Thursday, December 9, 2010

Lucifera Demonlover (Paolo Lombardo, 1972)

AKA The Devil's Lover, aka l’Amante del Demonio

I have been wanting to see this Rosalba Neri film for a while. Luckily, I wanted to see it because Rosalba was in it, because frankly there was not much else there.

First, the MYA transfer is in full-screen and terrible. There are numerous glitches in the encoding as well as a lot of sections of bad film. There is a serious dearth of attractive actors and actresses despite it being a nudie horror.

The story? Oh...

Rosalba and two friends are traveling and want to see an old castle that reportedly belongs to the devil. Not a devil. The Devil. When they tell the caretaker what they came for he is a bit perturbed, but then overly enthusiastic; going so far as to offer them lodging for the night.

Leg fans will notice the appropriate myth-buster attire.

So, the three are served dinner by their host who has set a fourth place. They think it is for him but he "never eats at night." Always a good sign, right? Helga (Neri) decides the place is set for Lucifer, and that he is there with them, invisible.

Tempting fate is what the whole thing is about. Helga drops the wineglass she just toasted with and suddenly feels ill and wants to go to sleep. She wakes during a storm and decides to explore the castle with only candles and a negligeé. She discovers a painting that looks like her, gets scared and faints. When she wakes up, she is at a Renaissance Faire.

What do you mean there's no television?

Not really, it is the 1560s and she is her past self—a rather trollopy man-eater. She has made an enemy of her old friend Magda, a rather rough looking Ann Margaret impersonator.

Oh yeah, and a weird guy in a pointy hood keeps popping up. Certainly he's no one to worry about?

I'd like a rum and Tab please.

Well, they start talking about superstitious clap-trap and the crux of things happens when the aforementioned "Hoody" see's Helga's wedding dress; a most unpardonable sin and a curse on her proposed marriage. She seeks out an old witch for help removing the curse, but the hag is just a procuress of sorts for the local orgy/vampire set.

Sure thing.

We like our meat fresh.



Those girls will never be the same again.

Well, fortunately Helga escaped and was not ravished by the Party Monster crowd. Of course, she is meant for The Devil. He puts his Panty Melter© on full force, but he is such a clit tease.

Well, Helga doesn't want any of that and decides to do The Devil's bidding; killing her semi-beloved Hans then escaping to the desecrated church for some lovin' from The Fallen One.

Of course the village people are tipped off to the infernal goings-on. They arrive just in time to find Magda being tortured by the evil couple.

Helga looks to Lucifer for help, but he has vanished. She runs from the old church to beg mercy from the priest, but guess what? He's The Devil!

Poor, poor Helga. They burn her. After all, that was television in the 16th Century. Helga wakes up back in The Devil's castle in the modern age ready to hot-foot it away from there. Who could blame her?

I have to tell you, if this did not have Neri in it it just might have been unwatchable. I will only read subtitles for something I need to see. Neri's acting is so much better than the film. The performance is a tad melodramatic, but she uses her face and body like an artist. She is certainly better than most of the films she appeared in, and certainly better than this one.

Verdict: for Rosalba Neri or low-budget Satan movie fans.

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