Thursday, July 8, 2010

Short Movie Reviews

Archer Season 1 is very similar to Frisky Dingo in style. H. Jon Benjamin voices Sterling Archer, and Aisha Tyler is Lana Kane, top agent and former lover of Archer. It is silly and dirty. H. Jon Benjamin (Home Movies, Lucy: Daughter of the Devil, The Venture Brothers) is hilarious, as is the rest of the cast. If you like Frisky Dingo you should like this. If you don't, well, it is likely more of the same for you.

Verdict: I loved it.

I Want Candy is about film students trying to make their first feature, and get involved with making a porn film. Carmen Electra is "Candy Five-Ways"—a sort of retired Jenna Jameson who their backers demand be in the film. Fortunately she loves the script. It is funny, if a bit forgettable. Elektra is cute and funny, but barely different from anything else she has done. Cameos by Jimmy Carr and Miranda Hart (Not Going Out) are fun.

Verdict: Typical wacky comedy.

MST3K: Zombie Nightmare is obviously a bad movie, just watching it for the MST3K. This one is not a great episode, hardly a classic. Adam West and Tia Carerre are in it. The movie is a zombie version of I Know What You Did Last Summer, and is a Voodoo zombie rather than plague zombies. This is a Mike Nelson episode. I like Mike alright.

Verdict: Meh.

Liza's at the Palace is a Tony Award winning show by Liza Minnelli. It is from 2009, two years after her divorce from David Gest. Sure, she's been a bit of a mess through her life, but she can still sing, and is funny. Her voice is every bit as good as it was in Cabaret! The second half is a tribute to Kay Thompson, her god mother, who was also head vocal coach and arranger at MGM for a time. It is interesting, though the music is definitely older in style.

Verdict: Highly enjoyable. Life is a Cabaret is a killer.

A Perfect Getaway is a lot of fun. You have to get through some boring parts, but really gets going after a while. It is a mystery, whodunit/whose-gonna-do-it, so I won't get into the story much, suffice it to say there are killers loose in Hawaii, and somebody is going to die. Tim Olyphant from Deadwood (Sheriff Bullock) and Milla Jovovich are in it, as well as some chick from Lost and Steve Zahn. (DVD)

Verdict: Highly watchable.

Princess of Mars is a SyFy channel adaptation of the Edgar Rice Burroughs classic. It is somewhat like the original story, but takes some liberties. You take your chances when you attempt to film a century-old story that is beloved by generations. I will say, it is not nearly as bad as it could have been. I did not like that John Carter was a bit of a wimp here. The character is one of the inspirations for Conan and Elric, yet in this movie he refuses to eat a bug when he's starving? If "I yet live" is your motto, you'll eat a bug or two to survive.

Verdict: Meh, with a few cool bits.

Dracula A.D. 1972 is one of Christopher Lee's last stabs at the Count versus Peter Cushing as van Helsing. Hammer was trying hard to appeal to younger audiences at this point, so it is full of Mod hi jinx and "chicka-wah-wah" music. You can feel the old Hammer stuff, and if you ignore their attempts to stay relevant with the youngsters it is pretty enjoyable. It is a good story idea. Oh, and Stephanie Beacham as Jessica van Helsing is pretty hot (despite the Linda McCartney hair).

Verdict: A must for Lee and Cushing fans. A good choice for old-school vamp fans or those who do not let their vampires sparkle.


Unknown said...

Archer is awesome. And you are right, The Princess of Mars could've been worse...but it could've been better if we saw "more" of Traci Lords.

Darius Whiteplume said...

What the hell was going on with Antonio Sabato Jr and his Tramp Stamp? Is that his real tattoo? You gotta have big balls to sport one of those.

Lazarus Lupin said...

Princess of Mars did exceed my cringing expectations. I truly expected to both suck and blow at the same time. It kept one of my favorite bits from the stories about how John Carter is a bit like superman on mars able to leap tall um... rocks in a single bound. They screwed up the green martians but I expected that. I'm curious if the big budget version will be any better.

Lazarus Lupin
Art and Review

Darius Whiteplume said...

@LL - Yeah, they couldn't pull off the Tharks on their Sid & Marty Croft budget. I hope Disney does a better job, but how could they not? I just wonder how they'll handle all the nudity.

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