Wednesday, August 24, 2011

WIP Wednesday: Jungle Warriors (Ernst R. von Theumer, 1984)

Jungle Warriors is sold as a WIP film and a Sybil Danning vehicle. Frankly, it is neither. For the most part it is a Marjoe Gortner (Food of the Gods, Starcrash) movie with lots of window dressing. It does have the awesome John "Dean Wormer" Vernon as the awesomely yet inappropriately named "Vito Mastranga."

Frankly, this movie is so bad I am surprised Andy Sidaris did not make it. I spent several sittings trying to complete it, and just could not. There is the bad guy's head thug who uses a bow and arrow, yet it is not a recurve bow and he only carries two arrows. Also, I don't remember him shooting it once. If he did, it certainly wasn't memorable enough to show him with it every time he appears on camera. Danning has a few minutes to try out her Dyanne Thorne impersonation, but to little effect. BTW, don't get me wrong. I like Andy Sidaris and Sybil Danning, but the comparisons here are, I believe, justified.

To the best of my knowledge, the only way to get a hold of this one is in a triple feature DVD partnered with the awesome Chained Heat (Linda Blair, Sybil Danning, Tamara Dobson, Jill St. John) and Red Heat (Linda Blair, Sylvia Kristel). If WIP is your thing, it is a set worth getting. Skip Jungle Warriors though, unless you want to see Marjoe Gortner bite it. And who doesn't?

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