comic book, then a pop-up ad that distracts your enjoyment is both crass and frustrating. If you really desire ad revenue of the click-through variety, then you need to include those advertisements in the media purchased, and develop your application in such a way that readers can click through in the desired manner. When a screen is only 7.76" x 5.82" and suddenly even a twentieth of that changes, you notice it. I can't imagine what it is like on the iPhone.

Bottom line; this is sloppy development. I would have to really want to read one of their titles to put up with this form of advertising, and unfortunately for Whamix!, they have nothing that seems thrilling enough.

Locke & Key (Joe Hill/Gariel Rodriguez, 2008)

2011-09-06T09:00:00.000-04:00

Locke & Key is a horror comic that I came across via kateordie this weekend. There are currently four collections out, the first of which is "Welcome to Lovecraft." This is a supernatural story involving a family who's father is murdered, a young misfit/psychopath, and a spirit of some sort, and culminates in Key House, found in Lovecraft, Massachusetts.

The story is a bit like a horror version of The Spiderwick Chronicles; fatherless family moves to old creepy house with a supernatural element. Fatherless children dealing with new school and home, new town and fresh grief. That's not to say the two are parallels, but there are some similarities. This one is much darker, and a touch on the gory side at times. The oldest son, Tyler, bears a lot of the grief for his father's murder, as the psychopathic killer tells him he did it for him after an offhand comment shared between the two.

Apparently, all the available issues are bound in four collections, both hard and soft-bound for $25 and $20 respectively, but digitally from IDW Publishing for $4.99 (at least on the iPad application). It is a nicely drawn comic, and the story is cohesive; none of that "lets throw this in and see if we want to run with it later" nonsense.

Quick note on the IDW application; it is fairly inferior to the comiXology application on a few levels, notably it does not have the Guided Tour aspect that makes comiXology very nice, but also once you start browsing their store it seems impossible to return to the storefront. Because of this it is hard to find special offers and free comics, as I assume you must know what they are to find them. Otherwise, they do have some interesting looking titles, and this was the first digital bundle of a series I have seen, so there are pluses.

My Third Blogiversary!

2011-09-04T09:00:00.002-04:00

So, today is the third blogiversary of Adventures in Nerdliness!

[holds for applause]

Glad to see so many new faces, as well as some who have been with me since the dark days of 2008, when I was just an aging nerd trying to find friends on the interwebz. I have met some of my favorite people thanks to this little labor of love/narcissism, and hope to keep it up. As of this writing I have 312 Google Followers, 55 Networked Blogs Followers, and Goggle shows 431 total subscribers through various conduits. Obviously there is some overlap.

As is tradition, here are some favorite posts, chronologically. Sort of:

Darius Whiteplume vs La Fée Verte
I went to see Lady Gaga
Maybe My Sense of Humor is Too Weird?
Succeeded (mostly) in completing the Halloween Horror Challenge (several posts)
Dressed as a zombie
Participated in the Paul Naschy Blogathon (several posts)
Did some episodes of the short lived "The Your Future Show" and "Video Blogging for the Unattractive Blogger"
I started/ended podcasting. The four episodes I did are here.
Made another famous friend in the person of NGoN#127 Starina Johnson after my review of Stuck!
Twilight Review
Hollywood Hiding the Nerd
Food Network: Is it Us or Them? - Inspired by Michael Symon noticing that I called him a "tool" on Twitter.
Nerd Girl of Note #100
Nerd Girl of Note #108 became one of my best Twitter buddies :-)
Bloody Mallory - A movie you should all check out.
The Corporatization of Nerd Culture, or "What Happened to Tom Baker?"
Nerd Girl of Note #112 left us.
What's So Bad About Ke$ha?
Hypocritical and Insensitive?

Nerd Girl of Note #128: Natalie Morales (@nataliemorales)

2011-09-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

The world can be a fascinating place when you are a nerd who lives in the past, because occasionally the present slaps you around and screams "wake up!" This happened to me recently while watching the Doctor Who specials running on BBC America in the VH1 "lets have people talk about the show for people who don't watch it" style. Lots of people we expect to be Whovians were involved, and then I saw a cute little nerd that many of you already knew as Natalie Morales. "Who is this woman, and why don't I already know about her?" my brain shouted for a moment, and then Chris Hardwick was back on screen and I dozed off (totally kidding).

