Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I don't like...

Time for a negativity post, I think. I try to be a positive guy on the interwebs, but am not in real life (my wife has actually asked why I can't be more like my web persona). So, here are some things that have been bugging me. Please note that some use of Mommy-Daddy words are present, and if any statement hits too close to home, please feel free to tell me I am an ass for posting this.


There was a comic strip, or cartoon, or something a while back where two Trek fans were arguing over who was the better captain; Kirk or Picard. The Kirk fan was helping a jock at school with his homework, which exasperated the Picard fan. How can you help a jock? That's why you like Kirk. Kirk was a jock!

Now, whether Kirk is, or is not a jock, is beside the point a bit here. It does illustrate my problem with Superman, however. Superman is the icon of the jock, the douchebag, or as per Tommy Salami's retro terminology, the "vaginal bloodfarts" of the world. It is bad enough that Supes can be a bit of a dick without help, but the musclebound, spray tanned, date-rape-waiting-to-happen crowd with the "S" tattoos are certainly not earning the MoS any points with me.

"Bro Trucks"

These are those big stupid trucks with the big stupid wheels that are raised four feet for no reason whatsoever. Really, how much friggin' ground clearance do you need?

Guys who only seem to wear Harley shirts

Yeah, you have a Harley Davidson. Whoopdy-fucking-do. You ride Sundays for three months out of the year (if there is no chance of rain), and wear the shirts 365 days a year. Why? Because you're a real biker? These guys bug me because they bought a twenty thousand dollar lifestyle kit. You are not a 1%'er because you have a Harley. Show up to work with ice on your jacket, and then we'll talk; and I was riding a Ninja 500-R then.

Busy Bodies

"Did you do this?"

"Did you check on that?"

Will you shut up?!? Don't you have your own work to do?

Internet Dicks

Look. If I mention something on Twitter, that probably means I like/am interested in it. If you think it sucks ass, that is fine, but it is never appropriate to just tell me it sucks ass. Now, I have been known to attempt irony, so maybe the incident I am thinking of (none of you guys) is my mistake, but I have a rather strict think-before-I-type policy. If I feel anything I post, regardless of the media, is going to be offensive I like to say so up front.

[checks top of post for rant disclaimer]

[types rant disclaimer]

I try not to judge to harshly. I know that when i am dealing with fellow nerds, there can be some socialization issues. I have talked before of nerd-on-nerd violence. I understand it, but that doesn't mean I must stand for it.

Okey. I think that is enough. Pent up frustration released. For now... :-)


Thomas Pluck said...

Thanks for helping spread "vaginal bloodfart." I hope it rises to prominence. Once "douche" made it to primetime TV I knew it had to be replaced.

Agreed on Superman. He's the munchkin from space. While I love the first 2 Reeve movies, I never read the comics. The animated series was good fun, because he fought world-killing monsters from space, as he should. Space Jesus should not be bothered with bank robbers.

I re-read the Cowardly Lion post and admittedly I was guilty of nerd-bashing and self-loathing for many years, but I have learned to embrace it. I hereby repent.

Darius Whiteplume said...

I am occasionally guilty of nerd bashing. Don't get me started on Yugi-Oh players...

California Keys said...

Which is worse? Harley or Ed Hardy?

Darius Whiteplume said...

I dislike the fake Harley thing more, but for all around doucheiness, I fear you must go with Ed Hardy guys. At least Harley riders learned to ride a motorcycle.

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