So, once upon a 2008, there was a little show called The Middleman based on the comic book by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and Les McClaine. It appeared on ABC Family, and perhaps due to that fact came in well under my radar. Likely I am not alone, as despite some serious fandom the show only survived one season (which reminds me, watch State of Georgia, please. A world without Raven Symone is not one I want to live in).

After The Middleman, Morales appeared in the USA Network show White Collar as Special Agent Lauren Cruz in season one, and joined the cast of Parks & Recreation in 2010. She also did an episode of the tenuously perched The Cape on NBC. She has two films coming up, Freeloaders and Six Month Rule (both in post production as of this writing), as well as what appears to be a recurring role on the upcoming Chelsea Handler vehicle, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.

So, keep an eye out for Ms. Morales. I hope we see more of her. She's cute, funny, and any star who lists their website as their Tumblr is a-ok in my book.

The Middleman-Vampire Cows - watch more funny videos

Thundercats (2011)

2011-09-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

Believe me, I know that the entertainment industry is reboot crazy these days. Everything old must be given a modicum of new and sold as awesome. Sadly, there are a lot of failures created this way. Fortunately, there are a few shows that deliver. Thundercats is one of them.

The new version is a nice re-purposing of the original. We still have the basic cast of characters on the heroic side, and two notable classic villains; Slythe and of course Mum-Ra. The action takes place on Thundera this time. Rather than fleeing their homeworld, as in the original, the kingdom of the cats has fallen on bad times when Mum-Ra returns and leads the lizard men against the cats with the aid of advanced technology and a traitor cat leader. Lion-O and company are out to find the book of omens, certainly the only way to defeat the ever-living Mum-Ra.

A few nice things that they take into account, but do not beat you over the head with, are social issues. As with the original there are many types of cats, but only the lions may rule, thus some internal racial tension is created. The other notable race of "people" are the lizard men, whom the cats have no qualms about enslaving and/or destroying. Lion-O is aware of these issues, and it creates a perceived weakness in his character amongst those he rules. This time around Tigra is his adopted brother, and superior in most of the stereotypical leadership roles, but is rather rash and uncaring. Were he a lion he would have been heir apparent. Cheetara is part of a religious sect of sorts, having a bit of a mystical kung fu aspect to her character. Panthro is a general who was lost to Mum-Ra, but obviously makes a return. Willy Kit and Willy Kat are very much their old selves, save that they are street urchins who fall in with Lion-O's crew despite his reticence.

In all it is a nicely done show. There is some good fan-service for those aged enough to have grown up with the original. If I am not mistaken, Lion-O's father is voiced by the actor that originally voiced Lion-O in the '80s. There are still the "Thundercats, ho!" and "ancient spirits of evil..." lines. If you ask me, this was done with a lot of love for the original, but an understanding that remaking or continuing the original series would not make sense. It is definitely worth your time to check out.

Premature Game Review: Trollbabe (Ron Edwards, 2002)

2011-09-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

Here we have a game that wants to take me to a place I have never been, and may not wish to go: the storytelling RPG.

In Trollbabe all players portray trollbabes, a race somewhere between humans and trolls, but belonging to neither. These don't appear to be your typical D&D trolls. Maybe more Harry Potter trolls? Character creation is simple. Pick a number between two and ten. Anything you roll less than that number is a successful magic roll. Anything you roll over it is a successful fighting roll. Anything equal to or higher/lower (whichever range is greater) is a successful social roll. Conflict resolution is handled by declaring a goal for your action, and then deciding what type action to take. Success is decided by the game master and failure by the player.

Serious RPGers will likely find this rather wishy-washy. I described the game to the wife and she thought it was madness. I think it could be fun for those not overly interested in rules and who want a strong role-playing aspect. The rules are pretty simple; so simple in fact I had trouble getting a handle on them.

Trollbabes are big, fairly human looking, and have horns.

Website

WIP Wednesday: Bad Girls (Chadwick, McManus, Gallagher, 1999-2006)

2011-08-31T05:45:00.000-04:00

Two years after Oz launched in the US the British got a show called Bad Girls. Oz ran for six seasons, Bad Girls for eight. There are a lot of similarities, and notable differences. Bad Girls looks at many prisoners and prisoner groups, and it also looks at the staff quite a bit. There's a rapey/philandering guard, concerned guards, a warden whose intent is not always clear, an old couple that do not participate in the factions. All similar to Oz, but this is not a female version of the same show. Not exactly. It does follow the same WIP soap opera format, and since WIP is a formulaic enterprise to begin with the two are going to be superficially similar.

The show takes place in HMP Larkhall Womens Prison. Thus far, our good girl is Rachel Hicks (Joanne Froggatt), though she has yet to display the toughness which the good girl typically achieves. Our HBIC is Shell Dockley (Debra Stephenson), a lifer who runs the prison's drug trade. Her right hand is Denny Blood (Alicya Eyo). Our hardened veteran is Nikki Wade (Mandana Jones), who received a life sentence after killing a policeman who was attempting to rape her girlfriend. Our warden is Helen Stewart (Simone Lahbib), and the sadistic guard role is currently split between the annoying/uncaring Sylvia Hollamby (Helen Fraser) and the conniving/rapey Jim Fenner (Jack Ellis).

I have only seen a few episodes from season (series) one thus far, and it certainly appears to be building a bigger story. Whether it will also be similar to Oz in splitting off the main arc for several episodes is not clear; though it would be hard to hold a single arc for eight seasons.

Season one is available in the US on DVD from Netflix, and appears to be available at some expense through Amazon. The DVD set appears to have launched in 2006, so there seems little chance of later seasons being released here. Many of the seasons are available in the UK at various prices, most appear to still be in print.

Easily my favorite character is Denny Blood. Alicya Eyo does a lot of great acting with her, adding odd little character traits that really bring her to life. In the scene below, Denny is trying to write to her mother. Denny is just learning to read and write, so needs a little assistance.

FreeVideoCoding.com

Find out more about the show at the official homepage.

HBIC Shell Dockley and Enforcer Denny Blood

Nerd Girl of Note #127: Starina Johnson (@starinajohnson)

2011-08-27T09:39:00.036-04:00

So, I am looking through the Nerd Girl of Note list and I see two things that trouble me. One, I did Elizabeth Kaitan twice. Two, I have neglected to profile my Twitter buddy Starina Johnson.

I first saw Starina in Steven Balderson's Stuck!, a retro-styled WIP film which takes the rather tawdry genre and adds some class to it (available on DVD from Netflix now, btw). Starina stars as Daisy, a good girl who finds herself wrongly convicted of murdering her mother. She also appears in Balderson's Watch Out, the story of a maddeningly narcissistic serial killer. Starina is also in Balderson's Casserole Club as "Kitty Bloom" - this one I have yet to see.

I talk to Starina on Twitter every now and then, and she is always pleasant and fun. The profile picture here is her doing some Dolly Parton modeling, which she said was just for fun. She is also on the Speed Demons team for Bowling for Boobies, which supports the Busted Foundation. Read my post on how they operate and how you can contribute here. Check her out and look for her movies.

Links:

2011-08-25T14:00:00.004-04:00

Mercy Sparx is the story of a devil girl in Hell's slums who gets an offer to go to Earth to take care of some business for a divine rather than infernal agency. The artwork is fair, if a tad garishly colored. The dialogue is not so bad. Might be an interesting story.

Free at comiXology

Dark Mists takes place in pre-1941 Japan. A group of Geisha have been assembled by a secret Imperial agency to act as spies to help control the Yakuza. They are expected only to listen and report, but that wouldn't be much of a comic book, would it?

Free at comiXology

Bronco Pinball for iPad

2011-08-24T14:53:00.001-04:00

There are free applications, and there are free applications worth having. Gottlieb's Bronco pinball for the iPad is the former. It is free until the flipper speed is corrected, according to the developers. Well, they have a few other issues to iron out as well.

The physics on the game are pretty terrible. Direction tends to be ok, but the ball speed seems uncannily uniform. Even the plunger seems to only send the ball at one speed regardless of how far it is pulled, and it it very wonky on when it wants to release. Beside the flipper speed, there is also an issue with the right flipper sticking.

I really wish this was a better application. It is beautifully rendered, and lets face it, looks like a real machine. Below is not a photograph of the real thing, it is a screen capture from the game. Unfortunately, even for free it is not worth having.

WIP Wednesday: Jungle Warriors (Ernst R. von Theumer, 1984)

2011-08-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

Jungle Warriors is sold as a WIP film and a Sybil Danning vehicle. Frankly, it is neither. For the most part it is a Marjoe Gortner (Food of the Gods, Starcrash) movie with lots of window dressing. It does have the awesome John "Dean Wormer" Vernon as the awesomely yet inappropriately named "Vito Mastranga."

Frankly, this movie is so bad I am surprised Andy Sidaris did not make it. I spent several sittings trying to complete it, and just could not. There is the bad guy's head thug who uses a bow and arrow, yet it is not a recurve bow and he only carries two arrows. Also, I don't remember him shooting it once. If he did, it certainly wasn't memorable enough to show him with it every time he appears on camera. Danning has a few minutes to try out her Dyanne Thorne impersonation, but to little effect. BTW, don't get me wrong. I like Andy Sidaris and Sybil Danning, but the comparisons here are, I believe, justified.

To the best of my knowledge, the only way to get a hold of this one is in a triple feature DVD partnered with the awesome Chained Heat (Linda Blair, Sybil Danning, Tamara Dobson, Jill St. John) and Red Heat (Linda Blair, Sylvia Kristel). If WIP is your thing, it is a set worth getting. Skip Jungle Warriors though, unless you want to see Marjoe Gortner bite it. And who doesn't?

I Want to be a Creepy Uncle, but in a Good Way

2011-08-23T12:27:00.000-04:00

So, we had a family gathering at my folks' house this weekend. One sister was in town from DC, and the other was there with husband and kids in tow. My nieces are seven and four, and finally becoming interesting after years of being scared to death of me. Kids...

Anyway, I discovered that the four year old loves zombies. OK, I am thinking, someone is watching Scooby-Doo. Does she really like zombies, or is this a put on? So, I showed her a game on my iPad, Zombie Dice from Steve Jackson Games.

The link above takes you to my Zombie Dice review.

She stared at it in fascination. The zombie face in the game moves a bit and talks. I looked back at her and asked, "do you like zombies?" Still staring, I received a silent nod of the head. "Do you watch Scooby-Doo?" Another nod.

Well, then I find out that she scares her sister by making her zombie face. I think it is my sworn duty to encourage, nay expand upon this trait. Here is idea number one...

A plush toy from the game Plants vs Zombies. Approximately 10".

I have two uncles, one a fairly smart douche bag, the other a very smart nerd. I was not around either too much, but both shaped the way I look at things. Grown ups tend to do that to kids. I think it would be awesome for her to know that she likes this sort of thing at a young age, and have an adult that does not think it is silly. Of course, one must weigh the parental point-of-view in such decisions. My sister already knows I am weird, but how weird is she willing to let me make her kid? The road to perdition can be a hard one, but a fun journey all the same.

Any thoughts from you beautiful people? I am torn between asking my sister if getting the kid a zombie toy is acceptable and just mailing her one. If there is one thing a zombie loving kid loves more than zombies, it is getting a zombie in the mail (or at least, that is my hope). Discuss, if you like :-)

Femforce (AC Comics, 1985)

2011-08-23T08:40:00.002-04:00

Shon Richards hepped me to Femforce from AC Comics, which purports to be the first all female superhero team. It ran for over 150 issues (20 years), which is quite good for an independent comic book. The book has some original characters, and some are revamped characters from the forties and fifties that had fallen into the public domain.

The first several issues are pretty straight-forward comic book material with an old serial feel to them. I was expecting it to be mostly cheesecake and parody. Certainly as the run continues it will get to be more of a T&A comic and start making fun of itself, but that happens with anything that has a long lifespan.

The main characters thus far are Ms. Victory, The Blue Bulleteer/Night Veil, She-Cat, Rita Rio, and Tara the Jungle Girl. While all have some male counterparts in other comics, they are still pretty solid characters on their own. Ms. Victory is a bit like Captain America, She-Cat is perhaps a bit Wolverine-like, Tara the Jungle Girl is similar to many jungle characters like Tarzan. The oddest of the lot, perhaps, is The Blue Bulleteer. She is like many pulp heroes (The Shadow, perhaps) before becoming Night Veil, who is like Doctor Strange or Doctor Fate.A recurring character who appears in Femforce is Colt, a take on western comics, but with a more modern twist.

There were numerous spin-offs and team-ups with other AC Comics characters, and even a Femforce role playing game called Superbabes by Tri-City Games. Well worth looking into for comic book fans.

You can find more information, and see some of the issues, at Cosmo Bell's blog.

She-Cat, Ms. Victory, and The Blue Bulleteer

Nerd Girl of Note #126: Nina Hagen

2011-08-19T09:00:00.005-04:00

It might be a trait of the MTV generation to love people you know nothing about. German artist Nina Hagen used to pop up on MTV back in the '80s, and despite not knowing a thing about her music I was convinced she was relevant to my interests. Like Wendy O. Williams she has clung to my consciousness without actually entering my inner musical library. In the 7th and/or 8th grade the young Darius had MTV for a brief but glorious period and Hagen along with Dale Bozzio of Missing Persons are most strongly imprinted on my psyche. Hagen was like a scary, fetishy version of Cyndi Lauper, and to this viewer, sexier than Madonna without trying as hard.

'Wir Leben Immer ... Noch"

Somewhat recently with Apocalyptica, "Seemann"

"Naturträne"

The Adventures of Savior (David LeVack, 2009) @levack

2011-08-18T11:48:00.001-04:00

The Adventures of Savior, written by David LeVack, is a extraterrestrial invasion story which will pit Earth against a space prison's escaped inmates. That is, all but one.

It is a cool story. The prison is a space ship, and to prevent the prisoners from taking over during a coup attempt, the crew decides to destroy the ship, but things do not go as planned and they find themselves on a little blue and green planet which you and I call home.

Check it out sometime. You can get it at Wowio for free and the creators get a taste from DirecTV.

Thursday Timewaster: 8tracks

2011-08-18T09:00:00.027-04:00

The totally rad Tenebrous Kate hepped me to 8tracks.com, a site that lets you share music, theoretically without fear of copyright violations. You start an account and upload songs to their server. You can then place eight songs into a mix which you can share. I believe you can only have one song by an artist and one song from the same album. You can arrange the songs in the order you want. When you listen to a mix it is always in that order, but when another user listens more than once the order is shuffled. You can pause and skip songs, but not replay them immediately. When you create a mix you can give it a title and description, as well as a mix image. You can either upload an image or use a URL.

The upload process seems to be a tad slow, and the first time you use it it appears nothing is happening. Look to the bottom right, below your mix list, and you will see upload progress. They have an iOS application, which is a little flaky, and their website works similarly on iOS. Both are just for playing. There does not appear to be a BlackBerry application. Unsure about Android.

I have done three mixes so far. Nothing great, but mixtapes were not quite my specialty. These have some decent songs, and tend to stick to a theme nicely. The "Strange Love" mix is my favorite. NSFW, by the way. Find my profile here.

WIP Wednesday: St. Trinian's School for Bad Girls (Oliver Parker, 2007)

2011-08-17T08:00:00.008-04:00

A lighter entry in this column, St. Trinian's School for Bad Girls is of course not a typical WIP entry, but as it is a boarding school for delinquent girls it certainly warrants some attention here. Originally this was a British comic by Ronald Searle who said, "A St. Trinian's girl would be sadistic, cunning, dissolute, crooked, sordid, lacking morals of any sort and capable of any excess. She would also be well-spoken, even well-mannered and polite. Sardonic, witty and very amusing. She would be good company. In short: typically human and, despite everything, endearing."

It is an oddity of sorts, as it stars Colin Firth (Brigitte Jones' Diary, The King's Speech) in the sort-of role of wicked warden, Rupert Everett (My Best Friend's Wedding, The Madness of King George) in drag as the school's headmistress, Russell Brand (Get Him to the Greek, Katy Perry's vagina) as a second rate criminal, and a flock of girls some of which are known to American audiences. There is model Lily Cole (Doctor Who, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus), Gemma Arterton (Prince of Persia, Quantum of Solace), and Mischa Barton (The Sixth Sense, The O.C.). Also, we have an appearance by Stephen Fry (Blackadder the Second, V for Vendetta, The Hobbit)

Annabelle Fritton (Talulah Riley) is our good girl. Her father places her in St. Trinian's after some trouble at her previous school, and for nefarious reasons of his own. She is well aware of St. Trinian's reputation and not at all happy about attending.

Pikeys

Our HBIC by default is Kelly (Gemma Arterton), a striking brunette with a serious dominatrix vibe going at all times. She is head girl and the only one no one messes with.

Gemma Arterton

The school is full of various miscreants of various stripes, and like Mean Girls (not to mention real life), the school is divided into cliques who are rivals, though generally get along. Think of it (again) as Hogwarts but without Slitherin.

Paloma Faith, Kathryn Drysdale and Gemma Arterton

The film has a very Animal House tone to it. The rival school (oddly enough, the one Annabelle left) are the Omega Theta Pis (ΩΘΠ) to St. Trinian's Delta Tau Chi (ΔΤΧ), not to mention Firth's Geoffrey Thwaites, Minister of Education, who is determined to shut the school down.

Annabelle gets a St. Trinian's Makeover

Not only that, but remember that nefarious plot I mentioned regarding Annabelle's father? Well, he is Carnaby Fritton, the brother of the headmistress, Camilla Fritton (both played by Rupert Everett). He wants to take over the school to make a hotel, and is increasing bank pressure to collect on old debts. As is typical with teen school/camp stories, they need to raise some money to save their beloved home. Rather than a flamboyant bake sale or some such, they go the criminal route and attempt to steal the famous painting "Girl with a Pearl Earring" by Vermeer (Firth had already portrayed Vermeer in the film Girl with a Pearl Earring, something they do not fail to make into a joke).

In all, this is a fun, silly movie. Don't look for anything too magical. It has some good jokes, lots of hot girls, and a twist on a classic premise. Well worth checking out. No serious nudity or language issues that I remember, as it is rated PG-13.

Watched on DVD.

Premature Game Review: Slayer Pinball Rocks for iPad

2011-08-16T13:00:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I say I am not a gamer, and in some ways this is true. Once in a while a game comes along I love, but for the most part video games are not my thing. Pinball, on the other hand... I love pinball, and unless a table really, really sucks (or is broken) I will play a pile of tokens away. Problem is, pinball machines are few and far between in many areas; notably mine. What's a pinball nerd to do? How about this:

click to enlarge

Now, I did not get this because it was Slayer related, though that is not such a bad thing. It was pretty well reviewed at the iTunes store, and seems worthy of the praise.

The biggest problem I have had in the past with video pinball is the poor physics, but I have to say this one almost feels like the real thing. One thing I tend to rate video pinball on is the ability to catch a moving ball with the flippers. I don't know if there is a pinball term for this, but it is a great skill to have on a real table, and is actually possible on this game. I'm not talking about catching a ball from the side chutes, I am talking about a ball speeding directly to the flipper, and with just the right touch you stop it without returning it up the table. It is a finesse move, and this is the first video pinball game I have been able to do it on.

Now, I have not figured it out completely, and like a real pinball table it takes some getting used to. I am not sure how to accomplish some of the objectives, but there is a bit of a guide included. One thing I have avoided is the auto-view, which follows the ball more closely. This gets a little too move-y for me, and I prefer the full table so far, but who knows what the future holds?

Overall, it is a fun game which if it were not so good as video pinball I would love to play it on a real table.

Tech Tuesday: comiXology (@comixology)

2011-08-16T09:00:00.039-04:00

You have likely noticed more comic book posting from me of late. Blame comiXology for that. ComiXology is a comic book distributor that deals in print and digital media, and the digital is what we will be looking at here. You can view their comics in your computer's web browser or get their applications for iPhone/iPad or Android.

There are a lot of cool things with digital comics. For one, you don't have to deal with the comic book store, if like me your only comic book store is full of aging tools who think they are special because they work in a comic book store. Second, there are many free comics or preview issues to help you get a feel for lesser known titles and publishers. Third is hardest to get used to, but the point of this post; comiXology's "Guided View Technology."

What the guided tour does is walk you through the comic bit by bit rather than a page at a time. Double tap a panel, and it will fill the screen, then rather than advance page by page it will advance panel by panel (or portions of panels, depending on panel size). You can also set the preferences to display the full page before going to panels and afterwards, so you could set it up to show the entire page, then panel, panel, panel, then the entire page and so on. It is a fairly neat feature, but is not forced on you.Some comics seem to make better use of this. The panel advance with at times help build the tension by hiding part of the panel for dramatic effect. Others do a fairly straight walk-through.

ComiXology appears to be the major digital distributor, and their application will provide the big three (Marvel, DC, Image) as well as less prominent publishers like Dynamite. The only major publisher that seems to be off their system is Dark Horse (comiXology does have a few DH titles). Also, it appears that Marvel is only available on the iPhone/iPad applications.

When you look for digital comics applications, you will likely see all the various publishers listed, but as far as I have seen all (save for Dark Horse) are run by comiXology, so having an application for each publisher is for the most part unnecessary. However, it is likely that some titles or issues may only be available through the publisher applications. Yet another failing of the application-centric way of doing business these days.